AWW
non-subject: a breakdown
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I am not a good business owner.
By that I mean, I don't handle ownership stress well.
Hubby says my standards are too high and I take on responsibility (or blame) for things for which I am not responsible.
For me, business ownership has been like having a baby. It's been a 24/7 challenge. Not that I work 24/7, but I am attached to it 24/7.
This isn't a complaint, but rather a reality that I am dealing with and learning to manage. Recently, I haven't done well at managing it.
Currently, in addition to my business, I am working at my previous job as a miniature-art studio manager while the current manager and help are out of the country for a month. It's me and the owner and I've recruited both my adult children to help out too.
Recently I have had a flare-up of serum sickness causing weakness and tenderness in my hands and feet and causing fatigue. I wouldn't be surprised if the flare-up is simply from stressors. I know I somaticize and my current vulnerable point is this cursed serum sickness.
In mid-November I travel one day to New York for the hearing in regard to my ex-therapist. Gawd; that has me in knots. I'll be glad when that is done, done, done. I may and probably will still write about the god-awful experience that has been ongoing for the last two years. But, at least the fiasco will be done...unless the ex-therapist chooses to (again) retaliate in some fashion. If that were to happen, I think I'd just call my lawyer and see what I could/should do. My lawyer is also an ex-SBI undercover agent and works in law enforcement...so he knows options.
The next three weeks I simply need to pace myself each day.
I am so looking forward toward the latter part of November when all this is finished. Probably then, I'll find something else to worry over. Ha!
But, I have told myself that the latter part of November may never come.
Tomorrow may never come.
Today, to live in the present, is the important thing.
To live today, to know gratitude, to help a fellow traveler, to breathe and move and know life...that is.
It is autumn. The leaves are turning....and they are golden.
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2 comments:
Indeed Carol...living in the present is the healthiest state of mind. Dwelling on the gloom of the past only prolongs the agony and I think it best we shed it and move forward. Hope your illness improves soon and the deal with your ex-therapist is over quick so you can shed that worry too. Blessings always!
Thank you Anna!
Yes..the present is a gift, as 'they' say.
The past week as I've been in my Ford Explorer driving between clients, I've listened over and over to the song Chelsea Morning on my newly purchased Joni Mitchell CD. Love that song. It's all about being present.
<3
JONI MITCHELL chelsea morning
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