Extirpation

This is part two of two.
Click here for part one:  Up The Way Tree

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Then again, how would life have turned out had Luke and I stayed together?  Not much reason to consider it now.  But sometimes I wonder.  Sometimes I long.  Then I breathe deeply, thankful for the blessings of life.
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Luke and I were assigned to the same Word Over the World (WOW) Ambassador family that Ministry year of 1978-1979.  The Ministry had two different months to start the year.

Practically, and in my mind, the Ministry year went from August to August, the Rock of Ages Festival being the kick-off and the culmination.  Way Corps assignments would change then, if they were going to change.  New WOW Ambassadors were commissioned and other WOWs who had completed there year were welcomed "home" to The Way Headquarters, congratulated, recognized, and pinned with a WOW Ambassador pin.  It was always a high time; the welcoming home and the commissioning.

The official month to start the Ministry year was October. The first Sunday of October was always recognized as the celebration of the founding date of The Way and a theme for the new year was announced.  The founding date was determined by Dr. Weirwille.  The beginning of October, 1942, is when he started a radio show called the "Vesper Chimes Hour;" I think that was the name of it.  I always thought it odd that October, 1942,  was the date for the founding of The Way.  It seemed to me that sometime in the 1960's, whenever Doctor established the name of The Way, would be a more appropriate date. Why didn't Doctor choose that date instead of the 1942 date? I thought it was probably because 1942 was around the time Doctor broke from the church and launched out on his own.  Just he and God, with God to teach him.  God had audibly told him that He'd teach Doctor the Word as it hadn't been known since the first century.

Like all the WOWs commissioned each year, Mary, Lenn, Luke, and I, were to find living quarters and jobs in our assigned city.  We were part of a WOW Branch with around six other families. The families found their own housing. But being part of a Branch helped; it didn't feel so alone.  I was 19 and the WOW Family Coordinator now in a big city to live for a year.  Our family was assigned to the East side of the city near the state university.  I liked that.

Luke and I were so in love and young, neither of us yet 20 years old.  We couldn't keep our hands off each other. But the Trunk and WOW leadership were obeying God to keep Luke and I in the same WOW family, despite me letting them know why Luke and I shouldn't be in the same house.

I ended up pregnant not long after being on the WOW field.  I recall going to the health department for a urine test; it was before the days of home pregnancy kits.  I recall being emotional during the first months on the WOW field.  How much was due to being pregnant and how much was due to low self-worth, I don't know.  It was such a huge commitment in my mind; to help move the Word over the world, to be spiritually responsible for peoples' lives.

I went to another city to get the abortion. It was sometime in the fall, late September or October. I don't recall discussing the decision with anyone, but maybe I talked it over with some leadership; I don't know.  It seems I drove alone to the other city, Madison; but maybe the leadership in Madison came and picked me up. I stayed with the leadership there, a married couple, Paul and Cindy.

Cindy took me to the hospital the day of the procedure.  I recall a hospital staff member, a woman, hollering at me.  It seems she was only a few inches from my face with raised voice letting me know in no uncertain terms how irresponsible I was.  I just sat there, in shame.  At some point Cindy firmly told the woman to stop, that I felt bad enough without her rubbing it in.

I learned decades later that Luke's counsel from Paul had been something like, "What's wrong with you that you can't keep your hands off of her?  Are you possessed or something?"  Luke was only 19.  Paul was probably in his mid to late 20s.  He was only doing as he had been taught; we all were, figuring it out along the way and endeavoring to obey.

I was prepped and rolled into the procedure room.  The staff had on masks.  A small pipe or tube was inserted into my vagina; it seems like it was stainless steel, but maybe it was plastic. The life was sucked out of me, like a vacuum cleaner at work in a duct system.  Afterward I was rolled into a ward with about 15 or so other young women. Our beds were side by side with curtains between them, the head of each bed against the wall.  I guess it was a recovery type room. It felt sterile, cold, and institutional.

At some point that day I went back to Cindy and Paul's house.  I bled a lot and mainly stayed in the guest bedroom during recovery. They were kind but I didn't want to bother them, to be a nuisance. I felt dirty. I felt alone.  I cried a lot.  I was thankful to have a nice place to stay to privately and secretly eradicate this error I had committed.

I had to call my mother to pay for the procedure.  She didn't have much to say, other than she'd take care of the bill.  We didn't discuss the abortion then or later. That was fine with me. I wanted to erase it, blot it out, forget it.

I think I was gone for about 4 days from my WOW family. As far as I know only Luke knew why I was gone, and he didn't even know that much.  We didn't discuss it, that I recall. Since I was in leadership training as apprentice Corps and going to some leader's home, I figured my WOW family and Branch brothers and sisters assumed I had leadership stuff to do.  I'm not sure what I or the WOW Branch leader told folks. Of course Drew, the WOW Branch leader, knew. Drew was protective of me, like I was his little sister.

I returned to my WOW family like nothing unusual had happened. I was there to move the Word. My absence wasn't discussed.  I don't think I ever discussed my error with anyone; it was erased.

Luke and I continued living in the same house as WOW brother and sister, still madly in love with one another, unable to keep our hands off each other, and trying to be our best for God.  Leadership didn't reassign him to a different family until there was a need elsewhere for the outreach of the Word; it seems that was sometime around Christmas. He was moved to another WOW family when someone left the WOW field; same city, same WOW Branch, different house.

We must have been more careful until the next August and beyond; I didn't get pregnant again.

Besides, the life that was sucked from my womb was just an appendage, no different really than having a splinter extracted.