Reflections I

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My mind is not reeling, but it is divided? Is that the right word? Divided?

It's Friday, May 4, 2012. I'm in Birmingham, Alabama, for a special workshop. It will be small, only around 35 attendees. The workshop begins Saturday at 10:00 AM. I am staying at the Birmingham Airport Hotel which is where the workshop is being held.

I met another attendee this morning at breakfast. We talked together for a couple hours. Her name is Lisa and she was involved in a Bible Fundamentalist Church. She was born in; her father was the minister. She left in the 1990s when she was in her 40s.

After leaving, she married back into the BFC, but into a different faction with a different minister, a faction that was not an advocate for her previous group. The marriage ended; her Ex was abusive, domineering, and expected Lisa to be the submissive female. She had complied until a few years ago.

Last year Lisa's adult daughter had invited Lisa out for dinner, but instead of going to dinner the two ended up in front of a mental health hospital; the dinner invitation was bait. Lisa's daughter had lied to her. The daughter was carrying out what the dad, Lisa's ex, had instructed the daughter to do - lie to her mom, Lisa, and then have Lisa admitted to a mental health facility. Lisa got out of her daughter's car and walked away. She had no reason to be admitted to the hospital other than her ex saying she's crazy and wanting to control her.

Lisa's daughter did not pursue Lisa; the daughter knows what is going on. The daughter is caught in Ex's grip. Ex has an awaiting trust fund for Daughter, as well as Lisa and Ex's other adult children. As long as the children are looking for that trust fund to some day be their own, Ex pulls the strings. God, what a jerk.

Due to fear of harm from Ex, Lisa has since stayed away from her children and eight grandchildren.

Lisa has been in process of endeavoring to discover who she is. Since she was raised in a 'cult' she is trying to discover her identity for the first time. This weekend's workshop is part of her facilitation toward that.

I don't have a specific workshop goal. Maybe my purpose for being here is just face-to-face connection.

I shared with Lisa a bit of my story, including a little bit about what happened with Knapp.

Lisa and I ended our morning conversation. She went out by the hotel pool. I went to my hotel room.

And I cried. I don't know why I cried, but I cried.

I then bathed and shaved, making myself more presentable for the rest of the day.
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