Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep

I should be asleep now, but I'm not. As I laid my head on the pillow and stretched my body upon the mattress, relaxation 'ahhed' through my sinews.

It feels good to lie on my back and stretch.

Yet, I felt an urge to write, even to blog. So here I am.

I attended the phone memoir workshop tonight as I do on other Wednesday nights. The piece I penned tonight will not make it to public eyes, at least not now.

This afternoon prior to the workshop I was thinking about writing, as often I do. These days I write pieces in the workshops that I never post on my blogs. I like that. I am writing for me more than for others.

It is a difficult boundary sometimes when I write something that I plan to blog, to not write for others. I think it is somewhat impossible almost, at least for me. That is, impossible to not 'hold back' in pieces that I know I am going to publish on my blog.

I thought of Emily Dickinson today. She wrote for Emily and apparently for a few friends. I've never studied her life or her writings. I've only heard and read tidbits of information hither and yon. Funny that I was thinking of her this morning and then Dr. McColloch brought her up this afternoon when I met with him. I hadn't revealed to him that I'd just been thinking about that same poet.

I've heard that Robert Frost said something like true publishing is when a writer reads their own work to others. That is what we do in the memoir workshops.

I have compared the memoir workshops to a drum circle; we each drum our rhythm singularly but not alone.

I want to not premeditate too much in regard to what I write in the workshops.

Today, as I thought of that desire, the one about not premeditating before I write, I thought of The Way and what it teaches regarding how interpretation of tongues and the manifestation of prophecy are to be conducted.

One unique thing (at least to my knowledge) about The Way and many of the splinter groups that have originated from Way teachings, is in regard to their teachings about I Corinthians 12 and the so-called gifts of the spirit. The Way teaches they are not gifts, but rather manifestations. Two of those are the manifestations of interpretation of tongues and of prophecy. In The Way we were taught when you speak in tongues aloud in a believer's meeting, you immediately give the interpretation. Don't allow your thoughts to get in the way. Same with the manifestation of prophecy. There is to be no prethought as to what the believer will say in the interpretation or prophecy. A believer just speaks forth the first word that comes to him and lets the other words then flow.

I like when I am able to write with flow. One thing that helps me is to not write for others, to write first for me. Writing for me can include details that I recall from events. Often, the details help me remember more details.

Every one who is a loyal Way follower speaks in tongues, and most interpret and bring forth words of prophecy. The words do flow, but all must be proper and decent and in order and in line with the true doctrine.

Intriguing how a doctrine regarding non-premeditation can end up so pre-determined.