Over Ninety-nine Percent Identical

~from the archives~
*august 11, 2009*
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I have a lot running through my head. I'm not sure where to start. I've learned through years of journaling that it really doesn't matter where one starts. The point is to put the pen to paper, fingers to keys. In the doing, a transformation on the page begins. Seldom is it ever complete. What fun would that be anyway?

So what's on my mind? Life. Art. Abuse. Healing. Cross-fertilization. Birth. Rebirth. Loss. Grief. Bridges.

I've come to see that abuse is not unique, anymore than childbirth. How unique is childbirth? For the one born, for the mother of that one, for the father of that one, for the family of that one, for the friends of the that one? It is so unique that no two humans (nor their births) are ever the same; yet, the DNA of all us humans is over 99%(?) identical. Somewhat of a paradox. (Oooo...reminds my of a poem!)

The event of childbirth and birthing is unique for each individual, but not for humanity. Childbirth has been around a long time. Likewise with abuse. As long as there are humans (at least on this earth in this age), there will be births. There will be deaths. There will be joys. There will be tradegy. There will be abuses. There will be healing.

One to two years ago, I read this introduction by Jim Moyers which includes the following quote:
"It has been repeatedly, sometimes tragically demonstrated that isolation from the cross-fertilizing and moderating effects of the larger society tends to result in derangement of some degree in groups as well as individuals."

What does that have to do with my prior paragraphs? Groups that isolate themselves (physically or ideologically) are not unique to society nor human interactions. Does that mean abuse will automatically occur? No. However, it does mean the group will have less checks and balances, possibly more prejudices and us-them thinking, which is oftemtimes a path that results in abuses. It happens in all sorts of settings, from therapy and new-age "cults" to Bible-based "cults" and even in "recovery groups."

As far as recovery-type groups, if someone continues to spin their wheels among the same people about the same thing, does it not become insular itself? I imagine it might be similar to what happens for some people going to AA meetings; eventually some people realize that the meetings are keeping them stuck in a mindset they are ready to move beyond.

Recovery from cultic thinking may be more efficient (or at least aided) if ex-members "cross- fertilize." I think it is important for folks to learn about others who were abused in the group in which they were involved, but then a next step (if needed) may be to learn about/converse with/listen to ex-members of other groups, to get a bigger picture. And, depending on one's interests and needs, to investigate societies and cultures as a whole.

That doesn't negate an individual's experience, pain, suffering. That must be acknowledged, honored, and owned. A broader perspective may then help build a bridge to more wholeness and balance.

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note: I've found the book, Bounded Choice by Janja Lalich, one of the most understandable books for explaining and dissecting cultic group dynamics and influence techniques, all on a continuum of course.
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