September 25, 2013

The WOW Handbook: "What is expected of WOW Ambassadors?"

"Natural leadership ability" was one of the written qualifications to enter The Way Corps - a commitment to a "lifetime of Christian service."

"Natural leadership ability" was not one of the written qualifications to volunteer as a Word Over the World Ambassador. "Word Over the World," "W.O.W." - that was our goal. Each one reach one.

What were some of the qualifications to go WOW?
  • A heart to serve and obey the Word.
  • Must be a graduate of the Power for Abundant Living class.
  • Sign the blue WOW registration card.
  • Submit a short essay about why I want to be a WOW.
  • Attend WOW training.
  • Bring with me to commissioning and onto the field a certain amount of cash. (Was it $300? I can't recall now.)

A WOW Ambassador made an out-and-out commitment to serve for one year on "special assignment" in the area to which the volunteer was assigned by Way International leadership, a commitment to work a part-time job at least 20 hours per week but no more than 35, a commitment to witness the Word at least 40 hours per week, a commitment to perform the "five basics," a commitment to abide by the guidelines outlined in the WOW handbook.

The "five basics" included reading the Word daily, speaking the Word daily, abundant sharing of time and finances weekly, speaking in tongues daily, and fellowshipping with like-minded believers daily. I thought the "five basics" were a no-fail system. As long as I did the five basics, I couldn't fail. God had to honor the five basics.

What were some other expectations of a WOW?
  • Up by, not at, 7 AM and in bed no later than midnight each day.
  • Each morning spend at least 30 minutes privately and personally reading the Word and speaking in tongues.
  • Attend and be intent in the WOW family meeting each day.
  • Dress and present myself in a manner that is acceptable to the general community where I have been assigned.
  • Marital status remains the same for the one year. Married couples cannot get pregnant.
  • Each week, take off one day from my secular job and from witnessing.

In my 1980-81 WOW handbook, I recorded personal notes. Listed below are a few of those notes from the page entitled "What is expected of WOW Ambassadors," :

These principles are things to achieve - goals.
I decide as a coordinator to do God's will (these principles) and I will (we will) be like Daniel 1:15, 18-20.
Just do these and the pressure will be taken off me.
"Make these things law." ~V. Finnegan
If I am counseling all the time, I am doing something wrong [and] my focus is not on my WOW commitment.
If you have a need, witness.
These are not guidelines to condemn ourselves.
No pregnant mothers. Ask my married couples what kind of birth control they are using.


The 'Ministry' year was 1980-81. I was 21 years old. I had been commissioned as a Word Over the World (WOW) Ambassador to serve for one year in Torrington, Connecticut.

*~*~
My blog entries about The WOW Handbook
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September 24, 2013

Felt Dream

9/23/13 ~ Journal entry
Sitting at a picnic table
Alone in the woods
Rocky Knob
Blue Ridge Parkway, VA
******

Why do I like to be alone in the woods?
There are no expectations.

I think it is impossible for me to carry this mindset into life in the city. Expectations scream everywhere my eye and ear turn.

Was it Thoreau or Emerson who went to the woods? I'm thinking it was Henry David. Knowing me, I'm probably wrong. Maybe it was Ralph Waldo. For now I can make it up and say it was "Ralph David" or "Henry Waldo."

I wonder how old he was when he went to the woods? If I search and find "Why I went to the woods" will I finish reading it? It seems there is also a chapter entitled something like, "Why I left the woods."

I've never read Walden.

Regardless, I know I love the woods.

Sometimes I think I should burn every book I've written. I've written at least 13 journals, or in other words, books. Other times I think that I should maybe read through my journals, polish the prose a bit, and see what comes out. I could call it "Condensation."

I wish I still had my journal writings from my late teens when I found The Way. But I discarded those writings some years after I joined The Way; those writings were devilish to my true believer heart. I was to forgot the past, declare it null and void.

The Way. The Way. The Way.
Such a simple name. Such a complex subject.

A few weeks ago I bought a new-used bicycle. I've been able to ride it a few times. I've ridden nine-ish to twenty-ish miles each time.

Last week I had a rough week emotionally and physically. But the one day I was able to ride my bike was a good day. As I rode along the paved greenway between two giant fields of yellow and white and purple wild flowers amidst green stems and leaves and foliage and amber grasses that were tall and feathery and swaying in the breeze, I smiled. My heart felt a ray of hope.

This is my element. Here, in the fields, in the woods - this is where I feel at home, where I feel I fit. It is where I am supposed to be. Surely, surely, surely, I will get well enough to be able to backpack again.

My heart swelled with that ray of hope. Maybe it is false hope, but at least I felt hope.

Some six-ish miles later, still riding my bike on the greenway, not smiling now because I was having to work a bit harder and I was more aware of the pain in my hands and wrists and arms and knees and feet, the cursed neuropathy pain, I was especially cognizant of the pain I felt where my covered steel braces on each hand make contact with the handlebars. The neuroapthy pain is seldom intense; it's most often low-level pain. Yet, it is a constant companion, along with the weakness.

Aware of the pain, I thought of backpacking, especially of thru-hiking the Appalachian Trail. For a moment I felt the trail...the long monotonous miles, the pain in my feet and legs from hiking, the hassling rain, the barren aloneness in the green tunnel, the harsh and unforgiving elements of nature, the satisfaction of a day well hiked, the company of trail companions - other hikers from all over the world with whom a camaraderie is known without ever having to speak a word, the stories shared, the authenticity of being in the unforgiving woods. The woods only care about the woods.

I know the harsh and barren reality of a thru-hike. Yet I still want it, all 2184 miles.

And then, I cried, knowing the reality that my dream may remain only a dream. Sometimes I think it doesn't matter anyway - it's just a dream.

September 15, 2013

Claim to Fame

In the past few days, a comment on toss & ripple brought to mind when my children were young and we found a baby squirrel whom we nurtured until he was adopted back by a momma squirrel. At the time, Dorothy Moore contacted me and asked if I'd write the lead article for the then-upcoming issue of the Moore Report International (MRI). It's my only claim to homeschooling fame. Ha.

I don't know how to scan things into my computer and currently don't feel like learning how, so I took a photo with my phone. Below is a the photo of the front cover of that issue of MRI. The photo in the 1995 article is of my daughter feeding Squirrely.


September 12, 2013

It's Just Semantics....

I realize any readers of toss & ripple may not be interested in the following regarding John M. Knapp, aka Johnny Profane.

Some may say, "Knapp is inconsequential. What he states really makes no difference." And that is probably true. Yet, my life still has residual effects due to Knapp's past abuses. I cannot speak for any others who experienced his mistreatments.

Will he again act out at some point within his new circle of influence? Maybe; maybe not; maybe he already has. From my experience and from what I've been told, Knapp somehow manages to erase his past misdeeds and weasel out of accountability for his words and actions.

The following are a couple more current falsehoods Knapp states. It's just semantics, of course.
  • Johnny Profane (John M. Knapp) states on Twitter and elsewhere that he is a "defrocked therapist" indicating that his license to practice therapy in the mental health field as a social worker was revoked.

Knapp is not "defrocked" nor has he "lost his license" nor was there ever a "lawsuit" resulting in said loss of license.

As of 9/12/13, Knapp is still listed as a Licensed Master Social worker in NY state, but his status is "NOT REGISTERED." (*See screen shot below.) "NOT REGISTERED" does not mean that his license is revoked. It means that Knapp didn't re-register and that his "registration has lapsed without explanation." Without registration he cannot legally practice as a social worker; but he has not "lost his license" nor been "defrocked." If he had lost his license, his status would read "LICENSE SUSPENDED," "LICENSE REVOKED," or "LICENSE SURRENDERED." Could he re-register if he tried? I do not know. I would hope not.

There was never a lawsuit against Knapp regarding his therapeutic services. In October, 2010, I filed an official complaint with NY state, a complaint is not a lawsuit. The complaint was investigated and NY state's Office of Professions then informed Knapp of its findings and proposed charges. In November, 2012, a hearing was held before Knapp's Licensing Board. Knapp did not show for the hearing. As of yet, no determination from the state has been declared regarding any disciplinary action against Knapp or regarding Knapp's license. It is possible that no disciplinary action will be taken against Knapp.

Regarding any lawsuits against Knapp: in September, 2011, a small claims suit was filed in NY against Knapp by one of Knapp's previous employees for non-payment to said employee. The employee won the case, and Knapp was served the judgement. Within a week or so of being served, Knapp skipped state without ever paying that employee or responding to the judgement. To my knowledge, that is the only "suit" filed against Knapp. It did not result in losing his social worker license.

I guess by advertising that he is "defrocked," Knapp may want to impress that he is a rebel who bucks the system. If he advertises about the real "suit" (as small as it was) where he never paid a previous employee...well now, that might just give the wrong impression.
--------

*Screen shot as of 9/12/13 from the NY State Office of the Professions Verification Searches online public site:














****
February, 2014, update: On January 14, 2014, NY state reached it's ruling. Knapp was found guilty of professional misconduct; including negligence, incompetence, on more than one occasion, and unprofessional conduct. His license was revoked. Link to ruling on the NYS website: LINK
****

September 11, 2013

I still want a yurt ....

non-subject: bringing it together
aww: september 13, 2013
---------

I am no longer the warm open person I used to be.
I used to say, "I wear my heart on my sleeve."
I don't do that anymore.

For the most part I stay distant from forming close relationships with new people.
I don't have the same passion I once did...to reach out, to offer help to others.

Have I become calloused and cynical?
Or am I just dampened, doused one too many times to silence the embers that spark the fire?

As I sit on my back porch, this night of September 11, 2013, I hear crickets and tree frogs. A symphony of sound coming from our small spread of backyard woods. Woods that if I had the money I would clean up and plant bamboo and erect a yurt for my private space, away from my home where work of some sort or another always seems to be calling. Laundry, dishes, bills, scrubbing, dusting, vacuuming, organizing, sorting, placing. Little of which I do in much fashion the past 5 years.

I keep telling myself that I must get my home in order. Yet, I avoid it.
The task looms large.
The task reminds me that I am growing old.
The task will bring up all the unfinished projects I once started.
The task will resurrect the many different self-employed businesses in which I've dabbled...from multilevel marketing sales to preschool music to miniature art to pet sitting.

Some 15 years ago Susan, a fellow eclectic-homeschooling mom in Lunch Bunch Learners, the Greensboro homeschool group, stated to me that she was "a generalist." Like me, she wasn't an expert at anything but knew a little about lots of different things. At the time I thought, "Finally I have a label for what I am - a 'generalist.'"

When I get around to the monumental task of decluttering my home, I'll have to make decisions. Not general decisions, but specific. I'll have to form opinions about what to keep, where to put it, what to give away, what to recycle, what to trash. I doubt I will sell any of our stuff; I abhor having yard sales. I don't want to go through learning how to sell stuff online. Maybe I'm just lazy or maybe I'll change my mind from benefactor to salesperson; I don't know.

This dampening of my heart, this avoidance of having to feel, this loneliness that I have chosen - is that who I really am after all these years? If it is, can I accept that person as she is?  The past me, was that really me or was that who I was supposed to be?

Today I searched online for any wildlife rehab facilities in the city where I live in North Carolina. I found one. Volunteers learn the how-to of wildlife rehab and keep rescues in their homes until the animals are ready again for the wild. "I'd like that," I thought.

Then my critic chimed in, "It'd just be another thing you'd do and then get tired of. You'd probably only last for one animal. Why commit to that? You need to get your home in order, remember?"


September 10, 2013

The WOW Handbook: Romans 10:14 and 15

The 'Ministry' year was 1980-81. I was 21 years old. I had been commissioned as a Word Over the World (WOW) Ambassador to serve for one year in Torrington, Connecticut.

The WOW handbook, 1980-81.
Printed on the backside page of  'Dr.' Wierwille's introductory "Dear WOW Ambassador" letter sits Romans 10:14 and 15:

How then shall they call on him in whom they have not believed? and how shall they believe in him of whom they have not heard? and how shall they hear without a preacher?

And how shall they preach, except they be sent? as it is written, How beautiful are the feet of them that preach the gospel of peace, and bring glad tidings of good things!


Romans 10:14 and 15




I was a prolific note taker in those days. Still am to some extent. One of my subjects in high school was Gregg shorthand. I've used it through the years in my note taking.

Some of my notes from my 'Romans 10:14 and 15' WOW handbook page:

Root hog or die! Pin your ears back and move} all the new things are of God.
Life is dependent upon where that Word is in my life, not circumstances.
We need to lay that foundation deeper! Down to the rock. The WOW program is to build that foundation on the rock.
We are going to learn how to love people for the rest of our lives.
Problems in believing in each other stem from the fact that that person does not love himself. God is love!
Remember all God's benefits. Love people into loving themselves. 
Perfect love casts out fear, our only enemy. 
Overcome F-E-A-R by L-O-V-E by G-I-V-E.
PUT MYSELF IN THE OTHER GUY'S SHOES!
The greatest service we have for people in this ministry[of reconciliation] is the WOW program. 
We need to again start getting people born again and lead them into speaking in tongues. We do not need to wait until they take The Class.


The 'Ministry' year was 1980-81. I was 21 years old. I had been commissioned as a Word Over the World (WOW) Ambassador to serve for one year in Torrington, Connecticut.

*~*~
My blog entries about The WOW Handbook
*~*~

September 9, 2013

The WOW Handbook: Dear WOW Ambassador

The 'Ministry' year was 1980-81. I was 21 years old. I had been commissioned as a Word Over the World (WOW) Ambassador to serve for one year in Torrington, Connecticut.

The first wave of WOW Ambassadors was commissioned around 1971. To my recollection 'Doctor' developed the WOW program based, at least in part, on his experience when he went to India in 1955-1956. Bishop K.C. Pillai had previously shared with 'Doctor' that the people in India would be open and ready to receive the power of God, and the bishop personally invited 'Doctor' to come and see. 'Doctor' and Mrs. sold all their belongings, entrusted their new born youngest child at the time to Grandma, and sailed to India to witness the power of God in manifestation unlike they had seen in the States due to "unbelief encountered..in the American churches." Their trip included stops in other countries. They left the USA in September, 1955, and returned in April, 1956.

The 'Ministry' year was 1980-81. I was 21 years old. I had been commissioned as a Word Over the World (WOW) Ambassador to serve for one year in Torrington, Connecticut.

'Dr.' Wierwille was a gentle fatherly figure. He was kind; understanding; accepting; humble; honest; a giver; a teacher; a servant; one who heard the still small voice of God; one whose life was a "living sacrifice" as stated in Romans 12; one who believed and taught that people are to be loved, not used. I believed he loved me as an individual. I didn't believe he was perfect; he was just a man prone to temptations like all of us. But he believed the Word. His life was "the Word, the Word, the Word, and nothing but the Word." He was the man of God of the world for our day and time just like the Apostle Paul had been for his day and time.

The 'Ministry' year was 1980-81. I was 21 years old. I had been commissioned as a Word Over the World (WOW) Ambassador to serve for one year in Torrington, Connecticut.

On the opening page of the 1980-81 WOW hand book is a letter from 'Doctor' to all us WOWs. He sometimes addressed us as his 'kids.'

Dear WOW Ambassador:

God bless and greetings in the wonderful name of our living lord and savior, Jesus Christ.

Welcome to the wonderful family of God's frontline spiritual athletes.

Your one-year commitment as a WOW is destined to bless your life as long as you live. You only, by your believing, can make this the greatest year of your life.

I stand with you believing for God's divine benediction and blessing upon your life. I expect to see you radiating the greatness of the love of God and the power of His holy spirit. You will make the Word live as a WOW to the extent that you live in the Word.

God bless. I love you. Remember, you are the best.

Sincerely,
In His service,

Victor Paul Wierwille





The 'Ministry' year was 1980-81. I was 21 years old. I had been commissioned as a Word Over the World (WOW) Ambassador to serve for one year in Torrington, Connecticut.

Unknown to myself and most of the Way 'saints,' 'Doctor' was busy gifting rings to certain women on his private motor coach. As the man of God he was under a lot of pressure. He had needs, sexual needs. After all, it was the age of grace; believers were free in Christ.


September 8, 2013

The WOW Handbook: Out-and-out Commitment

The "Ministry" year was 1980-1981. I was 21 years old.

My interim-year Way Corps assignment was Word Over the World Ambassador Team Coordinator. Our team consisted of two WOW families. We were assigned to a small town in northern Connecticut - Torrington.

This '80-'81 WOW year would be my 2nd time serving as a WOW Ambassador with The Way. I had previously served in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, in 1978-1979.

Our WOW handbook measured 8-1/2 inches by 5-1/2 inches.
The cover is pale green. Inside the cover are 8 pages directing us on our duties and functions as a WOW. Most of my pages are filled with my personal notes written long hand in the margins. The booklet is held together by two staples.



According to my notes on the cover of my hand book, in 1980-81, 1876 WOW Ambassadors were "commissioned" from The Way International's August Rock of Ages Festival. On the third page, the hand book states, "Who is a WOW Ambassador?"
"You as a Way believer make a one-year out-an-out commitment to give yourself as an Ambassador for God on special assignment to hold forth the integrity and accuracy of God's Word. As a WOW Ambassador you are ready and willing to serve in any area you are needed. Share with others what God did for you and what God will do for them also."

At the bottom of this third page, I have a hand written note - a quote from Dr. Wierwille:
'The only way to get you out of your [WOW] family, is to kill you and carry you out!' VPW"




'Doctor' didn't mean that literally of course; it was a figurative statement as to the gravity of our commitment as WOWs. We were sold out, "bond slaves for the Lord Jesus Christ" to stay faithful to our WOW commitment for one year, no matter what.

"...And you had the time
So you signed on the line
You decided to be an Ambassador
God loves you His faithful Ambassador"
(From The Ambassador Song)

Pay my vows.
Faithfulness. Commitment.
Pay my vows.
Faithfulness. Commitment.
Pay my vows.

But I didn't pay my vows.
I didn't stay faithful.
I AWOLed in October, 1980, after less that two months on the field.
I abruptly deserted my post.
I abandoned my WOW team.
I disgraced my Way Corps commitment.
My words were not salted.

In my mind, there wasn't much more of a despicable act.
In my mind, I had committed a Judas betrayal.

Dark days.

The years that followed, I would try to redeem myself only to fail again.

The "Ministry" year was 1980-1981. I was 21 years old.


*~*~
My blog entries about The WOW Handbook*~*~

September 5, 2013

Two songs: Hartford & John...

I hope to
never quit dreaming
watch wild ponies run
sleep in the open
greet morning sun
cast pebbles on water
embrace heron's flight
betwixt & between
tall buildings of life

~me

*******
"Goin' to Work in Tall Buildings" ~John Hartford




Someday my baby, when I am a man, 
and others have taught me the best that they can 
they'll sell me a suit they’ll cut off my hair 
and send me to work in tall buildings 
So it's goodbye to the sunshine 
goodbye to the dew 
goodbye to the flowers 
and goodbye to you 
I'm off to the subway 
I must not be late 
I’m going to work in tall buildings 
When I’m retired 
My life is my own 
I made all the payments 
it's time to go home 
and wonder what happened 
betwixt and between 
when I went to work in tall buildings 

~Music & Lyrics: John Hartford


*******


Partial length: "Michelle's Song" ~Elton John



Cast a pebble on the water
Watch the ripples gently spreading
Tiny daughter of the Camargue
We were meant to be together
We were made for one another
In a time it takes to grow up
If only we were old enough
Then they might leave us both alone

So take my hand in your hand
Say it's great to be alive
No one's going to find us
No matter how they try
No one's going to find us
It's wonderful so wild beneath the sky

Sleeping in the open
See the shadows softly moving
Take a train towards the southlands
Our time was never better
We shall pass the sights of splendor
On the door of a new life
It had to happen soon I guess
Whether it is wrong or it is right

So take my hand in your hand
Say it's great to be alive
No one's going to find us
No matter how they try
No one's going to find us
It's wonderful so wild beneath the sky

We learned to be so graceful
Watching wild horses running
And from those agile angels
We knew the tide was turning
For we watched as on the skyway
The herons circled slowly
While we mere mortals watched them fly
Our sleepless eyes grew heavy

So take my hand in your hand
Say it's great to be alive
No one's going to find us
No matter how they try
No one's going to find us
It's wonderful so wild beneath the sky


~Lyrics: Bernie Taupin
~Music: Elton John


Full length: "Michelle's Song" ~Elton John