toss & ripple: After the Cult: Restoring the Soul

For twenty-eight years I was a loyal follower of The Way International, an authoritarian, Bible-based, fundamentalist organization which many consider a cult. I became a Way follower at 18 years old in September, 1977. I left at 46 years old in October, 2005.

I left because I no longer knew who Carol was; a gaping hole had developed inside my soul, and it was affecting my family. Leaving was hard. Leaving was scary. Leaving afforded me a banquet of choice and of learning how to think beyond the confines of an insular belief system. Leaving afforded me a paradigm shift.

As I began to educate myself after leaving The Way, I discovered that The Way is not unique -- my friend's experiences in a cultic-yoga movement were not much different than my experiences in a Bible-based organization. Though underlying doctrines may differ from group to group, methods to influence and to try to control followers are the same, and that along a continuum.

A follower of most any cultic or high-demand group likely got involved in the group at a time when they were vulnerable. (Or a follower may have been born into the group.) After being deeply committed and then leaving that group, a person is again vulnerable; maybe more so than when they joined.

By learning about coercive tactics, a former follower can help keep themselves from falling into another similar, toxic relationship and can learn to recognize when that might be happening, enabling them to disentangle themselves. As the saying goes, knowledge is power. Part of that power lies in access to options, to choice. Once knowledge is expanded, options appear that one couldn't previously see. It is the individual's responsibility to educate him or her self and endeavor to learn what makes a healthy group and what makes a toxic group.

Not unlike other ex-cult devotees, my leaving process from The Way has been messy. And that's okay. I now believe the nature of life is messy, or at least chaotically organized. Despite the mess, or perhaps due to it but probably somewhere in between, I've learned to reasonably trust myself again. And I've probably received more answers to 'prayer' since leaving The Way than in all my previous twenty-eight years as a loyal Way follower.

Below is a list of links to a variety of sources and books about cults and group dynamics; about recovering from cult involvement and abusive relationships; about how to identify manipulations, manipulators. and coercive influence; about biblical viewpoints and doctrinal interpretations; about mental health therapy standards and abuse; and about physical, emotional, and mental health and wellness.

The list is in no way exhaustive; many more resources can be found by searching online. I chose these particular resources because they have personally aided me at various stages as I've disentangled myself from an insular mindset due to indoctrination. I have gone back time and again to some of these resources. I am grateful for the people who have shared and continue to share their knowledge and wisdom and stories.

To freedom and life and peace...

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The Definitional Ambiguity of the Term “Cult” by Michael D. Langone
On Using the Term "Cult" by Herbert L. Rosedale and Michael D. Langone

Restrictive Religious Groups by Jim Moyers
Psychological Aspects of Involvement With Restrictive Religious Groups by Jim Moyers
Them and Us: Cult Thinking and the Terrorist Threat by Arthur Deikman

Eight Criteria for Thought Reform by Robert J. Lifton

BITE Model of Authoritarian Control by Steven Hassan
Healthy Church? School? Community? 12 ways to tell by Rod Smith

Am I / Was I in a Destructive Cult? Online resource links compiled by Rosanne Henry