Complaint Overview

[I originally posted the complaint below, and the accompanying links, around August 21, 2011. At the time when I originally posted, I chose to redact Knapp's name and the specific dates. I originally posted the complaint here: the page where I originally posted it. I changed the content of that page in October, 2016.]
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Update: On January 14, 2014, New York state determined its ruling regarding the NY state license of John M. Knapp (identified as "practitioner" in my complaint below).

John M. Knapp was
"...Found guilty of professional misconduct; Penalty: Revocation...Licensee was found guilty of practicing his profession with negligence, as well as with incompetence, on more than one occasion, and of unprofessional conduct."
See January, 2014 Summaries of Regents Actions on Professional Misconduct and Discipline



Click the following links for what constitutes "professional misconduct" and "unprofessional conduct."
Professional Misconduct
Unprofessional Conduct
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Click here for helpful information in regard to When You Need to File a Complaint Against a Mental Health Care Provider or Facility. 

This link lists ethical standards for Social Workers: Code of Ethics of the National Association of Social Workers

This link outlines a working ethical framework regarding professional online mental health therapy and therapists' participation in social media & networking: Ethical Framework for the Use of Social Media by Mental Health Professionals

(Note: For the purpose of posting the complaint transcription on this blog, I excluded names, identifying information, specific dates, and one piece of personal information regarding the practitioner.)
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Formal Complaint Overview

September 3, ***0

Filed by **************

phone: ***-***-****

(I realize I may have included too much information, but I wasn't sure what and what not to include.)

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I am filing a complaint regarding [practitioner], in the following three categories which are listed on the Mental Health Association of New York, Inc., website. These categories are stated under "Complaints About Care by Practitioners" at this link, When You Need to File A Complaint Against A Mental Health Care Provider or Facility.

The categories are:

• Overstepping the boundaries of the professional relationship
• Negligence
• [...] verbal abuse of a client

I. Overstepping the Boundaries of the Professional Relationship

Relationships Overview (I expound on certain of these relationships, and supply emails, in the corresponding papers enclosed with this complaint packet.):
Following is an overview of my various relationships with [practitioner] and their development. Not all of these are overstepping boundaries and I considered all of them healthy at the time. I would still probably consider them so, except (in hindsight) for the way that (imo) they opened the door for the relationship to end as it did with my ex-therapist's ([practitioner's]) verbal abuse and negligence.
With each new relationship (except for #8 below), [practitioner] and I discussed it ahead of time (and at times throughout the relationships) and that they were not outside ethical boundaries. I also want to say that [practitioner] was excellent while our relationship was client-therapist. It was once the boundaries got blurred, which (imo) probably began with #6 below, that (in hindsight) things began to go awry.

• 1 - I hire [practitioner] as my therapist around July, ***8. I had previous counseling since [8 years previous] with two other mental health care providers, with whom I have good relationships. I chose to hire [practitioner] because of his speciality with cult-recovery, which includes spirtiual, psychological, and emotional abuse. [Practitioner] and my appointments/communications were via phone and (later) Skype. Emails were also utilized.

• 2 - I join [practitioner's] online support group, as a client. This was sometime around September, ***8. The online chatroom later changed from being an online chat to a group conference phone call which was held on Monday nights. I was a beginning and core member until [practitioner] abruptly cut off contact with me on August 2, ***0.

• 3 - I hire [practitioner] as my life coach sometime after my "gradutation" in September, ***9. [Practitioner] and I considered me "graduated" from regular therapy in September, ***9. At some point after that I hired [practitioner] as a life coach; that was different than me being a therapy client, though some of my life coaching sessions ended up as therapy sessions. After I "graduated," I would state that [practitioner] was my "previous" therapist; however, the reality was that I was still getting therapy as I would hire him as needed for regular counseling but wanted to consider myself still "graduated." I discussed this with [practitioner] comparing it to hiring any other professional with an expertise. Say like a plumber. The plumbing gets fixed but from time to time still needs some work. So I continued to be "graduated from therapy." If anyone inquired, I stated that I was a "previous client."

• 4 - [Practitioner] and I are "friends." [Practitioner] referred/refers(?) to the members of the support group, and at least some of his clients, as his "friends." This was/is normal practice for [practitioner], from my observation. [Practitioner] and I discussed, at various times, that [practitioner's] self-disclosure (and friendship) had its place, as long as that didn't put his clients in a position where they felt a duty to meet his emotional needs or that his needs were put above the clients. I agreed with him.

• 5 - [Practitioner] refers to me as a "colleague." This probably began sometime after September, ***9, but this may have happened before I "graduated" (which I don't think in hindsight was graduation, as stated above.) I had become active on the web with my personal blogs and speaking out regarding cults, abusive relationships, my own story, and [the cult I had been with]. [Practitioner] had told me that he "thinks of me more as a colleague than a client." [...] [Practitioner] referred to me as an "activist" regarding cults and toxic groups though I didn't feel I was really an activist. I did end up adopting the title calling myself a "lay activist." At some point in ***0, [practitioner] and I discussed me possibly becoming a type of facilitator for his Monday night phone-support group. After some thought, I declined and decided I wanted to remain simply a participant.

• 6 - I volunteer to be a Moderator on [practitioner's] online discussion board. In January, ***0, [practitioner] started a private (by invitation only) Activist Forum for people in cult education and recovery on his online discussion board. That online discussion board web address used to be [...] . [Practitioner] personally invited the first members. After some weeks, on March 1, I volunteered along with another member to act as a moderator on [practitioner's] board. (For my concern about my client-therapist-colleague relationship with [practitioner], please see the enclosed "Conflict of Interest concern with [practitioner] as lifecoach/therapist.")

• 7 - [Practitioner] approaches me regarding a non-profit project he is thinking about forming. I volunteer (which later would include low financial compensation) to help. [Practitioner] thought I would make a good editor-in-chief for a non-profit organization regarding cult-recovery that he was thinking of forming. This would be separate from his online discussion board, though the online discussion board would be a component of the non-profit. At least that was my understanding. I have no experience or credentials to act as an editor-in-chief, which I expressed to him. He thought I would be good at it and explained part of what my role would entail: soliciting articles, giving [practitioner] deadlines so he is accountable to someone, coming up with creative ideas for the project, doing my own writing, and I don't recall what else. I thought it over a few weeks, discussing it some with [practitioner], and decided that I would like to give it a try though the position did cause me some anxiety, which [practitioner] and I discussed throughout the summer. [Practitioner] approached me with the idea sometime in early May. I think I accepted sometime in late May, but it may have been some time in June. We continued to discuss the idea through June, including me sharing my personal self-doubt and lack of confidence in the position. The non-profit remained only in the formulating stages during my and [practitioner's] relationship.(See the enclosed "May, ***0: [Practitioner] shares idea about an organization..." to see when he first brought up the idea.)

• 8 - I support [practitioner] through one of his mental health episodes. I refer to this as a role reversal. [Practitioner] and my client-theapist-colleague friendship ended up in a role reversal in June, ***0, when [practitioner] put out a call for emotional help and support via an email to me and the other Co-Administrator of the discussion board (who was never a client). I responded to [practitioner's] call for help, offering [practitioner] my ear to listen and simply be with him, if he needed it, stating at that point, "In fact, for the moment, I am no longer your client...but rather a friend." He responded with an email in which he disclosed his deepest problems, including [certain diagnosis]. At that point I felt I had "lost my therapist" and I felt I needed to protect him and not reveal to anyone what he had shared with me. (He never stated to not reveal it. I had told him though that I would keep what he shared in confidence. I never told anyone about what [practitioner] shared until after [practitioner's] verbal and emotional abuse in August.) (Please see the enclosed overview, with attached emails, entitled "Role Reversal, June, ***0.")

• 9- I become a Co-Administrator and Creative Director of the online discussion board. This position (though at the time separate from the non-profit mentioned in #7) was like a springboard into the position for the non-profit organization that [practitioner] was still in the process of formulating. The Co-Admin and Creative Director positions held the same responsibilities included in #7 above. I also included promoting the Activist Forum. I was appointed and volunteered for this position in July, ***0 (though I was still uncomfortable, which I discussed with [practitioner], but determined that I wanted to continue so as to overcome some emotional issues and triggers I still dealt with). This position also included sending a weekly email to all members of the private Activist Forum to let them know what topics were being posted, and inviting input. I was also starting to write members to solicit articles. (I only got one of those solicitation emails sent.) Again I was nervous about this position and [practitioner] and I discussed my anxiety regarding it a few times, the last time being Tuesday, July 27, ***0, less than one week before [practitioner's] final emails to me (#II below). (Regarding my distress, please see the enclosed overview with attached emails entitled "Distress, July, ***0.")

II: Verbal Abuse of Client

Overview (I expound on this, and supply emails, in the corresponding papers enclosed with this complaint packet.): This happened via emails on Monday, August 2, ***0. It did not happen in a therapeutic session, but in my role as Creative Director and Co-Administrator of [practitioner's] online board.

[Practitioner] sent me two emails accusing me of not standing up for him in a **conflict he had with the other Co-Administrator; of name calling, of destroying my and [practitioner's] friendship, of me being non-compassionate regarding [practitioner's] distress, of me stating that [practitioner] is in it for the money, of not respecting [practitioner's] boundaries, of making everything some sort of perfectionistic test for [practitioner], of suggesting that [practitioner's] irritation/anger means something is wrong with that, of playing a charade, of reading into his words, of focusing on his challenges and faults, of having no concern for the effect the conflict was having on him, and of placating the Co-Admin with whom [practitioner] had the conflict. [Practitioner] stated he'd find it hard to trust me again on any level and he cut off communication with me which included blocking me from Skype, his email, and his 800 number. (For an overview of these exchanges with emails, see the enclosed overview "My Individual Email Exchanges with [practitioner] After the Ultimatum Email, August 2, ***0.")

As far as I know, the only accusation of which I am guilty is the one about me not standing up for [practitioner] during the conflict with the other Co-Admin. I chose to not get between the two of them in their personal conflict, though I would comment on emails addressed to me and gave my input and vote regarding the initial discussion about some wording on the forum. The one accusation about me not respecting boundaries may also apply, in that I sent [practitioner] a four-sentence email (due to previous email miscommuication between the three parties) after he stated he wanted no contact. (For further explanation regarding the boundaries accusation, please see second page of the enclosed "My Individual Email Exchanges with [practitioner] After the Ultimatum Email, August 2, ***0.")

[Practitioner] used four of my deepest vulnerabilities against me. Those are self-blame, self-distrust, fear of abandonment, and intimidation when relating with certain authority figures. Not to mention other issues I have worked to overcome, which include low self-worth, shame, and thinking I am unintelligent.

As far as my "client" status: My last paid personal session with [practitioner] was the end of June. That session was listed as a coaching session. I paid for the Monday night phone support group sessions through the end of June. Though I continued with the support group and had some times in July when I needed [practitioner's] counsel, I did not pay for any group sessions or one-on-one time with [practitioner] in July. We had at some point previously discussed bartering; ie: my volunteer time on the online board and non-profit project could be exchanged for therapy/life-coaching sessions and/or the support group. To my understanding, that was never officially implemented. Our personal meetings in July were considered as [practitioner] being my friend who happened to be a therapist. He also shared some of his needs (as friends do) with me.
So it may be that from July on, I was not technically an individual client. [And as stated above, after September, ***9, we (or at least I) most often referred to me as a "previous client."]

Through July, I still continued as a client in the support group, though I was non-pay in July.

(I can provide Paypal records if needed.)

** For an overview of the conflict, with emails, see the enclosed, "The Online Conflict Between [practitioner] & the Other Online Board Co-Administrator, July 27 - August 1, ***0.")


III: Negligence

I feel negligence happened when I endeavored to communicate with [practitioner] (in hopes our relationship hadn't been marred) regarding the misunderstanding/conflict that happened between he and the other Co-Adminstrator on the online discussion board. (For an overview of these exchanges with emails, see the enclosed "My Individual Email Exchanges with [practitioner] After the Ultimatum Email, August 2, ***0.")

[Practitioner's] response to my attempt was to blame and accuse me, intentionally or unintentionally using my deepest vulnerabilities against me (of which he was fully aware as my therapist), and to cut off communication with me. (Again see, "My Individual Email Exchanges with [practitioner] After the Ultimatum Email, August 2, ***0.")

On August 3, ***0, the day after he cut off communication with me, he called me and left a message on my home voice mail stating that his assistant told him that I had contacted her and wanted to talk to [practitioner]. [Practitioner] also stated that he felt he was emotionally able to talk at that point and that I could call him on his cell if I wanted to talk. (note: I never contacted his assistant.)

I was out of town that day (August 3) and got the message when I arrived home after 2:00 AM on August 4. 

On August 4, around 10:00 AM, I called [practitioner's] cell phone and got his voice mail. I left a message in which I told him that I never contacted his assitant. I stated that the only thing his assistant may have gotten from me was when I sent a payment of $70 on August 2 to [practitioner's] Paypal account in order to clear my balance due and that I had included a note, with my Paypal payment, that if it wasn't correct to let me know. At that point (in leaving my voice mail on [practitioner's] cell) I got a little choked up (with tears) and stated that if he wanted to talk, I was open to that and that it'd be nice to end on a more positive note.

I never heard back.

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My Emotional Responses To and Since the Incidents

My initial response to [practitioner's] final emails were fright and then numbness; I simply went numb. It all felt like a bad dream. Within a few hours I was devasated; confused; doubting my reality, my integrity and my motives; and feeling I was totally at fault. I had to take the next day off work.

On August 4, when I heard [practitioner's] voice mail that he had left on August 3, I felt I would have to somehow prove to [practitioner] that I had never contacted his assistant, that he might think I was or accuse me of lying.

I had anxiety regarding calling [practitioner] back; I feared verbal attack or that information would be twisted or that I would simply agree with whatever [practitioner] stated that I had done wrong, though I still didn't really understand what I had done wrong. I also felt [practitioner] might expect me to apologize, and I still wasn't sure what I had done wrong so I wouldn't know what to apologize for. All that was mixed with a feeling that maybe we could have a better closure to our relationship, and perhaps even work things out.

In spite of my anxiety, I called [practitioner] back and got his voice mail. I left the message as stated above in #III. When [practitioner] never got back with me, I felt like a non-person, or like the calls never happened, or like I was making things up (which I wasn't).

I have experienced the following in varying degrees since the trauma. The following list is reprinted from How Therapists Abuse Their Clients.

• Complete devastation and despair (feeling like Munch's The Scream - see http://www.ivcc.edu/rambo/eng1001/munch.htm)
• Self blame and feelings of failure, guilt and confusion
• Loss of self-confidence and self-esteem [...]
• Withdrawal and inability to talk about the abuse; and feeling also that no one understands
• Doubting your own perceptions and reality
• Emotional detachment or "shutting down" (leading among other things to loss of empathy and lack of emotional response within oneself)
• Intrusive negative rumination/intrusive negative thoughts/flashbacks

In addition to the list above, I have experienced a sense of loss; wanting to forget and pretend my past never happened; grief; feeling I was crazy and making things up or had done things that I didn't do; feelings that I am unintelligent, childish, and stupid; wanting to disappear or become obscure; depression; anxiety; bad dreams; and some episodes of anger. I have also had to take more Xanax than I've needed all year previously and have had physical somaticizing symptoms which include lung and back pain. I started back on Paxil in September.

After [practitioner] cut off communication with me, I hired my local pyschologist to get his viewpoint of the situation and to help repair the harm wrought. He also has read emails, some of which I have not included with this complaint packet. You may contact him here: [psychologist name and phone number].

I have also seen my medical doctor, [MD's name and phone number].

I accept my responsibility in taking on the various relationships with [practitioner] and the positions for which I volunteered and for all my actions/inactions and mistakes related to those positions, relationships, and the fall out afterward. I never imagined the situation would end as it did, and I doubt [practitioner] did either.

Because of the manner in which [practitioner] cut off communication with me, I feel the only reasonable recourse I have is to file a complaint with the hopes that [practitioner] realizes the deep and agonizing emotional trauma and harm this entire situation has had on my life and that another client-turned-colleague/friend will never again endure such.

Thank you,

[client signature]

September, ***0

cc: [psychologist]

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