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The following piece is part one of two.
Click here for part two: Extirpation
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God how I loved Luke.
I was 19. He was 18 when we met that summer of 1978.
We met at the Statewide Way Summer Outreach Program. I was assigned to the city of Fayetteville. I don't recall where Luke was assigned. It was at the end of the program in July, at the Certificate of Completion Ceremony, when Luke and I really connected. We both stayed the night in someone's home in the eastern part of the state. Both of us were going out as Word Over the World Ambassadors (WOW) in August, immediately following the Rock of Ages Festival.
The Rock was held every August. For about one week believers from around the world would gather in New Knoxville, Ohio, USA, at The Way Headquarters. So thrilling, so important, so spiritually high. This wasn't religion. It was God's family, His household. We were free in Christ. This was my first Rock of Ages, and I was going WOW.
How many people were at the Rock in '78? Fifteen thousand maybe? The Way boasted about having the largest big-top tent in the world. I guess it was true. That tent could seat a multitude in the 70's and 80s' as it towered over the gigantic tarmac or whatever those big paved-type areas are called. Hundreds, probably thousands, of folding chairs were set up by volunteers on the smooth, hard pavement under the blue-and-white striped giant canopy.
The chair set-up crew would "string the chairs," a tedious but important job. A straight-stretched string was used to make sure each chair was in line. One person held the string on the ground at one end of the row with another person at the other end of the row, while the two or three middle-of-the-row volunteers scooted the front legs of the chair to meet the straight-stretched string. Then the chairs were eyed, to make sure all was decent and in order. Decent and in order kept out confusion. Confusion could attract devil spirits, distract the mind of the receiver and the spirit of the teacher. Dr. Wierwille, the Teacher, was the man of God for the world; he wasn't perfect, but he heard God's voice clearly. Father would tell him when things weren't right, or if peoples' hearts were unthankful. It could distract from his evening teaching. Keeping the physicals in proper arrangement was a priority so that the spiritual nourishment would be accurate and we could receive the greatness of the Word.
~*~
The WOW Ambassador commitment was for one year, wherever The Ministry sent you. Like summer outreach, WOWs didn't know where they would be assigned until a day or so before they headed out to their designated cities. Some people decided at the Rock to go WOW. I had decided months earlier back in February. Dr. Wierwille had signed me up on stage in front of 100s, if not 1000s, of people at a Heartbeat Festival in Virginia Beach, Virginia. He had called me up on stage at the end of his teaching. Me and him, and the sea of onlookers.
After I signed the card, I stayed on stage with him as he heralded, "Who else wants to go W - O - W!?!" The call bellowed from him with that charismatic smile and love of God in his heart. He wasn't showy or pompous, but rather glowed with the excitement of a child receiving a much prayed for Christmas gift. Doctor believed in this cause, Word Over the World. It was God's cause, God's calling. To give every man, woman, and child the opportunity to say yes or no to God's rightly-divided Word as it hadn't been known since the first century. This was God's Ministry.
There I was at that Heartbeat Festival in February, 1978, on stage with Dr. Wierwille, handing out WOW Ambassador sign-up cards to people who came forward. I had to bend down to hand them cards; the stage was elevated. I was wearing my Holly Hobby dress, as I called it. A one-piece frock-type dress with a ruffle at the bottom of the dress that landed midway between my knees and ankles. I think I was wearing tights and some sort of laced dress shoes. It was chilly in February. Little 18-year old me, on stage with the man of God and part of his security team with their suits and stoic stances, handing out the blue over-sized index-type Word Over the World Ambassador Registration cards. Dr. Wierwille didn't have that stoic look; he was alive with life and the Word of God. So was the security team, I was sure. It's just they had to stay spiritually aware, like the Secret Service around the President of the United States.
~*~
And now here I was, August, 1978, 19-years old, at the Rock of Ages anticipating my WOW assignment along with other saints who were also going out WOW. Were there 1000 of us heading out to move the Word? I don't recall the exact number.
Luke and I sat together through WOW training knowing we wouldn't see each other for a year due to our commitments. We were in love at that point but had been 'behaving' ourselves sexually; we wanted to keep God first. Our WOW commitments were vows to God, to serve Him for that year, to put Him first. My WOW year was also my Apprenticeship Way Corps year. I would be going in-residence into The Way Corps at The Way College of Emporia in Kansas the following September, after my WOW commitment.
Electricity was in the air the night of the assignments. There were hoots and hollers as the WOWs discovered their destinations and who they would be assigned with. The saints not going WOW, thousands of them, were also there under or around the Big Top to celebrate the WOW commissioning.
When my section was announced from the Big Top stage, I opened my sealed envelope.
I was headed to a state in the mid-west! My heart thrilled! I had told God I wanted to go where it was cold.
I was the WOW Ambassador Family Coordinator for my household. There were 4 of us: myself, Mary, Lenn, and Luke. Luke!? Luke!? How could that be? So many were going out WOW, how could he and I end up in the same family? But there was his name. I was excited momentarily, and then reality hit.
Luke and I couldn't be WOWs together, living in the same house. We were in love, teenage hormones raging. How could we focus on our spiritual growth and God? This couldn't be. I needed to find whoever the leadership was that would be overseeing our WOW branch for the year. His name was Drew; he was Interim Way Corps in his third-year of the four-year Way Corps Program.
I spoke with Drew, sharing that Luke and I couldn't be together; we were in love. To be in the same house together, well, it needed to be changed. Drew took it up The Way Tree, the leadership hierarchy for The Way International.
They would understand; the leadership watched out for the individual.
I prayed.
The decision came back down the Way Tree. The assignment stood; God had worked in leadership at the time of the WOW assignments. The WOW family placements were divinely inspired; God's will.
Luke and I were to stay together, in the same family, in the same house, sharing the same bathroom.
6 comments:
Oh that's so beautiful and so sad! Reading it I almost cried at the thought of you and Luke being split up to go WOW. And it hurts to see you self-sacrificing commitment to get your assignment changed.
The love of my youth and I were sent WOW to different cities as a punitive assignment specifically to separate us! The reason was told to us - and we thanked them for the intrusion and the cruelty. Maybe one day I'll really be able to write like you do.
Thanks for reading and commenting Anon.
Yes, decisions were made that were hurtful. I want to believe that most of those making the decisions believed they were doing right (ie: God's will)...like the story of Saul, later Paul, in the book of Acts as he hailed people off to prison in the name of God. That is no excuse for the damage wrought, and I realize that some folks were simply motivated by factors other than doing the will of God.
Thank you also for the statement regarding writing. It's just been this past year that I've really been able to 'come out' so to speak. And still, some remains hidden and probably writely (ha!) so....at least for now.
Silver linings with gratitude,
~cw
My parents went to the '78 Rock of Ages and went WOW that year. At least I'm pretty certain it was that year since they got married Oct. '79 shortly after their WOW commitment was over. Anyhow, they met by being assigned to the same family (they were in Tulsa, OK). Though I was hurt by some of the attitudes and beliefs of the Way, I am at least thankful my parents did it because otherwise I wouldn't be around- definitely a silver lining from my perspective;)
Hey anonymous,
Thanks for reading and for your comment.
I may have met your parents somewhere along The Way. (pun intended ;) )
Yes, there are silver linings for me too. :-) As well for my own children. Glad your parents met each other and that you are here..and it sounds like you have good relationships still with them.
If you don't mind me asking, how long was your family with The Way? I'd be interested in any parts of your story that you'd feel comfortable sharing...and I understand if you don't want to share.
Thanks again!
~Carol :-)
I've been traveling quite a bit to see friends & family this past month so it's taken me a while to respond. My parents are Tim Hillh0u$e and K@ren B0ettger and they were involved from around 1977 or so till 1986 or '87. I'm not sure of the exact dates because we avoid most religious talk these days. There were a lot of folks involved, but I'm curious if you happen to know them.
I was born in 1980 and have a few vague memories of being at large gatherings, maybe the ROA, and of going to Twig. And of course dancing to Athletes of the Spirit:) When we left The Way we joined up with an offshoot that followed Geer and that is where I was raised.
Honestly all my childhood memories are very good. It was a close knit group and was like an extended family to us. There was nothing traumatizing about it, at least from a child's perspective. They basically held onto most of the beliefs of The Way during the early 80s. So of course we never fit in with mainstream Christians. My parents group never implemented the crazy, controlling rules of Martindale's 90s era.
But, once I was in college (1999) and realized there were many different schools of thought out there I started asking questions about our beliefs and our history. Things got ugly quick and involved a lot of unpleasant confrontations between me and my parents and the group's leadership (it didn't help that I was living in a Way home headed up by the leader's daughter...). At the time my parents were shocked and very upset. They sided with their group and things were difficult between us for a long time though they did not M&A me like often happened in the main Way group. It was a very challenging time in my life, having my entire foundation ripped from under me. A bit like finding myself in the Twilight Zone- nothing being as it seemed.
In time, the relationship between me and my family healed though we are very uncomfortable discussing the past and religion. I am now married and have two young kids. Recently, my parents took my eldest child to one of their Family Advances for the first time. When they returned not only was my child excited about his experiences, I saw my former roommate for the first time in many, many years. This triggered my journey back into my past. Triggered my need to seek out answers to some of my remaining questions from my childhood. I realized there were hurts from that time period when I left their group that hadn't healed. Pain that was still buried. And I find myself needing to deal with the past in order to know how to move forward, especially as it concerns raising my own children.
So, it is because of my recent searching that I found your site. How's that for a long answer (though it is a condensed version!) to your question and for a little "Comments" field:)
Carla
Hey Carla...
Thanks for your heart-felt response.
I don't think I know your parents. Unless my memory has slipped, which it does pretty regularly.
Glad to read that your childhood memories are warm. There are good folks involved in The Way and in some of its off shoots.
Big KUDOs to you for reaching outside the bubble!! That is no small thing...as you stated: foundation is ripped out and you find yourself doubting your reality; ie: The Twilight Zone. You were raised in this and it was all you knew. I can only imagine the internal torment you went through during that time.
And...kudos to your parents for not making you M&A. So glad that doctrine didn't take hold in your parent's group. And that over the years, you and your folks are now able to communicate more peacefully...even if the subject matter is limited.
I have gotten the impression from Geer followers with whom I've communicated, that to discuss (or even mention) The Way and/or its past is taboo. And to speak what followers would deem as 'negatives' is also taboo. The Way's past would definitely be deemed a 'negative.' I (and I feel sure you) understand why folks would respond that way due to indoctrination; there are many scriptures and so-called spiritual reasons that would cause a true-believer to follow such taboo-type reasoning.
You sound like a great mom! I know it must be difficult, or at least somewhat difficult (especially in regard to your own children), as you continue to learn how to maneuver within your relationship with your parents. As far as your son's experience at the Advance...I think of my own children when they were younger (elementary and middle school age). Even as a then-Way believer, I let them attend Roman Catholic masses with friends and go to church Bible schools with friends. Then I'd ask questions when they got home, and we'd discuss what they were taught, how they felt, etc. Even though we believed Way doctrine at the time and I would bring the discussion back around to that doctrine, they at least had the other experiences first hand and had something with which to compare their Way experiences. Of course, if they were still young now and I were to do the same now, my discussion afterwards would not bring things back to Way doctrine.
I have other thoughts too, if you're interested. Some of those thoughts revolve around my experiences with my own two children (who are now almost-24 and 26 years old), my mindset as a true believer and now later, and some thoughts as far as children and indoctrination.
As far as seeking answers and looking into those crevices from your past...I think most anyone would understand your desire to do that. It can be a difficult process...but in the end, I think can also be an opportunity for health and wholeness and to discover more of life's lessons which you can pass along to your children and beyond. If you have any questions and if I can be of help in any way, you are welcome to email me at tossandripple@gmail.com.
Much peace to you...and thanks for reading and commenting... <3
~Carol
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