The following is from a blog entry initially posted on July 28.
I've brought it back up, in an abridged version, for a friend.
*****
Trust is a huge issue when leaving any type of abusive relationship, including spiritual and/or cultic abuse. One of the biggies is trust in oneself. I know that has been the case for me.
A book on my classics list is "Take Back Your Life" by Janja Lalich and Madeline Tobias.
Chapter 10 is entitled "Building a Life." At different times with various challenges, I'll refer to that chapter. Perhaps the hints and helps in that chapter would seem like common sense to most people. For folks who have been immersed in totalistic, black/white, follow-the-leader thinking the suggestions can be crucial to recovery and connecting with their identity. Some of the suggestions, I soak up like a sponge.
The chapter, and other parts of the book, address the trust issue as well. One of the helps shared in Chapter 10 is the following.
"Assertive Bill of Rights[.....] The following is a list of rights each person is entitled to in relation to self-expression:*I have the right to evaluate my own behavior, thoughts, emotions, and to take responsibility for their initiation and consequences upon myself* I have the right to decide whether I am responsible for solving other people's problems* I have the right to change my mind* I have the right to make mistakes -- and be responsible for them* I have the right to be illogical in making decisions* I have the right to say I don't know* I have the right to say I don't understand* I have the right to say I don't care* I have the right to set my own priorities* I have the right to say no without feeling guilty*note: Adapted from "A Bill of Assertive Rights," in "When I Say No I Feel Guilty" by Manuel Smith (New York, Bantam Books, 1975). "
[end quote from Chapter 10]
To sum it up...I have the right to my humanness. So does every one else.
To life and humanity!
*****
2 comments:
I agree.
Cults remove the basic right to decide. Long after I left the shepherding movement, I struggled with basic decision making. Even now, I find it hard to take the initiative.
I hear you!
I have an adage I apply at times, "Feel the fear and do it anyway." Of course, that doesn't always apply.
I think too, the Org often indoctrinates that most every decision is a 'life or death' matter or letting in devil spirits and keeping spirits out or something of a catastrophic nature. It can be paralyzing.
Yay for freedom from that mindset and being able to be human!!
Thanks again for visiting Lawrence!
Carol :-)
Post a Comment