I like assembling puzzles.
I sit for hours. Examining pieces - shapes, colors, pictures. I examine empty spaces. I lay a piece, it locks or not.
I look at the box cover as a guide. Often it helps, sometimes not.
The box cover. It's a representation of what the puzzle will look like after assembled. The puzzle too is a copy, a representation.
Covers.
Copies.
Representations.
Pieces that fit.
I have felt, much of my entire life, like I don't fit.
Maybe it's because the places in which I've found myself are representations, covers. In other words, maybe those groups aren't authentic, at least for me. Behind the cover is something too dissimilar from what the cover depicts...and it makes me uncomfortable. Like, wearing clothes that don't fit; they are uncomfortable.
Do others feel that way?
I would think so, at least to some extent. And sometimes, something fits that later no longer fits. We change. The group changes.
I used to think that everyone felt they didn't fit, like I used to think that everyone felt neglected, or like I used to think that everyone hears a high pitch noise during silence. Those things have always been with me, so I thought they were with everyone. I just thought those was part of being human, being alive.
I have felt a connection among a certain gathering of poets, another certain gathering of writers, some artists, and hikers I meet along the trail.
Maybe those folks feel they don't "fit" either.
I guess that'd make us "misfits." Except the males; they'd be "misterfits."
****************
4 comments:
I love everything about this post. From the metaphor of the puzzle box, to the puzzle, and the idea that both are representations - and the relation between the puzzle and its box, and the pieces that don't fit. I really really love it.
Do you know, one of the things I like so much about living in NYC (not the wall street or times square areas- but the other 95% of Manhattan)? It's the perfect place for someone who feels like a misfit (like me). Not only are you surrounded by other misfits, but being a misfit is fun and interesting here. When I lived in Boston (for 5 years) I found out what it felt like to be a 'piece that doesn't fit' into a puzzle who's ideal form is represented on the cover of the box. Here in NYC, none of the pieces fit! That's what I like about it.
Thanks Jon. Glad you like it and can relate.
I've only visited NYC once, and that was decades ago...another life. Ha! But I can envision (and feel, as well as one can without being there) what you're relaying.
Weird as it may sound, your description causes me to think of folks I meet while backpacking. Not sure what it is, maybe a certain independence or something.
My teenage kids did a week-long NYC trip about 6 years ago. They stayed in an international hostel, hooked up with a local dude who showed them the city, and loved it.
I'll have to visit again sometime. It is on my roundtuit list.
BTW: My daughter and I backpacked last year in NY...and I could see the city lights halo from where we camped one night, near Bear Mountain. (I think it was Bear Mountain.)
I haven't done backpacking - but I can imagine exactly what you mean about that. A setting where people shed the facades they might otherwise carry around.
"A setting where people shed the facades they might otherwise carry around."
Yes! So well stated. Thanks for that!
What a great mind pic...at least for me. To be aware of my surroundings enough to notice if the setting encourages authenticity or not...and to be aware of my internal responses wherever I might find myself.
It's quite a grounding statement, at least for me.
Thanks again!
Post a Comment