Quack: Projection or Pattern Recognition?

I don't exactly recall when I first wondered, Why does Trump outright lie about the obvious?

(Currently the "obvious" are statements about the economy doing better, how grocery prices are lower, how the USA is respected again around the world, how gas prices are down to $2.00 a gallon, and so forth...)

The knee-jerk response to my question could be, "Because he's a sociopath, a malignant narcissist, a conman, a gaslighter, and ..." 

But that still doesn't answer my question. 

Perhaps it'd be better phrased, "What advantage is there to outright lying when a person/people are outright experiencing the opposite of that which the liar proclaims?" 

The Way taught, "Confession of receipt yields receipt of confession," which means to speak into realty that which hasn't yet manifested. And also, to build one's believing so that the manifestation can happen.

Trump grew up attending Norman Vincent Peale's church. Peale taught similar to what The Way taught/teaches regarding this formula. This manifestation doctrine has been labeled the "health-and-wealth gospel."

Ah, maybe that's it. Trump maybe does believe that if he speaks something that isn't as if it is, in due time, what he speaks will manifest. 

*~*

In addition to the Jeffrey Epstein fiasco, I've been keeping an eye on the recent online feud between Marjorie Taylor Greene and Donald J. Trump.

What I see in Trump's responses is someone who is hiding or protecting something or someone. In his responses I see someone who is (or at least may be) guilty of the thing(s) of which he is accused and/or of the very things of which he accuses others. 

I witnessed this type of behavior in The Way and in the anti-cult movement and (more up close and personal) with John M. Knapp, formerly LMSW... 

Name calling, the perp making him/herself into a victim, deflection, threats, false accusations against those who are calling out the aggressor, outright lies to prop up just how righteous the perp is, flamboyant theatre as a way for the perp to present him/herself as someone who thinks outside the box and is taking a stand for truth in a clever way...

~*~

When The Way was unraveling in the latter 1980s and then again in the latter 1990s (corresponding with two big Way-believer exoduses), Hubby and I considered and discussed what we had heard and read. Each time we made, what we considered at the time, an informed decision to continue with The Way through both those exoduses. One of our concluding reasons to stay was, "There's nothing else better out there..." 

I've heard and read folks state regarding Trump, "Well, it's still better than Biden or Kamala." That statement kind of reminds me of us deciding there was nothing better outside the household of The Way. But how can one know if there's anything better if they don't look around and check out what else is out there? And how can one know that things would be worse under Kamala? 

[BTW, a bottom-line reason I voted for Harris (and either not vote or vote for a third-party candidate whom I figured would lose) was because I'd rather navigate the censorship of the Left than what I saw coming as the censorship of MAGA.]

As far as the sexual-abuse accusations against Wierwille (the founder and first president of The Way) and other top leadership in The Way, Hubby and I believed devil spirits were at work in the accusers. After all, the devil is "the father of lies" and he is always into blaming the Ministry so as to keep people enslaved to his manipulations. Also, free-love hippies were flocking to The Way in the 1960s through the early 1980s; these women probably flaunted Wierwille and in a moment of weakness he succumbed. And why didn't these women speak up earlier?  After all, they didn't speak up until after Wierwille died; he couldn't defend himself. 

Does that reasoning (by Hubby and me at the time) sound familiar? 

It's called rationalization and is a normal, human response when one is holding onto a "truth" in which they have invested a lot of energy, money, time, heart, life, effort, and trust. 

Hubby and I now believe and know differently regarding, among other things, the accounts of the women who have shared some of their experiences.

~*~

This morning, I read an X-post by MTG calling out DJT on one of his lies about her, that she had been calling him a lot and complaining to everyone that he hasn't returned her calls. She responded with the facts -- she hasn't called him, but she has sent him two texts which she posted. 

Good for MTG. That's how one should (depending on circumstances) respond to false accusations. 

Respond with the facts and material evidence if one has any.

DJT's post about MTG are just small, little lies that one could chalk up to just a misspeak...

That said, the devil is in the details...

~*~

When Knapp initially privately gaslit me and privately falsely accused me in August 2010, I could have brushed it off as not-that-big-of-a-deal. And in comparison to most abuses, it was "small" (unless you were in my shoes). But within a week of Knapp's abusive actions and words directed at me, I learned this wasn't the first time Knapp had behaved in this manner. The information I received was corroborated by someone else later that month. And yes, knowing that was one reason I decided that I should file an official complaint -- Knapp's behavior was a pattern.

As I state elsewhere upon learning this information: 

"...I am stunned at the things shared with me. I ask why no one spoke up about these incidents as a warning for others. Chris tells me that people allowed a wide margin for Knapp because of the supposed trauma he had suffered due to the TMO [Transcendental Meditation Organization]. Also, some thought Knapp had changed after going back to school and earning his social work license.

Though I don't take all the information at face value, it does match my experience. Knapp had behaved toward me as he had toward others.

But none of the others were clients..."

Of course, my personal experiences were not on a gigantic, national, worldwide scale which can result in national or global havoc (which brings to mind Covid).

And one could say that I'm projecting my experiences into what I am currently witnessing (and have witnessed) in the MAGA-sphere.

But here's another way to look at it: Maybe it's not projection, but rather pattern recognition.

If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck, most likely, it's a duck.

~*~

For a deeper dive into my experiences with Knapp, here are three links:

1) This is a copy of my complaint which I filed at the end of September 2010: Complaint Overview.

2) This post shares my response to Knapp's public accusations which he posted on his organization's website and on social media (tagging folks in the cult-recovery field) almost a year later, in August 2011: My statements addressing John M. Knapp's allegations & accusations.

3) This post shares a deep dive (but still omits details) into the timeline of events: The Knapp Saga: For the Record. As I state in the opening of the piece, one of the reasons that I decided to post the timeline is "because perhaps this record... may help validate anyone who has endured a similar manipulative experience; whether with Knapp or someone else. The timeline gives an example of the slow process into entanglement and of rationalizing certain behaviors because of so-called trust."

Again, if it walks like a duck and talks like a duck, most likely, it's a duck...

~*~~*~

Well, this is interesting...

After I published this blog piece I checked my blog stats for the past 24 hours. And, lo and behold, one post that had been visited is entitled "Why would they lie?"  

The piece takes a deeper dive into my rationalizations regarding sexual abuse allegations of Way leadership. Unlike my 11/15/25 post which poses the question regarding a perpetrator, the 2019 post poses the same question but in regard to the victim-survivors and whistleblowers...

Hard copies...

I recently received my routine bone density test results with an incorrect summary conclusion. 

Had I not done some digging prompted by what appeared to be (and ended up was) an error, would we have caught the mistake? 

Maybe, maybe not...

I do not know if the error was Pattern Engine (aka Artificial Intelligence) generated or a human error in data entry or calculation.

May we not dismiss our questions when a result or conclusion looks, feels, presents like it may be askew. 

But neither does that mean we should dismiss test results or conclusions... 

However, to quote Audubon:  "When the bird and the book disagree, ... believe the bird." 

~*~

My phone rings. It's my General Practitioner's office. 

Oh, this must be about my bone density test results. They must be worse. Dr. GP has told me that if any test result ever shows "bad" news, the office will call me before releasing the results via my portal...

I answer the phone.

"Hey Mrs. Welch. This is Nurse from Dr. GP's office. How are you today?"

"I'm doing okay, thank you." 

"I'm calling about your bone density results. They show that you now have osteoporosis. Dr. GP wanted to check about your Boniva; she's pretty sure you aren't taking it anymore?"

"That is correct. I think my last dose was sometime in 2023, maybe? I dropped it because my jaws had worsened, shifting more. And because jawbone loss is s side effect, I got spooked and wanted to experiment."

"Okay. Maybe you could try Fosamax or another medicine."

"Maybe. I'll talk about it with Dr. GP at my appointment next week."

"Yes. That works. Thank you. I hope you have a great day."

"Thank you. And the same to you."

After the call I think... 

Seems I tried Fosamax and experienced a side effect.,,, 

But lord, I can't remember what the side effect was.... 

Maybe Dr. GP has it in her notes...

Later that day I log into my portal to view my test results. My eyes immediately go to the bottom conclusion statement under my "proximal femur" results which reads, "Comparison: Decrease of 5.7% compared to 6/6/2023." 

Then I remember, Oh yeah. It wasn't just because of my jaw that I dropped Boniva... Since I was no longer receiving steroid epidurals and trigger point injections, I thought maybe I'd improved...

[I received my last steroid injections in 2022, after receiving them every six weeks since around January 2014. Bone loss is a typical side effect of long-term and/or high-dose steroids.]

My eyes wonder up to the top of the page which states, "IMPRESSION: 1) Osteopenia/low bone mass..."

What??

I wonder why Dr. GP's office said, "Osteoporosis?"
I bet she just saw that bottom line and did a quick surmisal that logically I had gotten worse. That's understandable. Or maybe the nurse simply misspoke...

Regardless, it's nice to see that I'm still in the osteopenia stage and not osteoporosis... 

~*~

Per my normal mode of operation, I pull up my 2023 results and compare them with 2025.

Oh my gosh. I've improved in three scores and held steady at one score. 

[Two scores for "lumbar spine" and two scores for right "proximal femur."] 

How can there be a decrease when I've improved and held steady?

Over the following week, I do some digging into my hard-copy paper files. I find a file, "Bone Density," which contains hard copies of my bone density tests going back to 2013. And I find notes I'd typed back in 2017 with the side effects listed when I tried the Fosamax and then Actonel. I check my computer, but those notes are no longer in my computer. 

Oh wow. This is great. I'm so glad I keep all these notes and have hard copies... 

My notes have paid off more than once... 

I gather this information and design a bone-density, at-a-glance chart. I include some history notes for contexts. I don't expect anyone, including my medical practitioners, to be able to remember all the details and repercussions of this wild ride with polyradiculitis. 

I also type a question on my chart as to how can that summary conclusion be correct when three scores have improved and one has held steady. Should it state "Increase" instead of "Decrease?" Or should the "2023" state "2014?" The 2025 lumbar tests state they are compared to 2014. My 2023 results state both femur and lumbar are compared to 2014. And my decrease comparing 2025 to 2014 shows improvement when compared with my 2023 to 2014 scores.

As I am putting this all together over the following week, I feel some anxiety...

Will this be the last straw with my GP? What if she drops me for non-compliance? 

She and I have been through these types of conversations before -- my refusal to get vaccines, taking myself off of blood thinners, taking myself off of Boniva...

I navigate this jungle gym of thoughts and worries... 

My health history is so complicated; I have no desire to find a new GP.

What if Dr. GP insists that I go back on a bone-building drug? 

I just can't do that now. 

My 2025 test results have improved from 2023, and 2023 improved from 2021. 

I'm biking again after an over-28-month, forced hiatus and am doing so without intervention from increased steroids; that's huge. Really, really, really huge...

I do not want to interrupt this trend by reintroducing a drug into my system. 

I journal. I think through how I will respond if GP tells me she can no longer see me as a patient, and I journal my possible responses.

As I'm journaling possible responses, I think...

Gosh. This reminds me of when I officially left The Way. I thought of every angle that leadership might respond with and wrote out my responses to those possible statements/questions. And the leadership responded almost exactly as I had predicted in my journal. But I was prepared. That's all I'm doing here, preparing. If GP drops me, I can use Dr. Neurologist until I find a new GP...

I accept the possibility of having to find another doctor.

 

Then, the night before my appointment I reread a blog post I'd written in 2013 about being an advocate for my own health. I didn't search for the post; I just clicked on a link of what a visitor had read on my blog the day before, and "Voila!",,,

After rereading it and the comments, I feel grounded and at peace... 

(The link: I shall rise... two, too, to...)

~*~

With my notes in good, easy-to-read, user-friendly order, I go to my appointment. Nurse checks my vitals, we chat a moment, and I give her my notes. She asks if it's okay for a student to be with the doctor for my appointment. This is also something I'd thought through; I respond that a student being present is fine. 

A few minutes later, Dr. GP walks in with my notes in hand... 

"You are correct. That concluding statement is an error. I think it should probably read '2014' instead of '2023.' I agree that right now, let's not reintroduce any medication..."

We have a very pleasant visit...

~*~

Again, to quote Audubon:  "When the bird and the book disagree, ... believe the bird." 

And I'll add, "Especially the canaries in the coal mines..."

~*~

What souls do...

 Will I click "Publish" without first polishing?

Craft. Polish. Publish.

Do not all humans engage in such? 

Well, except on X-Twitter maybe; or any social media where one chooses to hide behind an anonymous persona used to blast out their rage or whatever else they want to blast while hiding in plain sight.

But it's not really anonymous; there is a soul behind, underneath, within, around the words and letters and punctuation. 

That is, unless the persona is of a Pattern Engine. 

The Pattern Engine (aka Artificial Intelligence) does not have a soul with emotions, feelings, doubts, beliefs, neurotransmitters, and five-plus senses...

~*~

I listened as my good friend opened up about their challenges. I felt a deep sense of pointlessness as my friend shared one disappointment after another, decades of it. As they spoke, the title of a song came to mind - A Man of Constant Sorrow. 

My heart hurt for my friend; I have lived a life of pointlessness-feeling for over a decade now. 

I have written of it often. 

"Does anything bring you a sense of awe? A sense of joy?" I asked.

"Nature," my friend responded. "When I look at the sky on my job-commute, I am in awe. The trees, the clouds, the sun, the moon. The moon grounds me..."

As they spoke of this awe, I heard and felt a change in their tone.

My friend felt lighter after sharing their burden, and we both felt more connected. 

This is what souls do. 

~*~

One of the topics from our conversation was about how details matter and that noticing them matters. 

 

Upon waking the morning after our conversation, my first-recognized thought was an image of the word "pointlessness."

Then I thought, "A synonym of pointless is dull." 

Immediately I pictured a pencil with a dull lead and a pencil with a sharp lead and the strokes each makes upon the paper -- one sharp and clear, the other a bit fuzzy.

Then, my mind recalled a dream from my sleep state: the friend and I built back a bicycle whose parts had been scattered.

Then the thought, "Dullness is unclear, foggy. There is a lack of detail."

Then, " Ah, why bother with details; what's the point?"

Thus, I realized this connection between this feeling of pointlessness and a lack of attention to detail. Why care about the details when there is no point? 

Writing that out now seems simpletonish. 

On the other hand, I recognize a kernel of truth.

A few weeks ago, I thought about maybe writing a series of what a day is like for me, the nitty-gritty details. My immediate thought after pondering it for a moment was, "Boy, that'd be boring." 

And then, "But that's the point." 

Meaning the mundanity of the same tasks, day-in and day-out; tasks that cannot be skipped if I am to remain mobile in some capacity.

Part of what inspired this idea was rereading the book Endurance: Shackleton's Incredible Voyage by Alfred Lansing. It was my third time reading it, and I'll probably read it again someday. Obviously, it is one of my all-time favorite books. But this time, Hubby and I read it aloud to each other. It was Hubby's first time reading it. We both agree that the intimate details are what bring the book so poignantly to life. 

Could I do the same with writing about disabled life? 

If I follow through on the series, I feel like I would be inviting people into the reality of the disabled. And that is, at least part of, my heart/intent. It's not just about Carol, but all those who navigate the details of disability and caregiving; both involve a labor of love.

That's what souls do...

~*~

I'm able to ride my back again...

My first ride back in the saddle in over 28 months was on August 30, 2025. 

I've now logged 137.45 miles; 4.11 of those on my stationary, indoor trainer.

I would have more miles logged, but I was without a bike for three weeks.

The cold weather is beginning now, so I won't be able to ride as much.

But there is more pointfulness to riding my indoor trainer; if I'm alive come spring and still progressing in my ability to function, I can once again pedal outdoors.

That helps give me motivation.

This is what souls do...

~*~

New River Trail at Fries Junction, 10/13/25