Believing Equals Receiving: Myth?

This stuff may seem (and maybe is) elementary to most folks; yet I think maybe it's just now really dawning upon me. Kind of like when one day it will be clear to me that The Way is a cult. Yes, I still waiver sometimes with that....not in my logic, but in my emotional attachment. (If that makes sense.)

So, at the risk of sounding rather stupid...below are some of the thoughts....

Note: The Way taught "believing equals receiving."
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When I awoke this past Saturday morning, my first conscious thought was..." 'Believing equals receiving' is a myth." I was stunned.

I then asked myself, "Is it?" I'm not sure.

That was followed with two more questions: "Is 'the power of belief' a myth?" Is it?" I'm not sure.

Later that same day I was thinking about belief and what is one thing that I believe. I believe my husband loves me. THAT is not a myth. I see it in action.

When in TWI, if a person had an illness (I developed chronic illnesses after four years with The Way), and if the person couldn't get well, they weren't believing enough. Yet that person might be trying everything they know to get well and still fall short of the result of wholeness. According to the doctrine, believing always works - like gravity on earth. It's an absolute. If the person were believing they would be healed. If not, no healing. End of story.

Since some months after leaving The Way, I've recognized this as "doctrine over person," but not as "myth." Myth - like Santa Clause or Zeus or flying reindeer. Or dare I say like an invisible entity that desires worship and grants promises and intervenes in human affairs sporadically? (Gosh that hurts to write....)

Who ever decided that "believing and receiving" was true and absolute!?! That's a somewhat rhetorical question, as I feel sure the answer goes back millenia. ...."If thou believest; all things are possible to him who believes."??

Yet it is so very hard to wrap my brain around the reality that this "absolute principle" ("believing equals receiving") is myth. It's almost impossible to wrap my heart around god as myth.

How does it feel, this inability to wrap my brain around these possibilities? It feels like brick walls. A cage, and I shake the bars hollering and hoping someone will hear. It feels like an impasse. A giant canyon with no bridge but the other side is in sight. It feels like the fish in the fishbowl bumping the glass, unable to swim beyond the transparent barrier...

It's o.k. Carol, to feel that way. It's understandable. Your feelings are not myth. You feel them.

Is "believing equals receiving" myth? I think so.
Is a theist god a myth? Right now I'm at 50/50. On a different day I might be 60/40 or 20/80.
Is a creator a myth? Bumfuzzled on this one.
When is it o.k. to believe a myth; when is it not o.k.? It's not o.k. if it harms...
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