Peeking Between the Cover

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I'm in process of transcribing another journal. Again I am transcribing it in public, on the blog where I transcribed a previous journal.

The previously transcribed journal is from over twenty years ago. The current journal I'm transcribing is from five and six years ago.

And I thought the first transcription was difficult. This second one is much closer on the chronological timeline; there is not the distance there was with the first journal.

What interest me in both these journals is the mindset of the author. That author is me. It's an odd feeling to peer into my thoughts, to transcribe, to allow other eyes to stroke the words. Though I doubt many eyes will glide across them; still the thoughts are there for the peeking.

In this current transcription I am leaving out some entries, even full weeks of entries. I'm leaving out parts of certain entries; I indicate those parts with [...].

It can be a scary thing to look into one's own mind. To look at the thought processes of who I was just five and six years ago.

I have to remind myself that it is what it is and it was what it was.

My journals were and are my processing grounds of my perceptions, of other people, of events, of piecing life together, of trying to figure out the whys and the hows and the what am I to dos. They are not essays on life in the sense of final judgments and absolutes. They are essays in the sense of a work in progress.

Works in process are filled with experiments.

"Essay." The word has an intriguing etymology. A trial, attempt, weighing out.

There is no such thing as a failed experiment.
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