Thirty-three Years Old

non-subject: Thirty-three years old
aww ~ 7/23/13

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Thirty-three years old.

So many dreams.

Some have come true.

In my early twenties, all I really wanted was to marry a good man and raise a family. At the time, I wanted to raise my children in "the nurture and admonition of the Lord." What did that mean to me?

It meant my children would grow up to love the Lord Jesus Christ, to stand upon the rightly-divided Word of God; to know that that they know that they know that God is always good, that God never desires harm or sickness or death; but rather, that God's will is always healing and life; that above all else, God will never leave or forsake them; and that Jesus Christ paid the ultimate price.

One of my great fears was that one of my children would choose homosexuality. I believed all homosexuals were worthy of death and that to choose such a lifestyle was the lowest of the low. If one of my children were to choose that path, what would I do? Would I, could I, disown them, mark and avoid them, so they would learn the error of their ways and turn back to the rightly-divided Word?

To raise them in the nurture and admonish of the Lord meant they would learn to speak in tongues. They would take The Way's Foundational and Intermediate and Advanced Classes. They would learn to operate all nine manifestations: speaking in tongues, interpretation of tongues, prophecy, word of knowledge, word of wisdom, discerning of spirits, faith, miracles, and healing.

To raise them in the nurture and admonish of the Lord meant they would remain faithful in the Household of God which was The Way International, the functioning Body of Christ. All Christians outside the Household were part of the Family of God, but not part of the Household of God, the initiated ones who practiced and lived the love of God in the renewed mind in manifestation.

To raise them in the nurture and admonish of the Lord meant obedience to the Word which meant obedience to their parents and to Ministry leadership which would lead to obeying the Word and the still small voice of God. It meant being good to all mankind but especially to those in the Household of God, the Household of The Way.

To raise them in the nurture and admonish of the Lord meant they would marry another likeminded believer. Part of my responsibility was to help preserve the rightly-divided Word so it would carry on to the next generation.

To raise them in the nurture and admonish of the Lord meant that their temptations in life wouldn't be between what is good and bad, but rather between good and best. It meant I would teach them about Dr. Wierwille's life and all the men and women of God who had gone before so that we could be alive in this day and time in this country of the United States proclaiming the accuracy of the Word of God. For it was only the accuracy of the Word that set men and women free.

To raise them in the nurture and admonish of the Lord meant they would know that they know that they know that Jesus Christ was not God, but rather that he was fully man and the son of God. To believe Jesus was God was the epitome of idolatry. The devil would use that idolatrous belief in revealing the future anti-Christ when that anti-Christ would set himself up as God. What better way to pave the way for a man to proclaim himself as God than to have believers already believing that a man had been God 2000 years ago? To worship Jesus as God opened doors to homosexuality, mankind worshiping his own form.

To raise them in the nurture and admonish of the Lord meant that my children would know that they know that they know that the dead are dead, not alive in some afterlife. My children would know that when Jesus returns in the clouds at the time of the gathering together, that the dead in Christ would at that time arise from their sleep state. No one, except Jesus Christ himself, is alive until the day of the Gathering Together. After the dead in Christ rise, then any believers who are alive would instantly be changed and given their new bodies and would meet the Lord in the air. All other dead people, unbelievers and the Old Testament believers, would be raised later at the upcoming judgments in the future heavens and earth.

At 33 years old I knew that I knew that I knew.

But now at 54 years old, I know that there is very little I really know in comparison to the expanse of life and death, of god and spirituality. I no longer believe that speaking in tongues builds one up spiritually. I no longer believe that The Way is the true household of God. I no longer believe doctrines that I once believed, like the "law of believing." I no longer believe that the Bible, even as originally written, is anymore "God-breathed" than any other literature regarding spirituality and life, evil and good, and what resides in the heart of mankind and our future state.

What do I now believe? It depends on which day I ask myself that question.

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