June 15, 2009

Musings, Blogging, Memoir (chronology)

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Below is a partial list of links to memoir snippets. The list is partial because, as my manner is, I'm random. Sometimes list-updates happen, and sometimes not. I also link to pieces that I consider more as narratives rather than memoir.

The index is quite a hodge-podge.

Some pieces are written while participating in Authentic Writing Workshops.

Click here to read an introduction to memoir.

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LIFE STORY: Memoir
Private Eyes:  Childhood. FL. NC.
Parakeets, Moonwalks, and Reindeer:  Childhood. NC.
Uncle Fred Took Pictures: Childhood. FL.
The Same Argument: Childhood, NC.
Bury the Weakness: Childhood. NC.
First Kiss:  Childhood.  NC.
Lock-in: Teen years. NC.
Don't Touch: Teen years. NC.
Recurring Story: Teen years. NC.
Barrel Toking: Teen. 1974. NC.
The Space Between: Teen years. NC.
A Green Hornet and Blackbirds:  1974.  15 years old.  NC.
Witch Doctors and Roller Coasters:  1974.  15 years old. NC.
Echoes:  1975.  16 years old. SC.
Alone in a House of Mirrors ~ I: 1975. 16 years old. NC.
Alone in a House of Mirrors ~ II: 1975. 16 years old. NC.
Initiated: 1975-1977. 16/17 years old. NC.
Panel Wagons and Speaking in Tongues: 1976. 1977.
God Seekers:  1977. 17/18 years old. NC.
Shame and Anger:  1977. 18 years old. NC.
The Bumper Sticker:  1977.  18 years old.  NC.
The House Beside the Railroad Tracks:  1977.  18 years old.  NC.
The Rest of My Life 1977. 18 years old. NC.
Up The Way Tree:  1978.  18/19 years old.
Extirpation:  1978.  19 years old.

Doorbell in Full Dress: 1981. NC.
Mandatory: 1982. 23 years old; KS.
A Different Kind of Baptism: 1982. 23 years old. IN, OH.
Stainless Steel:  1983.  24 years old.   IN
How Did You Get in the Word?:   1983. 24 years old. OH.
Lost History I:  1983. 24 years old. OH.
Lost History II:  1983. 24 years old. OH.
Love Heals:  1984.....
Pap Smear: 1987, 1988. NC.
Caretaker, with ten minutes to go: 1988. 29 years old. NC.

Re-membering: 1991. NC.
Trees Peek In:  1992.  32 years old.  NC.
Mental Illness - Counselor #1: 1994. NC.
surrender: 1994. 35 years old. NC.
On the Sofa Beside Me:  1995.  35 years old.  NC.
Critters in School:  1995.  36 years old. NC.
Some Light Reading...:1995. NC/TN.
Foundations: Mid-1990s. NC.
War Maims: 1996. 36 years old. VA.
Heart Failure: 1996. 36 years old. VA and NC.
Ashes (original II): 1996. 36 years old. NC.

Missing Pieces I
Phone with Cords I:  2001. 41 years old. NC.
Phone with Cords II:  2001. 41 years old. NC.
Slide Show: 2001. 42 years old. TX.
Missing Pieces II:  2002.  42 years old.  NC.
Missing Pieces III (part 1):  2002.  42 years old.  NC.
Missing Pieces III (part 2):  2002.  42 years old.  NC.
Views of Rooftops:  2002. 42 years old. NC.
Guilt Trip:  2003. 43 years old.  NC.
Dialects:  2003.  43 years old. NC.
Resignation: 2003. 44 years old. NC.
Out There: Early 2000s. NC.
Hush Little Children: 2004. 45 years old. NC.
Chapter 22: More Journal Entries: 2004. 45 years old. NC.
Brian at Borders:  2005.  45 years old. NC.
Books, Brian, Borders: 2005. 45 years old. NC.
Aquilla & Priscilla: 2005. 46 years old. NC.
To Hear with Different Ears: 2005. 46 years old. NC.
I like the deep tone of buffalo drums...2005. 46 years old. NC.
"Where is the love?": 2005. MO. NC.
Moths, Dams, Anchors: August, 2005. NC.
Embracing Change: 2005.  46 years old. NC.
For the Love of God: August, 2005
Behind Closed Eyes:  2006. 46 years old. NC
The Sword of the Lord and Bagpipes:  2006. 47 years old. NC.
Twenty-seven years and seven hours: July, 2006. 47 years old. NC.
Convoluted: 2006, 2010.
Missing Pieces I:  2006.  47 years old.  OH.
Another Awakening:  2006. 47 years old. NC
Twisted:  2006-2009.  NC
"No Other Explanation" ~greasespotcafe:2006, 2007
A Different Version:  2007. 48 years old. NC.
Protecting the Guilty~Part 1:  2006-2007. NC.
Protecting the Guilty~Part 2: 2006-2007. NC.
Cleaver Radio, Marta Szabo, and Serendipity: 2009
Marking Time:  2009.  49 years old.  NC.
Million Dollar Pylon:  2009. 50 years old. FL.
Prissy Prudes and Gremlins:  2009.  50 years old.  NC.
GreaseSpot Cafe: In the Kitchen: 2009. 50 years old. NC.
Kinship:  2009.  50 years old.  NC.
New York Log I:  2009.  50 years old.  NY.
New York Log II:  2009.  50 years old.  NY.
New York Log III:  2009.  50 years old. NY.
Each Voice Matters:  2009.  50 years old.  NY.
Behind Closed Eyes:  2009.  50 years old. NC
A Flash:  2009.  50 years old.  NC.
Flash Recovery:  2009.  50 years old.  NC.
Rituals 1: porch & papers:  2009.  50 years old.  NC.
Rituals 2: ashes & webs:  2009.  50 years old.  NC.
Riutals 3:  black holes & badgers:  2009.  50 years old.  NC.
Seven-week Witness:  2009.  50 years old.  NC.
Love Heals:  2009.  50 years old.  VA.
Getting Things Right:  2009.  50 years old.  NC.
What is Your Agenda?: November, 2009. NC.

MRSA is not Flat: 2010. 50 years old. NC.
Borders: March, 2010. 50 years old. NC.
A Mom Who Blogs: January, 2010. NC.
The Team: Winter, 2010.NC.
Guidelines and Procedures: Winter/Spring, 2010. NC.
Will Gnats Evolve?: May, 2010. NC.
Connected in Places: May, 2010. NC.
It Will Become a Memory: June/July, 2010. NC.
Anti-Cult Leaks July 30, 2010. NC.
Little Me: August, 2010. NC.
Primal Beings : August, 2010. NC.
Multiplication Factors: August, 2010. NC.
Confidential Wedges: August/September, 2010. NC.
Soul Groups: September, 2010. NC.
Walls are Real : October 2, 2010. NC.
Lion, Scarecrow, Tinman: November, 2010. NC.
An Encounter: November 3, 2010. NC.
Final Non-pronouncements: January 12, 2011. NC.
Still Life on an End Table: January 24, 2011. NC.
Belief Percentages: January, 2011. NC.
It Will Become a Memory: February 2, 2011. NC.
Rereading Me: February 14, 2011. NC.
cre-ate to art-cee: February 19, 2011. NC.
Cultic Abuse Flipside: March 5, 2011. NC.
A short trip to an island....: March 16, 2011. GA.
~random thoughts in march~: 2011.
Pass the Beans: May 4, 2011. NC.
Ordinary: May 6, 2011. NC.
Blackbirds, Ravens, Scapegoats: May 27, 2011. NC.
In Cog Nito: June 1, 2011. NC.
Post Hurricane Crystals: September 11, 2011. NC.
Stage Names and Imposters: March 13, 2012. NC.
Voices: March 27, 2012. NC.
Ponies and Fly: April, 2012. 52 years old. VA.

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Below are pieces that cover a broad time range. 
Seeking: Life Along The Way [Part 1]: Childhood through High School
Seeking: Life Along The Way [Part II]: College (1978) through 1984
Seeking: Life Along The Way [Part III]1984 through 2008
Mary Jane and Ruffled Feathers: 1970s. 2000s.
The First Time: 1960s. 1990s.
Stillness: 1980s. 1990s.
Peaks and Peak Skills - I:  1970s. 1980s. 2009.
Peaks and Peek Skills - II:  1970s. 1980s. 2009.
More than Skin-deep:  1960s. 1970s. 2009.
Daughtering ~ Grief ~ Substance: 1970s. 1990s. 2009.
The Cult that Snapped ~ Chapter 13: 1978-2010
Hanging There ~ Zoloft, Clotheslines, Mr. Rogers, Limbs, and MIAs: 1990s-2010
Taboo: 1980. 1998.
Physician Carousel: 1981-2010
Quadriplegia: 1984 thru 1996.
Views of Rooftops: 2001-2009
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Below are pieces that, to me, are more like journal entries than memoir.
Guru Thought: Strength April, 2009
Guru Thought: Ability: April, 2009
entry ~ more of a jounal entry:  May, 2009
Crusades, Fence Sitters, and Yarn: May, 2009
Weighing and Waying Experiences: May, 2009
Significant Insignificance: May, 2009
Not Someone Elses: June, 2009
Tweet Tweet: June, 2009
Guru Thought: Wood & Water: June, 2009
memoir begins with m e: June, 2009
entry ~ behind closed eyes:  September, 2009
Ripening: September, 2009
Ghost Writing in Reverse: November, 2009
entry ~ cedar closet:  November, 2009
entry ~ chin up:  November, 2009
entry ~ dirty fingers:  November, 2009
entry ~ as the forum turns - greasespot cafe:  November, 2009
entry ~ communion: December, 2009
~ regardless of the season ~: December, 2009
~the past, the present, and Monday nights~: December, 2009
entry ~ remember to remember ~: December, 2009
entry ~ heritage: December, 2009
entry - house dreams: January, 2010
entry ~ shifts & shatters: February, 2010
entry ~ grief: February, 2010
Next Entry: February, 2010
Hear my muse...: February, 2010
Spongy: March, 2010.
entry ~ room to room: March, 2010.
journal entry: april, 2010..."rows of weapons"
Blipped Rant: May, 2010
Heading on a Trek: May, 2010
Time Balms: July, 2010

August 3, 10, 11, 12, 2010: Cult-Recovery Abuse
August 12, 2010: 2:45 AM Rant
August 30 & September 1, 2010: Horns & Psychopaths
September 3 & 8, 2010: 'Que Sera' & 'Slice & Hatchet'
September 10 & 13, 2010: Embalm & Die Happy
September 15 & 16, 2010: Bloody Hollows
September 19 & 20, 2010: to burn the lips & cause to utter
September 20, 2010: Decision to File ~ Overview
September 23 & 26, 2010: Damaged Goods
September 24, 2010: "What you think of me is none of my business"
September 27, 2010: The Greater Common Factor
October 1, 2010: Instincts
October 9, 2010: Hope
October 19 & 23, 2010: 'Healer Abuse' & 'Request'
October 24, 2010: Giving Voice
October 24 & 29, 2010: 'another day' & 'renewal'
November 04, 2010: Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep
November 14, 2010: entry ~ loving me
November 15, 2010: Entry, 11/15/2010: Processing thru the Knapp scenario
November 17, 2010: journal entry - thought record: Knapp's FB page
November 21, 2010: entry ~ overcome evil with good
November 26, 2010: Knapp's New Playground
December 6, 2010: No More Secrets
December 8, 2010: Dis-ease
December 8, 2010: No More Secrets II
December 12, 2010: Storms
December 18, 2010: Cut & Block
January 9, 2011: journal entry ~ january 9, 2011, 1:30 am
January 17, 2011: denial
January 19, 2010: Soap Dispensers
February 2, 2011: It Will Become a Memory
February 12, 2011: journal entry ~ february 12, 2011
February 14, 2011: Rereading Me
February 16, 2011: journal entry ~ february 16, 2011
February 17, 2011: journal entry ~ february 17, 2011
February 18, 2011: journal entry ~ february 18, 2011
February 27, 2011: journal entry ~ february 27, 2011
March 2, 2011: ~ when things began to get good ~
March 6, 2011: journal entry ~ march 6, 2011
March 10, 2011: journal entry ~ march 10, 2011
March 26, 2011: ~random thoughts in march~
April 1, 2011: ~ant farms & consciousness~
April 3, 2011: Little Fish Choices
April 6: journal entry ~ april 6, 2011
April 6, 2011: Blessed Anger
April 12, 2011: journal entry ~ april 12, 2011
May 01, 2011: A thought away...
June 6, 2011: journal entry ~ june 6, 2011
August 29, 2011: Thoughts on a Monday Evening in August
September, 2, 2011: journal entry ~ Twist and Shout
September 5, 2011: Next Water Source
September 5, 2011: Absurdity
September 13, 2011: Projections, threads, sundials
April 7, 2012: Imposters in Masks
April 22, 2012: Psyche Betrayed

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GENERAL NARRATIVES & MUSINGS...along the blogging way
Seeking: Life Along The Way [Part 1]: Childhood through High School
Seeking: Life Along The Way [Part II]: College (1978) through 1984
Seeking: Life Along The Way [Part III]1984 through 2008
November, 1979: "Way College Compared with Dangerous Cults"
John Welch: March, 2006, letter to Rosalie Rivenbark
Leaving Belief Structures and Systems: March, 2009
Dancing Between the Questions: March, 2009
"Who Would You Be Without Your Story?": April, 2009
Colorblind: April, 2009
No Road to Nowhere: June, 2009
Flashbacks, Dissociation, and Back Again: June, 2009
Way Corps Journal Entries: Preface: July, 2009
"Star Mangled Banner?" ~Jimi Hendrix: July, 2009
Silence: There's More than Meets the Ear: July, 2009
Conversing with Gremlins: July, 2009
Trust and the "Assertive Bill of Rights": July, 2009
Cult-Recovery 101 and Beyond: August, 2009
Over Ninety-nine Percent Identical: August, 2009
It Hurts: August, 2009
Subtlety: A Current Perspective on The Way International: September, 2009
Celebrating Landscapes: September, 2009
Cosmic Relief: September, 2009
Slates and Walls: October, 2009
Ink Not Dried - more thoughts on memoir: October, 2009
inhale...energize....integrate...:October, 2009
Do You Type with Eyes Closed?: October, 2009
Memoir, Art, Life ~ Love Affair: October, 2009
Pseduos ~ Secrets ~ Yets: December, 2009
It's Relative: December, 2009
"Free Gullibility Test":December, 2009
"I meant to do my work today....": December, 2009

Benefit of the Doubt: January, 2010
Believing Equals Receiving: Myth?: January, 2010
Picture Revelations ~ Number Nine: January, 2010
Another blog?: January, 2010
One blog here. Two blogs there. Blogger blogger everywhere...: January, 2010
"Of All Men Most Miserable": February, 2010
More Valentine Whistles ~ "What happened to Deerfield": February, 2010
Tears Still Roll: March, 2010
Leaving and Returning: March, 2010
Dimensions of Bliss: April, 2010
Peeking Between the Cover: April, 2010
Is: April, 2010
Giant and Dwarf: May, 2010
Scientific Studies: TMO's sacred doctrine over person?: May, 2010
Giants and the Roan: August, 2010
jury dismissed: September 1, 2010
Unplugging from Facebook: September 3, 2010
Shadow Colors: September 7, 2010
Abe: September 10, 2010
Authentic Writing: September 16, 2010
98.7: September 23, 2010
Victor Paul Wierwille: "The Lockbox" (mp3 recording): October 21, 2010
~rhythm and flow~: October 31, 2010
Forests (thoughts on blogging): November, 07, 2010
Cults and Such: November 20, 2010
Purple & Green: December 01, 2010
The Obvious ~ a quote: December 04, 2010
Sunlife and Orbs: December 06, 2010
Hubber on HubPages: December 27, 2010
Rejecting Genocide: December 31, 2010

Homestretch: January 05, 2011
Group Speak ~ "The Way International: The Straight Truth": January 11, 2011
Belief Percentages: January 26, 2011
cre-ate to art-cee: February 19, 2011
More: February 20, 2011
~ant farms & consciousness~: April 1, 2011
Puppets and the Canadian Bear: April 19, 2011
A thought away...: May 01, 2011
Ordinary: May 6, 2011
Wolves & Cement: May 11, 2011
Miles: May 21, 2011

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JUNE 26, 2011:
Below are some of the blog entries relaying what happened (in part) with John M. Knapp, LMSW, my previous cult-recovery counselor.

Our relationship ended in an abrupt and harmful manner on August 2, 2010.
At the end of September, 2010, I filed a formal complaint with the state of New York where Knapp was licensed.
New York state opened an investigation in December, 2010. 
Update: Knapp's licensed was revoked in January, 2014.

Section I: Stuff (pertinent information & my ponderings as to my reasoning-through process of going public)
March 23, 2011: John M. Knapp, LMSW: Endorsements Retraction
March 30, 2011: The Center for Healing Spiritual and Cultic Abuse - One year in the making?
April 17, 2011: The Center for Healing Spiritual and Cultic Abuse (theCHSCA.org)
April 25, 2011: Inventories & Reflections
May 25, 2011: Repercussions
June 14, 2011: Whys, Whats, Reasons
June 29, 2011: To Write Outloud
July 19, 2011: Private Damns
July 22, 2011: "More" Matters ~ Therapist-Client Perimeters
August 21, 2011: Out of Hiding: 'Why shouldn't I hire John M. Knapp, LMSW?'
August 21, 2011: Complaint Overview
August 23, 2011: One effect of dual relationships in a therapeutic relationship
August 26, 2011: My statements addressing John M. Knapp's allegations & accusations
September 4, 2011: Of Scandals & Scapegoats

Section II: Journal Entries
As of April 28, 2012, this index has been incorporated into the body of the index above under the section subtitled "...more like journal entries than memoir."
The journal entries regarding my working through what happened with John M. Knapp begin at "August 3, 10, 11, 12, 2010."

Section III: Memoir Snippets
As of April 28, 2012, this index has been incorporated into the body of the main index above entitled "LIFE STORY: Memoir." Memoir pieces regarding my experiences with John M. Knapp are listed beginning January, 2010.

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MUSIC
Les Miserables: "Do You Hear The People Sing": June, 2009
No Road to Nowhere: June, 2009
"Star Mangled Banner?" ~Jimi Hendrix: July, 2009
Conversing with Gremlins ("Bare Necessities" ~Mowgli & Baloo): July, 2009
entry ~ chin up: November, 2009
Slates and Walls ("Another Brick in the Wall" ~Pink Floyd): October, 2009
"I meant to do my work today...." (Elton John): December, 2009
"Say what you need to say" ~john mayer: June, 2010
~How deep can you feel?~ Norm Strauss: July, 2010
Charlotte & Wilbur's "Ordinary Miracle" ~ Sarah McLachlan: November 11, 2010


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