Cheating

AWW ~ 10/12/11
non-subject: cheating
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Cheating.

Tests.
Marriage.
Lovers.

The fastest feline, the cheetah.
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What was Knapp's perspective when he acted out online at the end of August?
Did I drive him to that point because of what I wrote publicly?
Did Knapp view me as the hypocrite?
Did I write what I wrote because of the hypocrisy I witnessed?
Was I acting out by bringing forth parts of my story?
At one point does a person break?
Once a person reaches that threshold, what is the rationale to lie?
When is lying proper?

I feel there would be times when lying is proper - perhaps to save a rebel with a just cause.

But does a true rebel lie?

Truth and lies.

My friend Frank acted out, but mainly in private. And Frank didn't lie. Instead, he told the truth.
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In May, 2007, Frank sent a private email to Rhodes, the administrator of the ex-Way online discussion board. In that email Frank revealed that Frank and Nora had had an affair. The affair had taken place in 2001. I think it was 2001.

Nora was one of Dr. Wierwillle's victims, a victim of the inner-sanctum teaching of The Way that it was okay, and even a sign of spiritual maturity, for a woman, married or unmarried, to meet the sexual needs of the man of God, married or unmarried. It wasn't cheating; it was blessing.

Story goes that Nora may have been given a drug when Doctor decided to meet his needs. However, that isn't for sure - the drug part. The event happened some 30 plus years ago. I recall reading or Nora telling me that she felt herself outside of her body, observing the sex between she and Doctor. I've read of similar responses surrounding trauma; the feeling of being outside one's body...disconnected, dissociated. Nora isn't sure if she was drugged or simply felt drugged...or something. Nora had been sexually abused by her uncle when she was a child. Doctor told Nora he could help heal that part of her life; that part stolen by her uncle.

Doctor. Healing. Cheating.

Nora and Frank met through the online anti-Way discussion board. Nora approached Frank and I'd say seduced him; at least from what I gather. She told Frank her marriage was on the rocks and I'm sure it was. She was lonely; I guess Frank was too. Frank and Nora's however-many-months online and phone affair ended up with a weekend in Nora and her husband's bed, or maybe it was Nora's son's bed.

Frank fell in love with Nora. He thought Nora fell in love with him.

Then Nora dropped Frank; just like the affair had never happened and like Frank never existed. No good-byes; nothing. Frank's heart was ripped apart.

He didn't tell anyone for five years until he revealed it to me in 2006. Except his adult children; he had told them.

During that five-year silence, Frank observed Nora's online activity. From his perspective, she was a hypocrite - continuing to bring up her Dr. Wierwille abuse story and Frank knowing what she had done to him and, from his observation, may be trying to do to other men.

He only told me because of Rhodes' allegations in December, 2006, that Frank had masqueraded online as a woman; a woman who spilled her heart to me in a private online chat room about her broken relationship with Frank.

And now, as I write this in 2011, my mind is flooded with details. Back story details. Complexities. Relationships.

Frank and I knew each other from 30 plus years ago in Connecticut. Then he appeared in my life again in December, 2006, first online and shortly thereafter face to face.

Just so happened, in 2006, that Frank lived less than an hour's drive from me. The woman, whose name is Sandy, that Frank supposedly masqueraded as, lived within a half-hour drive.

Unlike Frank and Nora and me and Rhodes and the people of the anti-Way discussion board, Sandy had never been with The Way. Her only Way association was that she had been the girlfriend of Frank, an ex-Way follower.

Frank acted out because of many reasons; one being the lies told about him. Another being the hypocrisy of the anti-Way forum. Another being certain people on that forum referring to Frank as a liar and poser and baiter and pervert, when really, it was the other way around.

There are probably other reasons too.

When I had dinner with Sandy at Ham's Restaurant in May or June, 2007, she told me that she received emails from one of the anti-Way discussion board moderators. She forwarded me those emails. The emails stated that the moderator knew who she was, the moderator accusing her of being Frank, which she wasn't.

Frank never played the role of Sandy and Sandy didn't play the role of Frank.

In December, 2006, when I wrote to Rhodes that my husband and I had met face to face with Frank and that Rhodes' allegation simply wasn't true, Rhodes wrote me that there could be no other explanation than Rhodes' explanation; that is, that Frank had posed as a woman trying to bait me. Rhodes wouldn't even consider that Rhodes might be wrong in his accusation against Frank.

At the time, I wrote back to Rhodes that if Frank had posed as a woman, then I had a penis.

I was that sure that Frank was telling the truth.

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