Far-middle

Awoke with a headache, now four hours on.

But still thinking about a blog post to hash out thoughts regarding the ongoing dialogue in my head - white privilege, Antifa, Black Lives Matter, alt-right, alt-left, white supremacy...fence-sitting, milquetoast.

A few weeks ago - during the week after Charlottesville - I thought that maybe I'm milktoast, which I later learned is spelled "milquetoast." Why the hell is that? "Milktoast" brought to my mind a picture of toast dipped too long in milk. Soggy. Limp. Falls apart. Plop. So why not just spell it "milktoast?" (I just looked it up. Here's a link to the etymology of milquetoast. The word comes from a cartoon character from the 1920s, Caspar Milquetoast.)

My thoughts went something like this...
Carol you're such a fence-sitter. Get some backbone. You're milktoast. 
Stop that. You are not always a fence-sitter. And you do have some backbone. It took guts to report John Knapp and speak up. That's not milktoast.
But with politics, it's so complicated. I feel so stupid. How can I intelligently discuss this stuff?
What's true and not true?
I feel I have to take sides.
Remember Janja Lalich's book? She writes about fence-sitters. Maybe she doesn't use that word, but she writes something about fence-sitting maybe not being such a bad thing...at least in certain contexts. 
Maybe we need more fence-sitters. But then how would anything ever get accomplished? 
I do take a side against violence. 
I'm not a fence-sitter on that, or Nazism, or extremism. I don't support those things.
But at what point would I resort to violence? Or would I just surrender? 
In the end, if one side lays down their arms and ends up dead...in the end meaning years and maybe decades away, would the victorious side self-destruct? And then would the underdog of peace rise to the top?
What a naive and childish thought. History repeats itself over and over.
John Lennon sang "you may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one." 
Maybe we need a middle movement. We have far-right and far-left. Maybe we need a far-middle. 

A week later, on 8/22/17, this piece was published by David Brooks in the New York Times, What Moderates Believe. He used the word "milquetoast," and that's when I learned its proper spelling.

Brooks had published a piece the week before which, to me, was a precursor to the 8/22/17 article. How to Roll Back Fanaticism

Both articles were validating for me. In both articles, Brooks shares the benefit and power of moderation. He terms it "assertive modesty."

I like David Brooks. I was introduced to him in the last couple years via watching the PBS Newshour where he is a political commentator. That led me to read his opinion pieces in the Times. I've read some of his critics - right wing says that he is left even though he is listed as conservative, and the left say that he is more right than left. I've read a little about his past and where he comes from. I've never read any of his books.

This morning I read this article in The Atlantic, How to Distinguish Between Antifa, White Supremacists, and Black Lives Matter, written by Conor Friedersdorf. It too is validating. I'm not familiar with Friedersdorf. But I like reading The Atlantic.

Both Brooks and Friedersorf put into words some of my thoughts better than I. Thoughts I've had about these different movements and where am I in all of this.

That's all I feel like writing now.