I copy and paste the following from another blog, one I keep with the goal of writing some memoirs. I wrote the following on May 7. It is more a stream of consciousness type writing, and that's o.k.
Here goes; I'm gonna click "publish post."
An added thought regarding crusades: "Do You Hear the People Sing"
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This isn't a memoir. It's more of a journal entry.
I am now 50 years of age. In some ways I still feel like an adolescent. Don't people my age know by now their political stance and their religious stance? Those are the only two categories I can think of. Why?
Why are those categories so important? Is it because they have shaped so much of history? Have they? What other factors come into play?
What of the relationship stance, the family stance, the spiritual stance, the morality stance, the psychology stance, the science stance? Do I have opinions on those issues? I do, more so than religion and politics. But why do I get such fog in my mind regarding politics and religion? Is it because of their complexity, or is it because they are so divided? I much prefer harmony over division.
Let me take one issue: the gay issue. Does it really bother me that Henry and Paul are lovers?
No, not in their private lives. But yet it would bother me to see them holding hands in public.
Yet, if two male friends embrace, I don't think much of it. It is a greeting betwixt friends. Why would the holding of hands bother me? It must be a cultural bias.
I listed religious and spiritual as two separate stances. Perhaps by "religious" I really mean dogmatic crusades. Maybe that is what turns me off: crusades.
Yet, when I write that I have a whispering thought, Nothing would ever get accomplished on a large level if not for a crusade.
Yet, the other issues also have division. Perhaps in my mind the other issues are not as divided; there is an intuitive sense regarding relationships, family, and morals. However science, spirituality, and psychology have divisions galore.
Crusades and I don't get along anymore. I tried to be a crusader for God. I don't know; I just get confused.
My next thought is to write Carol, write. Even if it doesn't make sense, write.
O.K.
When I connect with my heart by focusing in the area of my physical heart and asking, What do I feel? ....there is an intuitive sense of knowing. I don't have to prove anything to anyone. I can simply be in the moment without being forced into a decision, which is an opinion.
Also, I can change my mind on matters. It's o.k. if I am a fence sitter. So what? Perhaps if the world had more fence sitters, we would have more peace.
Work would still get done: crops planted, people fed, people clothed, music played, poems and essays written, houses built, animals tended, lovers loved, stories lived and passed along, etc. That is life.
I've heard it said that necessity is the mother of invention. Perhaps emotional necessity is the mother of belief systems. That is much too simplistic.
But maybe I'm grasping an element of unraveling the ball of yarn.
A ball of yarn
rainbow cords
each color a season
of life
All wound up into
one big orb
hiding the central
core
It takes time
to unwind
to lay straight
to notice the patterns
of colors
What lies at the center?
Only the other end.
And I was hoping for a
revelation
Sigh
Ahh...perhaps that is
the revelation
The progress of
grasping that the end
and the beginning
look the same
That the discovery
is in the
unraveling
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