Q: What are my beliefs about my illness?

The following is from my personal journal. I'm going through a series of questions from a book, answering the questions as best I can at the moment. I've decided to share this question and answer publicly, though it does cause me to feel a bit vulnerable - posting this. But that's not unusual.

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Q: What are my beliefs about my illness?

Nutshell summary:
I believe the human body, and every species of life, is designed to heal itself.
My body is designed to heal itself, and it is in the process of doing that.
But I don't know how much the ramifications of the condition can be reversed, which includes the side effects of medications used to keep me functioning.
In my body's fight for survival, during the ongoing stream of cobalt and chromium that was continuously released internally for eight years and the steroids needed to keep me functioning, it may have almost exhausted certain resources, like adrenal function.
I believe proper self care is vital to restore what can be restored.
Does this even answer the question? It will have to do for now.

~*~

6/11/2018
That word "belief" really stumps me. Is it fair to say that I don't know my "beliefs?" Yet, if I look at my actions, would that not be indicative of my beliefs? Is that a way I can define my beliefs, or at least help to define them?

My illness. I don't think of polyradiculitis as an "illness," itself. It is a condition. What illness does it fall under? Peripheral neuropathy, but not the typical PN that is described in commercials, etc. I no longer regularly suffer from pins and needles or numbness - accept in my fingers sometimes. Polyradiculitis is a rare PN condition. My main symptoms now are weakness and tenderness and pain. The tenderness is low level and only in my palms and soles. The pain is usually low level, but widespread and incessant once it starts as my injections were off. And there is fatigue, sometimes debilitating, but mostly low level and incessant, similar to the pain. And there is the brain-fog which I refer to as brain-mud. And there are other symptoms that are more irritants than major life disruptors.

I think I believe that my condition is reversible, if the cause of the condition is removed. Was the defective hip the cause? I don't know. I believe it is a major factor.

Even though I think it may be reversible, I wonder if there can be permanent damage that is not reversible - short of a "miracle." The human body, and life itself, is quite miraculous.

So, think on this - what do I believe about my illness? Come back later and look at it and write a nutshell summary.

~*~

It's 6/12/18 and I'm back.
I thought this morning that I believe the body is designed to heal itself. I believe that about all life. Life is designed to fight, to endure, to continue.

Suicide is so opposite of that, but the motive behind suicide may be, in a weird, twisted perspective, may be about survival - that a person feels s/he has no more reason to continue the fight and therefore it is best for the rest of humanity if the person delives. But that doesn't make sense at all. And it isn't what I really think. I'm just searching around in my head to try to locate words and what it is I do think. I just can't find it right now.

So back to the subject, regarding illness, the body is designed to heal itself. But what about my illness? That is the question: what do I believe about my illness?

Now I will reread what I have written here and come up with a nutshell statement.

Also remember, beliefs can change.

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