Filled with purpose...

 Beginning last week, I've been perusing some stuff I've written but not posted on toss & ripple.

I have the intention to post some of these pieces on toss & ripple.

It remains to be seen how many will land here.

Today, I came across the following one. 

It was good to reread; a reminder.
I did post (most of it) on my poetry blog back in November. 

And now I post it here.

~*~*~

Prompt: Trapped in this journey

11/22/21

I've not written for the workshop this past week.

But I have written for me....

I'm currently taking a course: Potential of the Earth: Course One, a discussion between Charles Eisenstein and Orland Bishop. 

11/19/21

This course is bringing meaning to my life of the past 10 years...

Years that often felt without purpose...

For seven of those years, I lived with a deep sense of purposelessness...

I wrote about it often...

A nothingness...

Yet, I did feel a sense of purpose through my connections with non-human animals...

Many through my pet-sitting business...

Many through my wildlife encounters...

In 2017 I wrote a blog piece which I entitled Beyond Words...

To swim in her chestnut eyes...2020

The toilet valve incident....2019

Fabio at Grayson Highlands....2017

Fabio's offspring (perhaps) at Grayson Highlands...2021

Multiple encounters with foxes and deer and raccoon and possums and crows and songbirds and squirrels and insects in the back yard....

Multiple deer encounters at Muddy Creek...

Beloved ground hogs and deer along the Ararat River...

The ancient giant cliffs and rocks along the New River Trail...

The ancient New River itself...

The trees...

Nature's beloved trees...

My beloved trees...

And their lessons...

Grandfather Fir at Grayson...

Whom I last visited on October 19th...

Every time an answered prayer...

What has been that answer this time?

The encounter with the dissociation after Unit Two of this course?

And the insight thereafter?

Will that play into my physical healing, this round?

I do not know...

Yet I have seen parallels in my two different chronic illness lives...

The asthma coincided with the stifling of my voice in The Way...

A specific decision pre-happened Asthma's onset...

I can pinpoint it...

The widespread nerve damage developed on the heels of the therapist abuse...

I felt paralyzed, numb, dumfounded after Therapist's initial gaslighting...

A specific decision pre-happened the onset...

The decision to speak up publicly...

A month later, my limbs turned to rubber...

Both chronic illness lives are also connected with heavy metal toxicities...

In part, or whole, brought on by medical interventions...

I feel that somehow that is connected to the emotional and psychological...

At the very least, they are another straw on the camel's back...

I am a skeptic regarding a 'special time' in which we live...

Every pinpoint in time is special...

Eras...

Moment by moment...

Smaller than moments...

However, I do not want to throw out the prophet...

So, I listen and I consider...

I breathe and recall...

Incidents and experiences from my own life...

Encounters...

Spontaneous serendipities... 

Which seem to be the norm these days...

They may have always been...

But I didn't have the awareness to hear them...

Too much static...

So thus far, this course has opened up my realization...

That these past 10 years...

Have been filled with purpose...

I had understood how my pet-sitting provided a meaningful service...

But I could not understand how my Nature encounters provided service...

Until now, through this course...

The purpose of re-connecting with Earth...

Of communicating with Her...

With Her creatures in the wild...

With Her rocks and rivers... 

With the dirt beneath my feet...

With the plants...

With the beloved trees...

And even with inanimates...

All of which are initially made from earth materials...

Nature has hosted me and continues...

And I have hosted her and continue...

Humans are a part of Nature...

And I think I might be re-learning...

How to host humans...

And to allow them to hosts me...

Deep breath...

That is all for now...

~*~*~