I shall rise... two, too, to...

I am fed up with American medical hoop jumping.

I combed my mind this past week:
What is it Carol? What are you doing incorrectly that has you feeling beaten by the system? Where did you veer off the course of self-empowerment? What are you afraid of?

I've not been an advocate for me. I have given too much authority and power to the American medical system without listening to my own heart and body.

As I sat in my chiropractor's office on Wednesday, I stated: "They aren't practicing medicine or healing. They are practicing technology."

I've been passed from one test to another. All tests are for the most part "normal," except I am now developing carpal tunnel in my left wrist.

But, but, but....here I sit with the same symptoms in all my limbs for two years with no answers.

As of 1-1/2 weeks ago, my primary care doctor has denied the one medication I know that helps curb the symptoms to give me respite for the next leg of this struggle. That medication is low dose prednisone; I know it well and I know the side effects well...so does my body. All I asked for was relief so I could continue to search for answers.

Instead, the doctor prescribed Xanax so I can sleep. It gives no relief to my physical symptoms which are at the core of every other symptom I am now experiencing.

As I examined what I have done incorrectly that has left me feeling mired within American medical politics passing me off from one doc to the next, from one test to the next, I realized that the system's opinions are based mostly on tests. If the test states, "you don't have this problem" ... then the test trumps. The patient has been reduced to numbers on a sheet.

I call bullshit.

Example:
In the summer of 2011 when I could barely walk or use any of my limbs or hands, an ultrasound was ordered for my abdomen. Why? If memory serves me correctly, it was ordered because all other tests were coming back normal; I was healthy. Except that I was lame.
The results of the ultrasound? Gallbladder disease.
But, I had no gall bladder symptoms.
That didn't matter.
The GP's office set an appointment for me with a gallbladder doctor.
A few weeks later I get a phone call from Dr. Gallbladder's office confirming my upcoming appointment.
The conversation went something like this:
Dr. G: "Hi Mrs. Welch. This is Dr. Gallbladder's office confirming your upcoming appointment."
Me: "Yes, I have it on my calendar."
Pause
Me: "I have a question. What exactly will be done at this appointment?"
Dr. G: "Well it is a pre-op appointment to have your gallbladder removed."
Me: "What?!?"
Dr. G: "Your GP's office made the appointment because you show signs of gallbladder disease."
Me: "No. A test showed I have signs of gallbladder disease. I have no symptoms."
Dr. G: "You have not symptoms?!?"
Me: "Correct. None."
Dr. G: "Well, you don't need this appointment then. We'll just cancel it."
Me: "Thank you."

I brought this scenario up later with my GP. Her response was that the test shows I have this problem and that she wouldn't want me out on the trail and my gall bladder all of sudden gives me trouble. I responded that I'd cross that bridge if it ever happens.

To this day, two years later, I still have no symptoms of gallbladder disease.

Perhaps my gallbladder is riddled with poison and will explode any day, but I'll opt to wait it out.

I do have symptoms of peripheral neuropathy (PN), but all the tests (so far) say I'm healthy. I'm learning that I'm not unusual in that category; others have been down a similar path. And there are tests I haven't had yet.

After googling PN and terbinafine (the drug that has caused all this suffering) I found that the FDA has at least 32 cases on file of terbinafine causing PN.

I now think I never had serum sickness. I think I was misdiagnosed. I should have gone to a neurologist from the beginning. Medications are one of the main causes of PN.

Could I be wrong? Sure. But, until someone can give me evidence and a clear diagnosis, I think I am correct. I don't blame the docs for the misdiagnosis. I do blame the system. (Actually I don't solely "blame the system." The system is partly driven by the public. I am part of that public. There is plenty of blame to go around. Pointing out blame doesn't help; taking responsibility is what helps. In the scenario in which I currently find myself, I think my biggest error was that I was not bold enough regarding what I know about my own body. I am responsible to speak up and even to agree to disagree and find another practitioner if necessary.)

I saw an acupuncturist on April 24. I'm hopeful that I see results. I googled drug-induced PN and acupuncture. Some have gotten relief and have even gotten better. Maybe, just maybe.

This all reminds me of Audubon's quote, something like: "When the bird and the book disagree, believe the bird."

The Phoenix is a bird. I too shall rise.




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ADDED NOTE, 4/28/13: Since writing this blog piece on 4/26, I have collected hard copies of tests results from 2011. The ultrasound result from July, 2011, regarding my gallbladder states: cholelithiasis. Translated to lay terms: gallstones. It may be that my GP's office told me this at the time and I looked up gallstones; I cannot recall now and in July, 2011, I was exhausted and simply trying to function every day. Surgery is not recommended for "silent gallstones." Had I opted to see the gallbladder surgeon, I imagine (and hope) the gallbladder surgeon would have concluded that surgery was not necessary.
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