April, 2016, will be five years since the onset of polyradiculitis, which is the diagnoses term for the nerve damage that has catapulted my life in a different direction than I ever imagined. In Spring, 2011, I never imagined I would be living what I am living now.
That 5-year reality has hit me hard in the last month or so. It makes me cry.
I don't like calling it an "anniversary." Whether or not it is defintionally so, I feel like the word "anniversary" is a celebration of something good.
This incapacity with which I live is not 'good.' At times, I have almost said, "I wouldn't wish this on anyone." But then I think again - I'm not that good of a person and I might wish it on a few. But typing that right now, I'd still put a stop to it. The every-dayness of it can suck the life right out of a-body.
I have a lot more thoughts, but don't feel like typing them now.
~~~
I'm tired of waiting to edit my pieces before I publish them as blog entries.
And even when I do wait after typing a draft and editing it and making it public, I still come back and edit the piece, or make it private again 'til later.
I don't feel like going to all that trouble.
So I may have an upcoming untitled series, "on the fly," or "thought blurts."
Just stuff I want to get out in the universe somewhere.
(Universe somewhere. Probably a "cloud." The cyber-storage type.)
And of course, I may talk myself right out of making my 'thought blurts' public online. I may only publicize them to trees and critters...and other woods-life.
2 comments:
It so hurts us to have such negative changes. And I'm so sorry for the pain you have to go through. I think you should do whatever you want for your blog: publish, edit, don't edit, whatever you feel like. Remember I'm there for you. <3
Thanks Becky and Zoe...
<3 <3
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