non-subject: my voice
aww ~ jan 9, 2013
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Recently when I shared an online update, someone said I barged into a forum and that I was a cyberstalker and to go away.
I addressed the person's accusation and then the person spelled out the definition of a cyberstalker.
I pointed out that clearly I did not match his definition.
I asked him to document the accusations he had thrown at me.
He never responded.
One of his accusations is that I have a "grudge."
"Grudge."
I think of a grudge as a heavy bulky old weight bordering on hatred and wishing evil on another party.
It feels like a cantankerous grizzly bear who is hungry after a harsh winter.
'Tis not a state of mind where I choose to take up residence, at least for any length of time.
Maybe the person that accused me has a different description of grudge.
Perhaps I should have asked that person's perception of grudge.
I thought later, "What if I did or do have a grudge?"
Then I wondered, "Are grudges wrong? Who has decided they are wrong?"
What difference does my grudge, if I have one, make to the party accusing me of holding a grudge, especially when the person and I have never met nor communicated.
I don't think my accuser took time to read anything I've written.
Or maybe he did read, and his opinion is that I'm grudgey.
I guess I can add grudgey to the list of labels others have given me.
Maybe I'm the eighth dwarf.
5 comments:
LOL! Sounds to me like this guy totally wanted to be in control of the forum and resented you having an opinion. Who is this rude stranger who decides whether or not you have a right to have a grudge or agree or disagree if you want to? Sounds to me like he has a MAJOR grudge against something and that he fits the definition of a cyber bully. Poo on him!
Well I wondered the same thing. If perhaps projecting something he deals with inside or has experienced.
He simply refused to ever answer any of my questions, including the questions asking where he came up with the things he accused of doing. I don't know the guy.
Anyone...it made me laugh too...when I thought about it and how ridiculous it was.
Thanks Anna!
This reminds me of spiritual abuse forums where people go to talk about their spiritual abuse and someone comes along and says: 'You're just bitter.' They throw out the term as if to say, 'There. That took care of her/him.' It's a way to silence people when the topic at hand is uncomfortable. Funny that. A forum where people are encouraged to talk but then silenced when they do.
Off-topic: There was a comment I left and you asked me a few questions and I intended to answer them but haven't gotten around to it yet. (Regarding my therapist.) I might email you an update on that when I know more. :-)
Geez...my typos. :D
I'm enduring carpal tunnel these days...so it increases my already vulnerable typo syndrome. ;)
xo
Hey Zoe...
I would like to have an update when/if you know more about the ex-therapist and if you have the energy to send an email. Some days, just writing an email takes me a lot of energy. I figure others feel that way too.
I've read that "get over it" many places around the web. It is a silencing technique...and it used to work on me. But, it works less efficiently now.
Personally I don't want to "get over it," in the sense of remember it no more or in the sense of "we don't speak about these things." Geez, imagine if folks shut up about their lives...the good and the bad. What a cold, robotic existence.
A person's story is. Parts of the story are subjective and parts are objective. But both are real...and perception changes as one looks back on situations. I'm thankful now I can see more clearly how manipulators work.
Thanks again Zoe.
xoxo
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