Made me laugh out loud. :D
 |
| The TrailArado, August, 2016, somewhere in VA, Hwy. 89 maybe |
"Take me home country roads..."
Except I was in Virginia, not West Virginia.
The TrailArado, August, 2016, somewhere in VA, Hwy. 89 maybe
August 19, 2016
The TrailArado - travel in style
Spied this Monday while driving a country road in southwest Virginia.
Made me laugh out loud. :D
"Take me home country roads..."
Except I was in Virginia, not West Virginia.
The TrailArado, August, 2016, somewhere in VA, Hwy. 89 maybe
Made me laugh out loud. :D
"Take me home country roads..."
Except I was in Virginia, not West Virginia.
The TrailArado, August, 2016, somewhere in VA, Hwy. 89 maybe
August 17, 2016
Holes
8/15/16
Dr. Chiropractor and I discussed my most recent epidural round which ended on August 8.
"I'm pretty sure this is the best round I've had, in spite of all the stessors. I've asked myself, 'Why? What's different this round?'
I think the iron supplement has helped. My fatigue wasn't as bad. I didn't have dizziness this round. I had less shortness of breath. Dr. Neurologist checked my iron levels last Monday; my saturation rate has gone up 4%. I'm 2% away from entering 'normal range.'"
He looked over my iron labs comparing April and August. The different things tested on the iron panel are moving in their proper directions. My chiropractor knows nutrition and physiology; that's mainly what I see him for. I seldom receive chiropractic adjustments.
I then added, "And the Charlotte's Web is still working. I also added bone broth to my morning smoothie; figure it'd be good for my bones. Another thing I thought of, as far as wondering why I think this was my best round yet?"
I paused momentarily before answering my own question, "I quit Facebook at the beginning of May."
He burst out laughing.
I chuckled. Then said, "Seriously though. I wonder how much of a difference that's made."
We chatted about the possible ill effects internet and social media might have on health.
"It wasn't a knee jerk decision. I'd thought it over for months. I actually posted on my Facebook Timeline that I was deactivating my account, that I'd be taking a sabbatical from Facebook for an undetermined amount of time. I thought long and hard about that too, whether or not to post I was leaving Facebook. It felt like the right thing to do, at least for me -- to say something and not just disappear, even though I've not been very active the past couple years. I didn't mention my health in that farewell post. Thankfully, no one else did either. I did receive a couple private messages, which was nice.
Since deactivating my account, I've logged onto Facebook a few times using Hubby's account, to check in on the kids and see what they post. And to see Son's pictures from his month-long road trip in June and July. While logged in I scrolled through Hubby's Newsfeed. I felt exhausted and depressed within 10 minutes. More confirmation to not reactivate. At least for now and maybe never.
It just drains me, all that news from people I personally know. And I feel loss as I read about people living 'normal' lives. Pictures of friends socializing and doing normal things...like cooking or holding babies. Things I physically cannot do on a regular basis. I get reminded of my losses instead of what I can still do. And I just can't handle that at this point.
I needed to create space for more energy reserves.
Maybe it worked!"
We chatted and then reviewed the lab results from another recent test series.
My insulin is good. My progesterone is good. My gluten sensitivity is negative; that's nice.
My adrenal function is not good; no surprise there. Among other things, my DHEA is "depressed," meaning with continued exposure to stressors, adrenal hormone output may continue to decrease.
I've had low DHEA since at least sometime in the '90s. I can't take DHEA as a supplement. It raises my testosterone without having a positive effect on my cortisol function; I get mean and grow (more) facial hair and get zits. Back in the early 2000s, after again trying DHEA and having the same effects as when I'd tried it in the '90s, my doc at the time then tried me on pregnenalone, a precursor for DHEA. But that didn't work either; my progesterone levels then went loopy. I tried DHEA again in 2013 (by another doctor) and got the same results - anger, more facial hair, and zits.The nice thing is, Dr. Chiropractor has a different solution other than pregnenalone or DHEA. But, we will wait until after I recover from surgery to give it a try.
My IgA level is low. My understanding is that IgA has to do with immune function responses to allergens and germs, what our bodies interpret as foreign invaders that enter through our bodies' "holes." Not pores, but rather holes -- like nostrils and mouth and those other holes. Low IgA can be a factor when folks get sick easily. However, I seldom get "sick," like with a cold or flu or allergies. (Tap on Groot.)
After my appointment, I drove from Dr. Chiropractor's office in Sparta, NC, to Fries, VA, to the southern tip of the 57-mile long New River Trail State Park. I cycled my last leg of the trail, 11.80 miles. So I completed it -- 114 miles, plus an extra leg, to make it a total of 120, I think.
I feel a sense of accomplishment. I like that feeling much better than being reminded of my losses.
***
August 8, 2016, ended my 12th epidural round since January, 2014. Whew. I'm currently in Round #13 which goes from August 8 to maybe, October 31, 2016. Since September, 2015, we've been able to reduce the medication dosage in my epidurals. I hope within a year, that I can go longer between epidurals. What if I stop needing them? Now that will be cause for great celebration.
***
Son and friends in June. Atop Mt. Elbert, CO, the highest summit of the Rocky Mountains in North America and the second highest summit in the continental USA. Son is wearing the orange jacket. After Mt. Elbert, the trio drove to northern California, Oregon, Washington, the Canadian Rockies,and then back to North Carolina. They were on the road for about 32 days.
***
Dr. Chiropractor and I discussed my most recent epidural round which ended on August 8.
"I'm pretty sure this is the best round I've had, in spite of all the stessors. I've asked myself, 'Why? What's different this round?'
I think the iron supplement has helped. My fatigue wasn't as bad. I didn't have dizziness this round. I had less shortness of breath. Dr. Neurologist checked my iron levels last Monday; my saturation rate has gone up 4%. I'm 2% away from entering 'normal range.'"
He looked over my iron labs comparing April and August. The different things tested on the iron panel are moving in their proper directions. My chiropractor knows nutrition and physiology; that's mainly what I see him for. I seldom receive chiropractic adjustments.
I then added, "And the Charlotte's Web is still working. I also added bone broth to my morning smoothie; figure it'd be good for my bones. Another thing I thought of, as far as wondering why I think this was my best round yet?"
I paused momentarily before answering my own question, "I quit Facebook at the beginning of May."
He burst out laughing.
I chuckled. Then said, "Seriously though. I wonder how much of a difference that's made."
We chatted about the possible ill effects internet and social media might have on health.
"It wasn't a knee jerk decision. I'd thought it over for months. I actually posted on my Facebook Timeline that I was deactivating my account, that I'd be taking a sabbatical from Facebook for an undetermined amount of time. I thought long and hard about that too, whether or not to post I was leaving Facebook. It felt like the right thing to do, at least for me -- to say something and not just disappear, even though I've not been very active the past couple years. I didn't mention my health in that farewell post. Thankfully, no one else did either. I did receive a couple private messages, which was nice.
Since deactivating my account, I've logged onto Facebook a few times using Hubby's account, to check in on the kids and see what they post. And to see Son's pictures from his month-long road trip in June and July. While logged in I scrolled through Hubby's Newsfeed. I felt exhausted and depressed within 10 minutes. More confirmation to not reactivate. At least for now and maybe never.
It just drains me, all that news from people I personally know. And I feel loss as I read about people living 'normal' lives. Pictures of friends socializing and doing normal things...like cooking or holding babies. Things I physically cannot do on a regular basis. I get reminded of my losses instead of what I can still do. And I just can't handle that at this point.
I needed to create space for more energy reserves.
Maybe it worked!"
We chatted and then reviewed the lab results from another recent test series.
My insulin is good. My progesterone is good. My gluten sensitivity is negative; that's nice.
My adrenal function is not good; no surprise there. Among other things, my DHEA is "depressed," meaning with continued exposure to stressors, adrenal hormone output may continue to decrease.
I've had low DHEA since at least sometime in the '90s. I can't take DHEA as a supplement. It raises my testosterone without having a positive effect on my cortisol function; I get mean and grow (more) facial hair and get zits. Back in the early 2000s, after again trying DHEA and having the same effects as when I'd tried it in the '90s, my doc at the time then tried me on pregnenalone, a precursor for DHEA. But that didn't work either; my progesterone levels then went loopy. I tried DHEA again in 2013 (by another doctor) and got the same results - anger, more facial hair, and zits.The nice thing is, Dr. Chiropractor has a different solution other than pregnenalone or DHEA. But, we will wait until after I recover from surgery to give it a try.
My IgA level is low. My understanding is that IgA has to do with immune function responses to allergens and germs, what our bodies interpret as foreign invaders that enter through our bodies' "holes." Not pores, but rather holes -- like nostrils and mouth and those other holes. Low IgA can be a factor when folks get sick easily. However, I seldom get "sick," like with a cold or flu or allergies. (Tap on Groot.)
After my appointment, I drove from Dr. Chiropractor's office in Sparta, NC, to Fries, VA, to the southern tip of the 57-mile long New River Trail State Park. I cycled my last leg of the trail, 11.80 miles. So I completed it -- 114 miles, plus an extra leg, to make it a total of 120, I think.
I feel a sense of accomplishment. I like that feeling much better than being reminded of my losses.
***
August 8, 2016, ended my 12th epidural round since January, 2014. Whew. I'm currently in Round #13 which goes from August 8 to maybe, October 31, 2016. Since September, 2015, we've been able to reduce the medication dosage in my epidurals. I hope within a year, that I can go longer between epidurals. What if I stop needing them? Now that will be cause for great celebration.
***
Son and friends in June. Atop Mt. Elbert, CO, the highest summit of the Rocky Mountains in North America and the second highest summit in the continental USA. Son is wearing the orange jacket. After Mt. Elbert, the trio drove to northern California, Oregon, Washington, the Canadian Rockies,and then back to North Carolina. They were on the road for about 32 days.
***
August 16, 2016
...Random thoughts...
..Maybe angels aren't people with wings or large creatures that fly. Maybe angels look like tiny lady bugs and it takes a whole bunch of them to move things around. I wonder why angels are always conceived with the ability to fly?...
***
...I doubt statistically that the world is any more evil now than before. But there are more people, so there is more evil. Tools have changed. Greed -- that hasn't changed. This is the way it is and always has been. There's just more of it now, because there are more people...
...Predator and prey. That is a reality. Always has been; always will be. I cannot change that. But I know there are many good people in this world who live honestly and endeavor to do the right thing. And really, that's all we can do to effect balance. But I don't think it's possible to really "change" the world...
"..more people, more scars upon the land..." Words from John Denver, Rocky Mountain High. For years when I would hear those words I'd think, "People aren't scars." And then my mind would recall the image of that ugly high rise atop Sugar Top Mountain. "That's a scar." ...
***
I've been watching mindless television lately and have completely enjoyed it -- shows and movies from the '50, 60's, 70's, and 80's.
I found myself laughing as I watched Barney Miller.
One episode.
Two episodes.
Into the third episode. Where are the women? There are no women on this show? Kind of sexist.
I found a homemade clip from one of the Johnny Carson episodes I recently watched. The first 1-1/2 minutes is about the the then-new "pocket phone." I don't know what year this aired.
***
***
...I doubt statistically that the world is any more evil now than before. But there are more people, so there is more evil. Tools have changed. Greed -- that hasn't changed. This is the way it is and always has been. There's just more of it now, because there are more people...
...Predator and prey. That is a reality. Always has been; always will be. I cannot change that. But I know there are many good people in this world who live honestly and endeavor to do the right thing. And really, that's all we can do to effect balance. But I don't think it's possible to really "change" the world...
"..more people, more scars upon the land..." Words from John Denver, Rocky Mountain High. For years when I would hear those words I'd think, "People aren't scars." And then my mind would recall the image of that ugly high rise atop Sugar Top Mountain. "That's a scar." ...
***
I've been watching mindless television lately and have completely enjoyed it -- shows and movies from the '50, 60's, 70's, and 80's.
I found myself laughing as I watched Barney Miller.
One episode.
Two episodes.
Into the third episode. Where are the women? There are no women on this show? Kind of sexist.
Women did appear as I continued to watch a few more episodes; but still there were very few female appearances.
The show kinda lost it's appeal for me after that.
In an episode of Rawhide, I heard Barbara Eden say, "...an army of genies..." I wish I could have rewound it, just to make sure my ears weren't tricking me.
I like looking at the sets; they are so simple.
I have more thoughts on these old shows from the last half of the previous century.
I guess they aren't so mindless after all.
But I've reached my composition limit, for now.
***
In an episode of Rawhide, I heard Barbara Eden say, "...an army of genies..." I wish I could have rewound it, just to make sure my ears weren't tricking me.
I like looking at the sets; they are so simple.
I have more thoughts on these old shows from the last half of the previous century.
I guess they aren't so mindless after all.
But I've reached my composition limit, for now.
***
I found a homemade clip from one of the Johnny Carson episodes I recently watched. The first 1-1/2 minutes is about the the then-new "pocket phone." I don't know what year this aired.
***
August 13, 2016
"You're not on the list..."
July 22, 2016
I sat in the examining room awaiting the surgeon. Hubby was with me. I can't recall what Hubby and I discussed as we waited. I do recall the feeling of "this is it." I had gotten my MRI on July 20, two days previously. I'd receive the results today.
Would it show any bone necrosis? And what about the titanium rod in my femur? How on earth do they remove that? That was one of my biggest fears -- the removal of that rod which is now part of my bone. And that when the surgeon opens up my hip he'd find dead bone tissue and have to amputate my leg and I'd awake from surgery an amputee. My brain can jump to the craziest scenarios.
What if the MRI is completely clear? What if surgery isn't warranted? Hell it has to be warranted, my chromium and cobalt levels have risen to monitoring range.
Where did I miss it along the way? How could this happen, the miss of these rising metal levels? I know the answers. I just wish details had not been missed along the way. But that is life. Plus, we don't know how much, if any at all, the increased metal levels are associated with my widespread nerve damage. In a phone call on July 8 the surgeon told me that folks with my kind of widespread nerve damage typically have levels 5 to 10 times higher than my current increased levels. But, still, the metals have risen to monitoring range, and that's not good. He doesn't want me to get my hopes too high -- hopes that once we get the hip out and my metal levels down that that will make much difference with nerve damage improvement. I'd been working on that, in my head.
On July 21, the day before this meeting with the surgeon, I'd mustered the gumption to call the representative insurance company for the manufacturer of the recalled hip to see if I needed a new claim number. With butterflies in my stomach, I made myself make that call. It ended up not good news, which caused more anxiety and trembling and worse-case scenario mind scenes. I just hate this shit. Having to stumble through more god-damned hoops.
I'd been having PTSD-type symptoms for weeks. Not only because rising metal levels and the surgery and thinking about how I was going to manage the nerve damage through my recovery from surgery, but from having to communicate with "authorities." It's a real sore spot for me, "authorities." Since the end of June, I'd been muddling through and managing self-blame, anger, doubt, grief, trembling, anxiety, depression and all sorts of bizarre scenarios in my head.
Dr. Surgeon entered the examining room. As was his manner at my June, 2016, and previous visits from 2008 through 2012, he was pleasant.
After greetings he sat down. "Well, your MRI results look good. There is no evident bone necrosis or tumors or fluid build-up, which is what I look for in these situations."
That was good. Metal leeching can cause all those problems. Thankfully, I hadn't developed those yet. Even though my MRI looks clear, he still recommended the surgery due to my hip-specific symptoms which I began to notice in February, 2016. And because my metal ion levels have risen to the point of needing monitoring. And I do have serious widespread nerve damage.
We discussed the surgery and the risks, and what I could expect. And that I'd still have foreign substances and metal in my body, but the new implant shouldn't leech metal. Somewhere in the course of the conversation, the surgeon stated, "We won't do anything with the titanium stem in your femur. We just replace the ball-and-socket...."
I interrupted him, almost jumping out of my chair and hugging him, "Oh my gosh! So it's easier!?!"
I felt a huge wave of relief. Huge.
He chuckled a little and with his arms and hands motioning a calm down direction he said, "Well, it's still major surgery. And there are risks. But right, we don't mess with that titanium stem. We only replace the ball-and-socket with a metal-on-ceramic-with-polyethylene implant..."
I then said, "The manufacturer is refusing to pay."
Dr. Surgeon was not happy; I could tell by his facial expression and tone of voice. "Why not?"
I handed him my letter from the manufacturer's insurance company. It's dated 10/31/2011 and states the manufacturer will pay any out-of-pocket expenses incurred for exams and treatments as a result of the voluntary recall. There is a claim number on the letter. There is no expiration date stated in the letter.
"I called the manufacturer's insurance rep yesterday, thinking I might need a new claim number since this one is from 2011. The rep told me that they never received verification that I had received one of the recalled hips. I was like, 'What?! I've got the letter right here in black and white.' She said they'd never received any medical release forms from me, that no providers had ever sent any charges toward my claim so nothing was ever verified. She said the cut-off date for settlements was November, 2015, and that it was a 7-year recall, and they were no longer paying out on the recalled hips. I asked her, 'Shouldn't I have gotten a notification or something in the mail?' She said that there was a global mailing but that I didn't receive anything because I wasn't on the list because my recall had never been verified. She said she's sending me the medical release forms in the mail and for me to sign them and send them back so my hip-implant could be verified. After the phone call, Hubby looked up who paid those bills for my rechecks on my hip in 2010, 2011, 2012 after the recall. My primary and secondary insurance covered those at 100%, so there were no out-of-pocket expenses and thus no charges were ever submitted toward my claim number."
"Well, I'm not surprised," he responded.. "I've been through similar with other patients. Surgeons aren't big on lawyers, but I suggest you get a lawyer. I will gladly work with them and provide whatever they need -- tissue samples, your old hip that we're removing. Whatever is needed."
He then explained the typical legal process and what we could probably expect in that regard.
At the end of the appointment I asked if he has a chelation protocol to help bring the metal ion levels down after we remove the leeching implant. He said no, but that the levels will come down on their own. It takes a year or two, but they do come down. He's done 50 to 100 of these revision surgeries.
The day before, I had already made an appointment for the following Tuesday, July 26, with a local lawyer who works with a larger class-action firm in these cases. I had been in touch with the local firm previously on a few different phone calls from the beginning of July, but called them on July 21 to set a face-to-face appointment after talking with the manufacturer's insurance rep earlier that morning.
The letter from the manufacturer's rep arrived on Monday, July 25, along with the medical release forms. I took them with me to the lawyer appointment on July 26.
Lawyer advised me to not sign those forms. So I didn't.
I'm to only fill out forms from their firm or the class-action firm. If I have any questions about anything, I'm to call or go by their office.
~*~
On Monday, August 8, I closed my pet-sitting business. Depending on how I'm doing, I'll reopen in latter March, 2017.
On Monday, August 8, I received my epidural, the 13th since January, 2014.
On Monday, August 8, eight years and two days from my initial surgery on August 6, 2008, I received a packet via FedEx from the class-action law firm. It contained a cover letter with instructions, a questionnaire, and medical release forms. It was hard to get started on the questionnaire, but once I started, things rolled along. It ended up a piece of cake, compared to compiling the Knapp complaint in 2010.
On Wednesday, August 10, I mailed the packet back to the law firm -- 32 pages of information. I never imagined I'd be in these type predicaments.
~*~
I sat in the examining room awaiting the surgeon. Hubby was with me. I can't recall what Hubby and I discussed as we waited. I do recall the feeling of "this is it." I had gotten my MRI on July 20, two days previously. I'd receive the results today.
Would it show any bone necrosis? And what about the titanium rod in my femur? How on earth do they remove that? That was one of my biggest fears -- the removal of that rod which is now part of my bone. And that when the surgeon opens up my hip he'd find dead bone tissue and have to amputate my leg and I'd awake from surgery an amputee. My brain can jump to the craziest scenarios.
What if the MRI is completely clear? What if surgery isn't warranted? Hell it has to be warranted, my chromium and cobalt levels have risen to monitoring range.
Where did I miss it along the way? How could this happen, the miss of these rising metal levels? I know the answers. I just wish details had not been missed along the way. But that is life. Plus, we don't know how much, if any at all, the increased metal levels are associated with my widespread nerve damage. In a phone call on July 8 the surgeon told me that folks with my kind of widespread nerve damage typically have levels 5 to 10 times higher than my current increased levels. But, still, the metals have risen to monitoring range, and that's not good. He doesn't want me to get my hopes too high -- hopes that once we get the hip out and my metal levels down that that will make much difference with nerve damage improvement. I'd been working on that, in my head.
On July 21, the day before this meeting with the surgeon, I'd mustered the gumption to call the representative insurance company for the manufacturer of the recalled hip to see if I needed a new claim number. With butterflies in my stomach, I made myself make that call. It ended up not good news, which caused more anxiety and trembling and worse-case scenario mind scenes. I just hate this shit. Having to stumble through more god-damned hoops.
I'd been having PTSD-type symptoms for weeks. Not only because rising metal levels and the surgery and thinking about how I was going to manage the nerve damage through my recovery from surgery, but from having to communicate with "authorities." It's a real sore spot for me, "authorities." Since the end of June, I'd been muddling through and managing self-blame, anger, doubt, grief, trembling, anxiety, depression and all sorts of bizarre scenarios in my head.
Dr. Surgeon entered the examining room. As was his manner at my June, 2016, and previous visits from 2008 through 2012, he was pleasant.
After greetings he sat down. "Well, your MRI results look good. There is no evident bone necrosis or tumors or fluid build-up, which is what I look for in these situations."
That was good. Metal leeching can cause all those problems. Thankfully, I hadn't developed those yet. Even though my MRI looks clear, he still recommended the surgery due to my hip-specific symptoms which I began to notice in February, 2016. And because my metal ion levels have risen to the point of needing monitoring. And I do have serious widespread nerve damage.
We discussed the surgery and the risks, and what I could expect. And that I'd still have foreign substances and metal in my body, but the new implant shouldn't leech metal. Somewhere in the course of the conversation, the surgeon stated, "We won't do anything with the titanium stem in your femur. We just replace the ball-and-socket...."
I interrupted him, almost jumping out of my chair and hugging him, "Oh my gosh! So it's easier!?!"
I felt a huge wave of relief. Huge.
He chuckled a little and with his arms and hands motioning a calm down direction he said, "Well, it's still major surgery. And there are risks. But right, we don't mess with that titanium stem. We only replace the ball-and-socket with a metal-on-ceramic-with-polyethylene implant..."
I then said, "The manufacturer is refusing to pay."
Dr. Surgeon was not happy; I could tell by his facial expression and tone of voice. "Why not?"
I handed him my letter from the manufacturer's insurance company. It's dated 10/31/2011 and states the manufacturer will pay any out-of-pocket expenses incurred for exams and treatments as a result of the voluntary recall. There is a claim number on the letter. There is no expiration date stated in the letter.
"I called the manufacturer's insurance rep yesterday, thinking I might need a new claim number since this one is from 2011. The rep told me that they never received verification that I had received one of the recalled hips. I was like, 'What?! I've got the letter right here in black and white.' She said they'd never received any medical release forms from me, that no providers had ever sent any charges toward my claim so nothing was ever verified. She said the cut-off date for settlements was November, 2015, and that it was a 7-year recall, and they were no longer paying out on the recalled hips. I asked her, 'Shouldn't I have gotten a notification or something in the mail?' She said that there was a global mailing but that I didn't receive anything because I wasn't on the list because my recall had never been verified. She said she's sending me the medical release forms in the mail and for me to sign them and send them back so my hip-implant could be verified. After the phone call, Hubby looked up who paid those bills for my rechecks on my hip in 2010, 2011, 2012 after the recall. My primary and secondary insurance covered those at 100%, so there were no out-of-pocket expenses and thus no charges were ever submitted toward my claim number."
"Well, I'm not surprised," he responded.. "I've been through similar with other patients. Surgeons aren't big on lawyers, but I suggest you get a lawyer. I will gladly work with them and provide whatever they need -- tissue samples, your old hip that we're removing. Whatever is needed."
He then explained the typical legal process and what we could probably expect in that regard.
At the end of the appointment I asked if he has a chelation protocol to help bring the metal ion levels down after we remove the leeching implant. He said no, but that the levels will come down on their own. It takes a year or two, but they do come down. He's done 50 to 100 of these revision surgeries.
The day before, I had already made an appointment for the following Tuesday, July 26, with a local lawyer who works with a larger class-action firm in these cases. I had been in touch with the local firm previously on a few different phone calls from the beginning of July, but called them on July 21 to set a face-to-face appointment after talking with the manufacturer's insurance rep earlier that morning.
The letter from the manufacturer's rep arrived on Monday, July 25, along with the medical release forms. I took them with me to the lawyer appointment on July 26.
Lawyer advised me to not sign those forms. So I didn't.
I'm to only fill out forms from their firm or the class-action firm. If I have any questions about anything, I'm to call or go by their office.
~*~
On Monday, August 8, I closed my pet-sitting business. Depending on how I'm doing, I'll reopen in latter March, 2017.
On Monday, August 8, I received my epidural, the 13th since January, 2014.
On Monday, August 8, eight years and two days from my initial surgery on August 6, 2008, I received a packet via FedEx from the class-action law firm. It contained a cover letter with instructions, a questionnaire, and medical release forms. It was hard to get started on the questionnaire, but once I started, things rolled along. It ended up a piece of cake, compared to compiling the Knapp complaint in 2010.
On Wednesday, August 10, I mailed the packet back to the law firm -- 32 pages of information. I never imagined I'd be in these type predicaments.
~*~
August 12, 2016
Poetry needs no explanation...
What to write? Do I post it?
Deer sightings have been regular lately, at significant times.
But then, aren't all times significant?
~*~
Hubby and I saw the deer family in the back yard this morning -- one of the adults and the two fawns. At times there have been two adults with the fawns. The fawns have grown the past few weeks. Their spots are less bright now. It's been fun to watch them frolic.
At the top of my recent deer-sighting-significances is a teenage deer, of whom I had the pleasure of her or his momentary company last week as she cantered beside me, to my right about three feet over and two feet in front. I was cycling on the paved part of the Greenway; she ran in the green grass.
Her cantering company probably lasted only 7 seconds, but it felt like 3 minutes. I like how time slows down in those moments. She then disappeared into the woods on the right side. As I cycled by where she had just entered the woods, I glanced into the woods over my right shoulder. There she was, peering out between brush and branch, her ears perked. Our eyes met momentarily and I felt she was saying, "We're with you. We're watching out."
Earlier that Friday afternoon, I had finally spoken with the representative of the class-action law firm which will determine if my revision hip-recall surgery case is settlement-worthy. I say "finally," because we had previously, over the last couple weeks, connected only via voice mail. I felt "heard" after our voices finally connected in real time. Regardless of any possible future settlement, my surgery is a "go" and is set for August 31, less than three weeks away.
Oh...I just remembered -- along with the communion with the teenage deer at the Greenway that late afternoon, I had another significant sighting at the moment right before I heard the law firm representative's actual live voice through my cell phone. The deer family in the back yard appeared at that moment. Two fawns and a momma....
...
....
.....
~*~
And already, I'm burnt out on what I thought I was going to type....
Why do I do that? Burn out so quickly?
It seems to happen regularly these days.
Perhaps it's due to low energy and thus low creativity?
Or perhaps...I don't like typing all the details because it tires me out because I'd rather type metaphorically, or at least with less explanation?
Perhaps I'm just lazy.
Or perhaps, when I add details, I feel I'm entering the territory of trying to "explain" myself.
But, is that really so?
Am I trying to explain myself, to explain the motives behind my actions or thinking?
Deer sightings have been regular lately, at significant times.
But then, aren't all times significant?
~*~
Hubby and I saw the deer family in the back yard this morning -- one of the adults and the two fawns. At times there have been two adults with the fawns. The fawns have grown the past few weeks. Their spots are less bright now. It's been fun to watch them frolic.
At the top of my recent deer-sighting-significances is a teenage deer, of whom I had the pleasure of her or his momentary company last week as she cantered beside me, to my right about three feet over and two feet in front. I was cycling on the paved part of the Greenway; she ran in the green grass.
Her cantering company probably lasted only 7 seconds, but it felt like 3 minutes. I like how time slows down in those moments. She then disappeared into the woods on the right side. As I cycled by where she had just entered the woods, I glanced into the woods over my right shoulder. There she was, peering out between brush and branch, her ears perked. Our eyes met momentarily and I felt she was saying, "We're with you. We're watching out."
Earlier that Friday afternoon, I had finally spoken with the representative of the class-action law firm which will determine if my revision hip-recall surgery case is settlement-worthy. I say "finally," because we had previously, over the last couple weeks, connected only via voice mail. I felt "heard" after our voices finally connected in real time. Regardless of any possible future settlement, my surgery is a "go" and is set for August 31, less than three weeks away.
Oh...I just remembered -- along with the communion with the teenage deer at the Greenway that late afternoon, I had another significant sighting at the moment right before I heard the law firm representative's actual live voice through my cell phone. The deer family in the back yard appeared at that moment. Two fawns and a momma....
...
....
.....
~*~
And already, I'm burnt out on what I thought I was going to type....
Why do I do that? Burn out so quickly?
It seems to happen regularly these days.
Perhaps it's due to low energy and thus low creativity?
Or perhaps...I don't like typing all the details because it tires me out because I'd rather type metaphorically, or at least with less explanation?
Perhaps I'm just lazy.
Or perhaps, when I add details, I feel I'm entering the territory of trying to "explain" myself.
But, is that really so?
Am I trying to explain myself, to explain the motives behind my actions or thinking?
Or am I simply trying to make things clearer for the reader?
Which could mean I'm writing for the reader, instead of writing for writing's sake; instead of writing for art's sake; instead of writing for me, for Carol's sake.
And maybe that's what tires me.
I think it's true that I want to write less for others and write more for me.
I think instead of writing to be understood, I would rather write to express.
Of course, I do simply write and then go back and fill in details.
But I can't say I generally enjoy that process.
Except when it comes to poetry.
I seem to enjoy that honing process more with poetry.
Perhaps because poetry needs no explanation.
Which could mean I'm writing for the reader, instead of writing for writing's sake; instead of writing for art's sake; instead of writing for me, for Carol's sake.
And maybe that's what tires me.
I think it's true that I want to write less for others and write more for me.
I think instead of writing to be understood, I would rather write to express.
Of course, I do simply write and then go back and fill in details.
But I can't say I generally enjoy that process.
Except when it comes to poetry.
I seem to enjoy that honing process more with poetry.
Perhaps because poetry needs no explanation.