March 23, 2017

"A Mile High And More, Hiking Atop The Roan," 1977

I walked into the house. Mom was there. I didn't live at home at the time. I had moved out some months earlier. I was a senior in high school and had just graduated a few days ago.

"I read your name in the paper," Mom said.

"Oh. On the honor roll list?" The local paper used to publish the honor roll lists every semester.

"In the Charlotte Observer." she said.

Weird, I thought. Why would the Observer publish honor roll students from Hickory High?

Mom then handed me the newspaper article. There was a big picture of me and Ginger on the Roan. It was entitled "Carol Hamby And Friend ...how far in one day?"

"Oh. Wow," I responded.

Some days before, I had met three ladies while hiking at Roan Mountain. We stopped and chatted as hikers do.  I thought it kind of odd that they took my picture. I hadn't realized they were from the newspaper. Perhaps they told me, but I didn't deem it significant enough to lodge in my brain cells.

They asked me if I wasn't afraid up there, alone. (Though I wasn't alone; I was with my dog.)

I told them, "No more than elsewhere. It's as safe or safer up here as down in the cities."

May, 1977. I had turned 18 years old in April.

~*~

A Mile High And More, Hiking Atop The Roan
By Dot Jackson
The Charlotte Observer, May 1977


Nowhere on the Appalachian Trail, hikers say, is there a place quite like the Roan.

So much of the trail, at least in Carolina, is through woods, its ups and downs and overlooks thickly veiled in green.

And then there is Roan Mountain.On the Roan you can see what looks like an endless trail ahead, topping endless hills, melting off into the horizon. It is the most beautiful, or the most depressing, depending on how much one loves to hike.

The Roan is bald. Or that is what they call it. It is really thick with grass as soft as a mattress, and in that grass the strawberries are blooming, and in July they will be red. People who do not like so much to hike will like to sit in that grass and pick strawberries to justify their presence on the Roan.

The huckleberry bushes, waist-high or more, like little trees, have bloomed and are thick with berries that will be ripe in late August or September. We wonder if the blackberries ever do get ripe before the frost. One is over a mile high on the Roan.

There are blackberry brambles. One finds them mostly when looking for a quick route to the ladies' room, which, the Roan being so bald, is hard to find and subject to incredible two-way vistas.

And there is always the wind, moaning, whistling, singing. The wind is a curse at zero, when the grass is glittering ice, and boots slip back two steps of every three, and a delight when the sun beats down with no shade for relief.

Some of us never trudge across the Roan, but we think of those 'leven hundred or so poor souls coming over Bright's Trace on their way to fight at Kings Mountain. (And we envy the devil out of them because lots of them at least were on horses.)

(There have been people on horses on this trail more recently than 1780. The evidence is hard miss more ways than one. We wonder how they get under the rail fence at Carver's Gap. The worst trouble a hiker meets is getting a loaded backpack over or under that fence. But it is worth it; it keeps out motorsickles.)

There is a special loneliness about that 10 miles across the Roan. Few days pass when the fog does not close in at least for a little while, separating one from one's fellows. It is hard to imagine that the mountaintop was once an elegant resort people came to for the views and the cool and to hear the peculiar humming sound the mountain made at night. (We thought one time we heard that, but it was only the wind whining in a pack frame.)

There were 160 rooms in the old Cloudland Hotel that was the "in" place at the turn of the century. The N.C.-Tennessee line ran through the parlors. Now even the rubble of the chimneys is shrouded in laurels.

But there are worse things than being up there alone. Like being with the outing from the home for the aged and they all walk faster.

Some of us were making that passage the other day slowly panting, when Carol Hamby and her dog passed us. Carol was a couple days from graduating from Hickory High School out seeing how far she could walk in a day, alone. We never caught up with her; plainly she could walk much farther, faster, than we.

Is it not dangerous being up there by herself? Not so much as being down where the crowds are. A college girl stepped off the trail into the highway a few weeks ago into the path of another young woman's car and died in the fog.

It is very near the top of the world, on the Roan. It is a long way down, from any point. The road from Roan Mountain Village, Tenn., to Bakersville [N.C. 261] clings hard to the mountainside, but does not always, sad to say, hold on.

There is a one-lane hole in the road now on the south side of the summit. A guard rail bends around it. The infinity of the valley shines through it.

"We had a bad storm about a month ago," says Gene Buchanan of the Mitchell County's Sherriff's office. "We had a couple of cars come up on it, right after it went. It just washed out from underneath." Fixing it will be something, with nothing to build on.

Meanwhile, the traffic in that spot will be squeezed. The laurels are blooming. The Rhodedendron Festival with all the crowds it brings, begins Wednesday and runs through Saturday.

Most people will not walk farther than the picnic grounds. They will not see the best of the views. They will not get briar scratches and sore bones and blisters. They will not get hooked...

~*~


1977 Charlotte Observer article. Mom's handwriting.

08/2010. Grandpup Yerba along the Roan Highlands...
the trail "melting into the horizon" as clouds roll in.

March 22, 2017

Rights and Lefts

I'm currently reading a book published in 2012, The Righteous Mind: Why Good People Are Divided by Politics and Religion, by Jonathan Haidt. The content is tapping crevices in my life -- probing some of the blindness in those crevices.

In one of the crevices sits my awareness of how my harmful experiences with Knapp still influence me. This was made more apparent to me when Trump got elected. And also, that friends and good people actually voted for the madman.

Sadly, I see nothing redeemable about Knapp. (A mindset I am endeavoring to mediate.) Likewise, I see nothing redeemable about Trump. Nothing. And that bothers me. Up until my Knapp experience, I could always(?) find something redeemable in another human being.

Another crevice it's tapping is in regard to "rights."

For years, especially since leaving The Way, I've pondered, What makes a right, a right? What are the universal human rights? Who decides these rights are rights? What is the standard? 

It's not something I've been diligently studying, but it's been on my mind simmering. Occasionally articles, quotes, etc. cross my path and spark the continual questions. Lately, that "occasionally" has become "regularly."

Recently, I asked a friend: "What do you think makes a right, a right?"

My friend's response included, "The Declaration of Independence says all men have the right to 'life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.'"

I responded, "I read that it was originally drafted as *'life, liberty, and the pursuit of property.'" I didn't mention some of my back-thought, like my questioning of the real motives behind our "founding fathers." The problems in our country go back far beyond Trump or Bush or Kennedy or FDR, depending on whose side one chooses.

My point being that just because the Declaration declares a right a right, doesn't make it so.

In the book Silent Spring, Rachel Carson quotes a French biologist, Jean Rostand: "The obligation to endure gives us the right to know."

That makes total sense to me. If we are to endure as a species we have a right to know about whatever could make us extinct.

Is the "obligation to endure" a standard by which a right can be measured as a legitimate right, a reasonable right?

**The Way taught, and I guess still teaches, that Christian believers as children of God have "sonship rights." These are righteousness, justification, sanctification, redemption, and the ministry of reconciliation.

I left The Way in 2005.

*I later searched "life, liberty, pursuit of property." It was not in the original draft of the Declaration of Independence. The rights of "life, liberty, and property" are attributed to John Locke. Some historians postulate that Jefferson substituted "pursuit of happiness" for "property." John Locke's actual words are "life, liberty, and estate," penned in his Two Treatises on Government published around 1690.  Locke penned the phrase "pursuit of happiness" in his 1690 essay Concerning Human Understanding. This link offers a side-by-side comparison of sections of Locke's Two Treatises and the 2nd paragraph of the Declaration: John Locke's theories put into practice.

**Link: Wierwille on Sonship Rights.

~*~

The Righteous Mind is a stimulating read, confronting at times. It encourages thought and thought behind thought. It's challenging, engaging, and validating. It takes me back to a subject I pondered for years, People behave the way they do for reasons. That doesn't necessarily excuse one's behavior. But if we can see the "whys" behind that behavior, would that maybe help us live more harmoniously? Not homogeneously. But rather like the black and white keys on the piano.

I like Haidt's manner of presentation -- respectful and inviting dialog. The experiments he shares fascinate me. Here's a link to a sample: Haidt: WEIRD Morality and Style of Thought.


~*~

March 3, 2017

Wireless

January 23, 2017....

Dr. Neurologist strides into the examining room. He's most always upbeat and energetic, but not in an obnoxious way. More in a cheerful, welcoming manner.

"Carol!" He greets me with a big smile.

I look up from Reader's Digest with a smile and hello.

"Did you know there's a place in West Virginia where cell phones are illegal? Well, not the cell phones themselves, but using them for internet and phone calls..."

He looks at me puzzled.

"At least according to this article," I respond. "It's because of some giant telescopes in the area. They're not telescopes that you look through. They operate by sound or radio waves or something. Radios and microwaves are banned too."

"How could the government enforce that?" Doc wonders out loud.

"I don't know about the microwaves. But cell phones just wouldn't get service."

We discuss my health for a few minutes. I'm getting my routine epidural today, my 15th epidural since I started getting them in early 2014.

I get up from my chair and hobble over to the examining table. I assume my epidural position by sitting on the edge of one side of the table. I lean slightly forward.

As my doctor prepares the epidural behind me, he resumes our discussion about the place in West Virginia. "Wow. I'd hate not having internet. News. Ordering stuff. Emails..."

I can't see his preparation unless I look behind me. But I've never looked, and I don't ever plan to look. I don't want to know what it looks like -- the needle and tube and whatever he's doing back there as I hear the crinkle of sterile plastic being unwrapped from the sterile injection tools.

I respond, "Maybe people can have internet, if it's dial up. I wonder if it's quieter there?"

I immediately think to myself...It might be noisier. Maybe they use more mechanical stuff, instead of digital. Thus noisier. But then, digital doesn't need internet...

Doc gently lifts the bottom of the back of my shirt and places it up over itself so that it stays lifted off of my lower back, exposing my skin. He does the same with the top of my pants, pulling them down slightly at the waistband. I feel cool, damp cotton gauze rub my skin at the base of my spine, and then a few light pricks as Doc quickly injects the numbing agent with needles I barely feel.

"Why would it be quieter?" Doc asks.

"Well," I respond. "It might be noisier...from more mechanical equipment rather than digital. But then you don't necessarily need wifi for digital."

I wonder to myself, By "quieter" do I really mean quieter in my head -- less brain chatter spawned from information overload...

I've often wondered about invisible waves in the air. If we could see them how much different would the air look now, jammed with communication waves, compared to time and space in the past before our man-made, wireless connection devices? How much do these unseen waves affect us? Do they interfere with us being able to tap our intuition? What about other animals and life?

I know the epidural injection is next. I begin my short, quick, rhythmic exhales intermittently accompanied by quiet humming and singing -- calming strategies I always use when faced with needles. I feel the internal pressure in my low back as my doctor inserts the injection and liquid is squeezed into the outer layer of my spinal cord. I then feel a different kind of pressure as he pulls out the injection tube-needle or whatever it is. Then I feel the quick swipe of a damp cotton gauze, and he places a band aid over the site. 

We then proceed to my neck injections -- five or so shots in the back of my neck, accompanied by my quick, rhythmic exhales and soft singing.

~*~

Here's a link to an article about that town, Green Bank, West Virginia, "where cell phones and wireless devices are banned, their use potentially prosecutable by law." Population, 143.

From the article:
So, cell phone use is limited in [this] National Radio Quiet Zone, a 13,000-square mile area that limits radio frequency in the eastern half of West Virginia and parts of Virginia, stretching to the Maryland border.

The article answers my neurologist's enforcement question:
The white Dodge Ram pickup looks like something from "Ghostbusters." Giant omnidirectional antennas are attached to its roof, and its passenger seat has been replaced with a receiver, Doppler system and spectrum analyzer.

The truck listens for anything that can disrupt sounds from outer space. When it rumbles down the back roads of West Virginia, residents are known to unplug their microwaves so they don't get busted.

Regarding the telescopes:
The main telescope weighs 17 million pounds, spans about 2 acres wide and stretches 485 feet into the air. Several smaller telescopes are sprinkled around it amid 2,700 acres of parkland. Leave your phone and digital camera behind.

The telescope can hear sounds from hundreds of millions of miles away and attracts some of the leading researchers in the world.

~*~

March 2, 2017

Fullness

Fullness.
I like that word.
Fullness describes how I feel when I visit Grayson Highlands or The Roan.

Grayson Highlands. Roan Mountain. The Appalachian Trail. These places are where I feel most at "home." But I can't visit that home in the same way I once did, before I was disabled. I'm no longer able to reach within its deepest secret places where I am literally miles and miles and miles from modern life and often from people. Sometimes I feel homesick. But at least I know where home is.

Though I can't hike long distances or spend overnights on the trail, I am still able to visit for six or so hours and sometimes even hike a mile or so in and back out. And in those six hours I feel I've been to paradise for a weekend. And I always want that time and feeling to linger. And I wonder, Why can't life always be this way? This is the way life is meant to be. And I try to hold that feeling as long as I can once I'm down the mountain and back into the cursed responsibilities of life and shoulds.

When I hear love songs on the radio, I usually don't think of my husband or a past lover or some hope for a future lover. I think of the Trail and the mountains and the woods and the fir trees and the spruce and the wild blueberries and Trail Magic and the feral ponies that roam the Highlands. I hear those love songs and my heart longs to be on the trail. It's a bittersweet feeling - knowing I may never again be able to backpack and hike deep; yet, at the same time, my heart swells with the fullness of joy from the memories I hold of special places and encounters.

Around a month ago, I was able to visit Grayson Highlands for a day trip. I'd received my epidural a couple days earlier on January 23 and it was working the best it's worked since before surgery in August. I think the January epidural was my 15th epidural since the beginning of 2014. Every 12 weeks I get stuck in the lumbar area of my back with the long needle or tube or whatever the neurologist uses for the injection. I don't want to see the equipment, and I don't want to know what it looks like. Every 6 weeks I receive around six to nine injections in the back of my neck. Those injections are simply shots and don't penetrate deeply like the epidural. My neurologist is really good with those needles.

And then, after my epidural and injections, within a week or so, I feel relief in my legs and feet and arms and hands and back and neck and jaws. The good relief can last for 5 weeks. Those are my weeks of freedom. Sometimes I feel guilty because I think of things I SHOULD get done. But instead, I go play. And then I know to not feel guilty for playing because I realize that play is my top SHOULD during those weeks.

Play should always be the top Should regardless of which week it is.

My day trip to Grayson was like a fairy tale. The whole day flowed like a mountain river on a clear day...gurgling and singing over and around rocks, flowing freely because that is what rivers should do. And in that joyful flow, so much more is happening than meets the eye. Life is happening. Life is being created and sustained. There's death too, and rebirth. The river sings countless stories.

When I go home to the trail, even though I can no longer hike deep, it is life to me. An indescribable fullness of joy. Even though I usually go alone, I don't feel alone. The trees. The rocks. The mountains. The feral ponies of the Highlands. The deer and hawks and crows. The small trickling cricks. The sky with its ever changing canvas. The sun and stars and moon as they travel their paths. And the wind. All of them speak to me, and I to them. At times I feel cradled by their presence.

I met a new snake yesterday while walking with my rolling walker on a local Greenway. A fellow Greenway walker showed me where the snake lives. To our delight, the snake lay coiled, his wound-loose body mostly covered with leaves. His head was raised keeping watch. He-or-she is a black snake. We decided to name him-her Schaff since the Greenway is part of Schaffner Park. I look forward to seeing Shaff again.

And that makes me smile.


March 1, 2017

Hawks in Flight

When I arrived at Muddy Creek Greenway the day I took the photo below hawks were flying low, and they were easily identifiable as hawks, as opposed to some kind of vulture or buzzard. I counted about 20.

Thirty minutes later more hawks had joined, and they were circling higher. I counted around 60.

When I saw them again after another thirty minutes, more hawks had arrived. I counted over 90, and took the picture.

A flock of birds circling like this is called a kettle. Perhaps something was brewing.

Hawks. Muddy Creek Greenway. 2/16/17.


3/02/17:  Last night as I stared at this photo before I posted it, the hawks began to sway/undulate/can't-find-just-the-right-word in their fixed positions. I thought, "Weird. Maybe the computer is still catching the picture."

I checked the photo a few minutes later and the hawks weren't moving anymore, until I stared at the photo in one spot with a certain focus - like trying to look beyond the birds. After a few seconds, the hawks appeared to be slightly moving again. I checked it about 7 more times over the course of an hour, and the optical illusion repeated.

I stared at the photo a couple times this morning, and the illusion didn't repeat which made me wonder if last night's occurrences had something to do with lighting or maybe that something is wrong with my eyes.

And now, this afternoon, the illusion has appeared again. Regardless of the cause, it's fun. :D

I wonder. Since the birds are at different heights and because of their quantity and positions in relation to each other, if the photo contains a 3-D effect, and if that is what causes the appearance of movement?