Beginning in 1981 at the age of 22, I developed asthma and hives and sinus polyps along with other symptoms of an overresponsive immune system.
I saw various kinds of doctors - ear, nose and throat; internal medicine, allergists, respiratory, wholistic - across various states where I lived at the time: Ohio, Indiana, and Kansas; places I lived while in The Way Corps, The Way's elite training program. The Corps standard was "It Is Written." Dr. Wierwille stated we were "God's crack troops;" we were "Corps." He called us "his kids."
But, in 1983, I fled my Way Corps assignment in AWOL fashion. And it wasn't my first time. I'd been in the Corps previously and AWOLed then too, in 1980. I felt ashamed enough in 1980, and then my immune system went bonkers in 1981.
The Way teaches that, biblically, the number two means something is established. By leaving the Corps two times, I established that I was unfaithful, a Judas, a wart on the body of Christ, an embarrassment to God and myself and the Household of believers. One of the Corps Coordinator's announced at Way Headquarters that I wasn't worth the dime for a phone call. I felt I wasn't worth a penny.
When I left that 2nd time in 1983, I came back to my hometown, back to my parents' home. Dad had been in a head-on automobile collision three months before I AWOLed the 2nd time. He was rendered a quadriplegic for the rest of his 12-1/2 years of life. I came home to help care for him. But his condition was not why I left The Way Corps.
I continued seeing doctors once back in North Carolina. I had three surgeries three years in a row: 1984, '85, and '86. And then another one in 1996. Sinus polypectomies. I always waited until I couldn't stand it anymore. "It" being the complete inability to breathe in or out though my nose. I'd live that way for months until I just couldn't. At the same time I lived with severe asthma and hives, fatigue, brain fog, overall body pains, mood swings, and the fact that I'd committed a horrible sin, though I had gone back to The Way and was told I was forgiven. But inside I felt defective; the thick mucous confirmed just what a snot I was.
In 1985/86, I found three practitioners who were able to bring relief: an integrative medical doctor, a naturopath, and a chiropractor. By 1987 they agreed I was well enough to become pregnant. My husband and I wanted to start a family. We'd gotten married in 1984. But pregnancy was not kind to me exacerbating my symptoms at pregnancy's onset; the emergency room staff at the local hospital got used to seeing me. Symptoms worsened after giving birth to our first child; I was hospitalized for five(?) days with asthma when our baby girl was six weeks old.
That was chronic illness life Number One. It lasted until around 2005, 24 years, though the asthma and polyps all but disappeared beginning in 1999 after discovering I had extremely high levels of mercury.
The mercury was first discovered in October 1998, after a hospitalization for asthma. The mercury toxicity was confirmed by a different doctor after another hospitalization in January, '99. I then began extensive detox and chelation therapies. Asthma was the first symptom that all but disappeared.
The fear of drowning in my own fluid slowly faded.
****
More here: Healing The Soul, Healing the Body
And here: Physician Carousel
And here: October 4, 1983: Journal entry after leaving The Way Corps
2 comments:
I was in that meeting when MDF told us not to waste a quarter for a stamp. That same guy, in 1995, told MBT that if he had been living in OT times, he would have been killed, and then went on to say MBT would be dead in three years. I held the letter on Way stationery in my hand, or I would not have believed it. Right after I read it, MBT set in on fire, so his children would never see it by mistake. It is his chatacter flaws that are the problem, not yours. I saw this about the man who helped me immeasurably through my interim year, and without whose help I would not have gone in for my final year. When it turned out 6 weeks before graduation that I flubbed LEAD, JAL was kind and fatherly, as I cried and cried, saying, "I'm sorry." I remember MDF saying, "You should be telling God you're sorry." JAL made him stop.
SP
A quarter! That makes me two-and-a-half times more valuable! lol And I thought it was only a dime. :D
That's horrible what MF wrote to MT. :( I wonder if MF remembers writing that? Seems he would. And if he has ever felt remorse for that? Be even better if he expressed that remorse to MT.
I know I've said some harmful things to people, especially in my true-believer, twisted-love, Way-daze. And I regret those words and the deeds that may have gone with them. I wonder how much I don't recall, in re to harmful words/deeds. :/
Did MF leave TWI and hook up with the R&R folks? I wonder if those folks ever reflect on their words and deeds from the past days in TWI? I wonder how they handle that in their noggins - if they reflect on it at all.
Good for JAL for telling MF to shut his trap! And especially over something like LEAD. Aargh. :/
Post a Comment