Hallucinogens.
At times under their influence, I touched the face of God.
At times under their influence, I entered a dark, satanic netherworld.
All the psychedelic experiences were nothing but altered perceptions.
No supernatural spirits, good or evil, were involved.
Yet, some trips created a mystical universe where all was love.
Other trips led into an evil abyss where insanity screamed but no one could hear; muffled darkness muted the cries.
Quadriplegia.
Dad's spinal cord severed at C-4.
One would hope it was only a hallucination.
His body no longer able to communicate impulses and feeling and movement.
Muted screams.
Severed impulses.
Charlie fell off a ladder six months ago.
He suffered a C-5 sever, one vertebrae below C-4.
He is an artist.
Now he can no longer draw or paint, using his hands.
If he can make it through the first 1-1/2 to 2 years, then he can make it.
I hope he finds a purpose again.
6 comments:
Carol...I have a writer friend who ran out to the drug store to pick up a few items and was t-boned at an intersection. Her neck was broken and she was told she would be helpless the rest of her life. She didn't give up. Six years later she can write again with the help of a special computer. She recently started driving again with the help of handicap equipment.
Prayer...Patience...Hard work...and Perseverance can help one find purpose when at first they think it impossible. I would have never believed it until I witnessed it. XO
so glad to read that ur friend was able to rise and reclaim parts of her life that were prognosed as over. Yay for her!!! (understatement)
i hope charlie can do the same.
my father, now deceased, lived a full 13 years of life with quadriplegia after his wreck. my memories of his tenacity & my mother's care for him are inspiring, to say the least. :)
ty anna!
<3
Freak accidents like this remind me to never take my health and body for granted. To have the use of all my limbs, to have use of all 5 senses, to be able to breathe--I'm so grateful.
Carol, I learned about you through Anna. I too was in a cult for 7 years from 1993 to 2000. I hope we can compare notes sometime. I'm glad you're doing well.
Hey Grace...
Nice to meet you. :)
My eyes are wet with tears after reading your comment. Yes... to be able to breathe and button a button...we have much to be thankful for.
If you don't mind me asking, what group (unless you were in a one-on-one cultic situation) were you with for those 7 years?
Yay Anna! I'm thankful the cyber-waves brought Anna into my life. I recently finished reading Anna's book and feel I know her pretty well now. I hope a day comes where I get to meet all the beautiful people I've met via cyberville.
Thanks again Grace...Off to read some at your blog now.
To life!
~carol
Hi Carol, It wasn't a group, per se, well a small, informal group who followed a very influential leader who prided himself with the gift of discernment and spiritual warfare. The weird thing is that now, looking back, I can see that I was enmeshed in the very milieu that "Brock" was trying to help me get free from. He both designed my problem and how to fix it, if that makes sense. Insanity at its worst.
I have a publisher--same one as Ann's and am waiting for the edits for my memoir. I'm hoping it will be published later this spring or summer. I would love for you to read it and offer your insight. My email address is on my blog, please write if you have time.
Ann sent me a link to your piece on My Story: Recovering Fudamentalists blog. I was riveted. What an incredible journey.
Thank you for your comment on my blog. I can see what you mean about the ACT of suicide being selfish. I hadn't differentiated between the ACT and the person committing the act. Very good insight. I'll let it mull around for awhile.
I'm in awe of your resource list on your sidebar. Perusing all of the contacts could keep me busy for hours. Great stuff.
Thanks for the kind words Grace. So you found my narrative and actually read it. You deserve a ribbon or something. ;)
I perused a bit of your sharings on your blog and perused the links...great stuff. I read that you have your memoir in pages coming forth soon. I look forward to reading it...though I am a slow reader. There is so much I want to read and then life happens and the reading gets put aside. (It's not so much that I'm a slow reader, but rather I get distracted and busy and it usually takes me a while to get through a book.)
After perusing a bit on your blog I also discovered that you were with a small bible fundie group. Thanks for filling in more on toss & ripple with your comment. I'm sure we have many notes in common. (I cast out a few "devil spirits" in my day.) Those smaller groups (imo) can be worse (for lack of a better word) than the bigger groups. Everyone (or almost everyone) becomes part of the inner circle with those small groups. Glad you found your way out!
I'm adding your blog to my side bar so I can peruse at me leisure. :)
Thanks again Grace (and Anna!!!)
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