After the Cult: Restoring the Soul

For twenty-eight years I was a loyal follower of The Way International, an authoritarian, Bible-based, fundamentalist organization which many consider a cult. I became a Way follower at 18 years old in September, 1977. I left at 46 years old in October, 2005.

I left because I no longer knew who Carol was; a gaping hole had developed inside my soul, and it was affecting my family. Leaving was hard. Leaving was scary. Leaving afforded me a banquet of choice and of learning how to think beyond the confines of an insular belief system. Leaving afforded me a paradigm shift.

As I began to educate myself after leaving The Way, I discovered that The Way is not unique -- my friend's experiences in a cultic-yoga movement were not much different than my experiences in a Bible-based organization. Though underlying doctrines may differ from group to group, methods to influence and to try to control followers are the same, and that along a continuum. 

A follower of most any cultic or high-demand group likely got involved in the group at a time when they were vulnerable. (Or a follower may have been born into the group.) After being deeply committed and then leaving that group, a person is again vulnerable; maybe more so than when they joined.

By learning about coercive tactics, a former follower can help keep themselves from falling into another similar, toxic relationship and can learn to recognize when that might be happening, enabling them to disentangle themselves. As the saying goes, knowledge is power. Part of that power lies in access to options, to choice. Once knowledge is expanded, options appear that one couldn't previously see. It is the individual's responsibility to educate him or her self and endeavor to learn what makes a healthy group and what makes a toxic group.

Not unlike other ex-cult devotees, my leaving process from The Way has been messy. And that's okay. I now believe the nature of life is messy, or at least chaotically organized. Despite the mess, or perhaps due to it but probably somewhere in between, I've learned to reasonably trust myself again. And I've probably received more answers to 'prayer' since leaving The Way than in all my previous twenty-eight years as a loyal Way follower.

Below is a list of links to a variety of sources and books about cults and group dynamics; about recovering from cult involvement and abusive relationships; about how to identify manipulations, manipulators. and coercive influence; about biblical viewpoints and doctrinal interpretations; about mental health therapy standards and abuse; and about physical, emotional, and mental health and wellness.

The list is in no way exhaustive; many more resources can be found by searching online. I chose these particular resources because they have personally aided me at various stages as I've disentangled myself from an insular mindset due to indoctrination. I have gone back time and again to some of these resources. I am grateful for the people who have shared and continue to share their knowledge and wisdom and stories.

To freedom and life and peace...

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The Definitional Ambiguity of the Term “Cult” by Michael D. Langone
On Using the Term "Cult" by Herbert L. Rosedale and Michael D. Langone

Restrictive Religious Groups by Jim Moyers
Psychological Aspects of Involvement With Restrictive Religious Groups by Jim Moyers
Them and Us: Cult Thinking and the Terrorist Threat by Arthur Deikman
Am I / Was I in a Destructive Cult? Online resource links compiled by Rosanne Henry

International Cultic Studies Association
Cult Research & Information Center
Spiritual Abuse Resources

Take Back Your Life: Recovering from Cults and Abusive Relationships by Janja Lalich & Madeline Tobias
The Emotionally Abusive Relationship: How to Stop Being Abused and How to Stop Abusing by Beverly Engel
Good Grief: Healing Through the Shadow of Loss by Deborah Morris Corvell

Leaving the Fold by Marlene Winell
Trusting Doubt by Valerie Tarico

The Authentic Writing Approach by Fred Poole & Marta Szabo
Writing to Find Your Voice, Writing to Heal by Linda Joy Myers

Bounded Choice: True Believers and Charismatic Cults by Janja Lalich
The True Believer: Thoughts on the Nature of Mass Movements by Eric Hoffer
Coercive Persuasion by Edgar Schein
Battle for the Mind: A Physiology of Conversion and Brainwashing by William Sargant
Brainwashing: The Science of Thought Control by Kathleen Taylor

The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse by D. Johnson and J. Van Vonderen
The Cry of the Soul: How Our Emotions Reveal Our Deepest Questions About God by Dan B. Allender and Tremper Longman III
The Inescapable Love of God by Tom Talbott
Unoffendable: How Just One Change Can Make All of Life Better by Brant Hansen

The HeartMath Solution by by Doc Lew Childre, Howard Martin, and Donna Beech
The Feeling Good Handbook by David Burns
Change Your Brain, Change Your Life by Daniel Amen
The Happiness Hypothesis: Finding Modern Truth in Ancient Wisdom by Jonathan Haidt

The Coddling of the American Mind: How Good Intentions and Bad Ideas Are Setting Up a Generation for Failure by Greg Lukianoff and Jonathan Haidt
The Righteous Mind: Why Good People Are Divided by Politics and Religion by Jonathan Haidt
We Have Met the Enemies of Free Speech, and They Are Us by David French

Eight Easy Ways to Spot an Emotional Manipulator by Fiona McColl
Breaking Free:What I’ve Learned About Spiritual Abuse by Barbara Milligan
Trapped in Silence by Sherie
The Nature of the Pattern and the Double-Bind by Marion Stricker
How to Talk to a Scientologist by Michael Leonard Tilse

The Cult That Snapped: A Journey into The Way International by Karl Kahler
Losing the Way by Kristen Skedgell
Undertow: My Escape from the Fundamentalism and Cult Control of the Way International by Charlene Edge

Lucifer's Brothers  by Casey
Not of My Making by Margaret W. Jones
The Guru Looked Good by Marta Szabo
Missing the Solstice by Karla McLaren
Blowing the Whistle on Enlightenment: Confessions of a New Age Heretic by Bronte Baxter
Oh, The Things I Learned! Lessons from 17 Years in the Hare Krishnas by Steven J. Gelberg
Secret Life of Swami Muktananda by William Rodarmor
Temple of Dreams: When Therapists Drive Their Patients Crazy by Carol Lynn Mithers

After Abortion: Post Abortion Stress Syndrome
The Complexity...of Post-Abortion Research by David C. Reardon
After Abortion, the Elliot Institute
Abortion Is A Blessing by Anne Nicol Gaylor

A Letter to Louise: A Biblical Affirmation of Homosexuality by Bruce W. Lowe
Would Jesus Discriminate?
Sexual Orientation, Gender Identity, and Intersex Conditions by Christiantransman
Gay Muslims posted by Christiantransman

Martin Luther: Hitler's Spiritual Ancestor by Peter F. Wiener (electronic format by Patsy Jackson)
I See Satan Fall Like Lightening by RenĂ© Girard
The Gnostic Gospels by Elaine Pagels

Scapegoating by The Raven Foundation
Undoing Scapegoating by The Scapegoat Society
Restorative Justice by The Centre for Justice & Reconciliation

The Sociopath Next Door by Martha Stout
Psychopathy Awareness by Claudia Moscovici
Correspondence re psychopathy from Robert Saltzman
Psychopaths, Girardian Theory & The 180 Rule by skylar
People of the Lie: The Hope for Healing Human Evil  by M. Scott Peck

TELL: Therapy Exploitation Link Line
Ethical Framework for the Use of Social Media by Mental Health Professionals by Online Therapy Institute
Code of Ethics of the National Association of Social Workers 
Potentially Harmful & Other Questionable Therapies by Monica Pignotti
Questioning Dissociative Identity Disorder & Multiple Personalities by Jeanette Bartha
Speak Out Loud by Clare Murphy

Anatomy of an Illness: As Perceived by the Patient by Norman Cousins
Head First: The Biology of Hope and the Healing Power of the Human Spirit by Norman Cousins
Molecules Of Emotion: The Science Behind Mind-Body Medicine by Candace Pert
The MindBody Workbook: A Thirty Day Program of Insight and Awareness for People with Back Pain and Other Disorders by David Schechter, M.D.
Women's Moods: What Every Woman Must Know About Hormones, the Brain, and Emotional Health by Deborah Sichel and Jeanne Watson Driscoll
New Hope for People with Bipolar Disorder by Jan Fawcett, Bernard Golden, and Nancy Rosenfeld
How to Be Sick: A Buddhist-Inspired Guide for the Chronically Ill and Their Caregivers by Toni Bernhard