So I typed it this morning.
The main thing on my mind was (again) focus on self-care.
That I am under no obligation to meet anyone else's standards of what they might think I should do in order to help myself.
That if I feel I need to explain or apologize; I don't need to.
But I know I will apologize sometimes.
I am sorry I can't do what I used to do - like be there for a friend in need ... or do the laundry.
Sometimes - in feeling pressure of societal or perceived or self-imposed shoulds, or feeling I need to meet standards I used to live, or imagining what others might think of me in regard to my limitations - I find myself putting my own well-being second or third, which I am unable to do for very long.
My psyche and body make it very clear, Your wholeness comes first. Recalibrate.
I'm reminded of airplane safety: Put on your own oxygen mask first.
After I typed my rally sheet this morning, an article came across my Twitter feed: As I get older I have learned...
The article helped validate what I had just typed on my rally sheet.
The author puts into words some of the feelings and thoughts I've gone through (again) the last week or so - thoughts that were up front and center as I typed this round's rally.
I think anyone who has lived enough can relate to the five lessons listed in the article, regardless of whether or not they live with chronic health issues.
This round's rally is below.
~*~
September 18, 2017, thru December 11, 2017
My new normal after epidural...
One goodish day, then one to two recovery days.
Plan for it.
This may be as well as I get.
Keep in mind the progress I have made.
Keep in mind what I can still do.
I am still mobile. That is HUGE.
I have work that I can perform part time.
It provides purpose and income.
I am committed to self-care and emotional wellness.
That is my main commitment.
Nothing else takes priority.
With self-care I am caring for others.
I do not have to explain to anyone my lack of commitment to activities/tasks outside of self-care.
Even if I weren't sick, there is no need to explain.
I have done nothing wrong by being sick.
I do not need to apologize, though I'm sure I will.
Remember moods, life, circumstances are like the weather.
Weather is always changing.
"It's wind man. It blows all over the place."
May I be peaceful.
May I have ease of well being.
May I be present.
May I embrace 10,000 sorrows and 10,000 joys.
Countdown:
Week 1: Completed M, 8/25/17
Week 2: Completed M, 10/02/17
Week 3: Completed M, 10/09/17
Week 4: Completed M, 10/16/17
Week 5: Completed M, 10/23/17 (BONIVA on Sa, 10/28/17)
Week 6: Completed M, 10/30/17 (neck shots M, 10/30/17)
Week 7: Completed M, 11/06/17
Week 8: Completed M, 11/13/17
Week 9: Completed M, 11/20/17
Week 10: Completed M, 11/27/17
Week 11: Completed M, 12/04/17
Week 12: Epidural #19 M, 12/11/17
Carol Welch, CEO ~cyclist. explorer. overcomer.
~*~
I type a rally sheet every 12 weeks and magnet it to my fridge.
The sheet is a count-down between my every 12-week epidurals,
I check off the weeks as they go by.
Each rally sheet is a bit different and is based on my most prominent symptoms at the time and coping reminders to help maneuver the weeks ahead.
3 comments:
I read this earlier this week and thought how I admire your presence of mind. You really are someone I look up to. And you never complain, just know what you have to do. Is this pragmatism?
Thanks Denise. <3
Feelings are likewise my friend.
I sometimes wonder if I sound like I'm complaining or whining. I counter that with, "So what. If I'm complaining, I guess I'm just complaining." :D
Interesting thought on pragmatism. I'll have to read up a little on that.
My first thought after your question was, "I think it's more about survival." Survival might be too extreme of a word. Maybe it's pragmavival. haha
Thanks for reading and commenting. :)
Funny thing...about an hour after I posted my 10/14 reply to you Denise, I read an article I'd been wanting to read for a week. The article was about Centrism. As I was reading the article, I thought, "This doesn't sound quite like Centrism, at least from different things I've read."
I really enjoyed the article. Here's the link: http://quillette.com/2017/10/10/the-spirit-of-centrism/
After reading the article I read the comments and one commenter states:
"Personally I’d describe what he’s talking about as pragmatism rather than centrism, but arguing about semantics rather misses the point."
I lol'ed. There's that word, "pragmatism." :D
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