The same trajectory...

In my previous chronic-illness life, I developed symptoms in 1982. Symptoms were severe. Too much to list. In 1999, we discovered my body was holding high levels of mercury which can cause immune dysfunction. With my then-integrative-doctor's guidance and treatment, we got to work. It wasn't easy, but I made significant progress. In 2000, I developed a herniated disc which led me more deeply into the mind-body connection. The delve and practices worked; the herniated disc gave up its spasms and pain. By 2005, I was well enough to leave a toxic religious group and its doctrine to which I'd been loyal for 28 years. Leaving the group was one of the hardest things I've ever done. By 2010, I was well enough to take up backpacking. I set a goal that by the year I turned 60, in 2019, I'd fulfill my high school dream of thru-hiking the 2180-mile Appalachian Trail. Unfortunately that dream never materialized because of the next chapter.

The next chapter

In this current chronic-illness life, I developed symptoms in 2011, coinciding with some emotional trauma and a medication for toenail fungus. Again, symptoms have been severe. Too much to list. In 2016, we discovered my artificial hip implant from 2008 had been leaching cobalt and chromium into my body which can contribute to, and even cause, the nerve damage that was plaguing me. In 2016, I got the defective implant explanted and a new non-defective one implanted. My metal levels were down within two years, and I've made significant progress. In 2019 I began to develop shortness of breath, not related to the nerve damage. Doctors couldn't find a cause, other than maybe anxiety from an emotionally traumatizing series of events which had begun in February, 2019, and culminated (at least externally) in January, 2020. In May, 2020, I began having thoracic-back spasms and pain. (Also, I had shingles in October and November.) In February, 2021, the shortness of breath and thoracic pain worsened. By March, 2021, doctors had ruled out (with added tests and images) physical causes...so, in March, 2021, I began (again) a deeper dive into mind-body medicine on a re-quest (quest again) toward healing.

It appears, I'm on the same trajectory now as in my past healing journey...

• Emotional trauma
• Overresponsive immune system
• Diagnosis of disease(s)
• Begin medications
• Connected with good MDs
• Begin integrative medicine with  herbs, nutrition, mind-body work, education, journaling
• Discover heavy metal toxicity
• Remove the cause of the toxicity
• Help and allow my body time to rid the metal toxicity
• Symptoms slowly improve
• Physical symptoms unrelated to the disease(s) appear
• Approach the new symptoms as strictly mind-body
• The new symptoms disappear/improve
• Delve deeper into mind-body work with renewed hope that it may help the initial disease(s) that were in part caused by heavy metals and emotional traumas

In 2004, I got well from decades of chronic health adversities.
In 2021, the outcome remains to be seen.

~*~

Yesterday, 6/30/21

I load my schnauzer-printed tote bag, which I carry almost everywhere, with 2 books I'm reading and my journal, to take to my appointment with Dr. Smith who is my chiropractor, homeopath, nutritionist, and functional medicine doctor. I've been his patient since 2002. Currently I've hired him as my mind-body coach on my current re-quest; ie: quest again.

As I placed the books inside the bag, I thought...

I used to do this with Dr. Piva....

Immediately an image appeared in my mind. 

Me, 1999 - 2001, sitting across from Dr. Piva as he sat at his desk, unloading my books and journal and and then sharing with him what I was learning. Dr. Piva was my GP, osteopath, allergist, and nutritionist who was crucial in my past healing from two decades of chronic autoimmune illnesses.

My immediate thought following the image was...

I'm on the same trajectory...

Some weeks back I wrote, I have renewed hope. It's a hope I haven't had in awhile. This renewal has originated in part from again re-educating my self on healing, the connection of soul, mind, body. The books I'm reading now have newer research about our intricate human bodies; it's a subject that thrills me and instills awe and wonder and amazement...and hope. 

Back in 2000, after starting to journal and re-educate my self, this same thing happened...this renewal of hope. I state in my health story regarding that era in my life: I continued to journal and began to re-educate myself on healing. I began to have hope again.

I pick up my tote bag and go on my way to my appointment with Dr. Smith. 

And again I thought...

I'm on the same trajectory... 

~*~

Today, 7/01/21

Currently one of the books I'm reading is Cured: The Life-Changing Science of Spontaneous Healing by Jeffrey Rediger, M.D., published in 2020. As I read this morning about our amazing bodies and how the immune system and nervous system communicate and what scientists are currently learning about psychoneuroimmunology, I got soooooo excited. (I first read about psychoneuroimmunology in 2000 in the book Molecules of Emotion: The Science Behind Mind-Body Medicine by Candace B. Pert, Ph.D., published in 1997.)

As I sat cross-legged on the the floor, headlamp on my head, hardback book open in front of me, pages scribbled by my pen with notes in margins and paragraphs squigglied and sentences underlined... 

I stopped reading... 

Closed my eyes... 

And breathed in this new information letting it settle in my body and mind...  

Then... 

I lifted my arms into the air... 

Opened my eyes... 

Tilted my head toward the ceiling... 

And thanked whatever powers that be for this renewed hope...

I whispered aloud, "I'm on the same trajectory..."

I immediately called Hubby at work, knowing he may not be able to pick up the phone. But, he's the only person that would completely understand this hope and renewal as I felt it so biggly this morning. He's been with me for over 37 years. He answered and had time to listen and share and validate and rejoice in the moment with me...

I'm on the same trajectory....

In the first chronic-illness era (1982-2004), I got well...

Maybe it can happen again (2011 - ????)?

But even if it doesn't...

I'll have fun and rejoice along the journey...

~*~