Blessed Anger

non-subject: blessed anger
AWW ~ april 6, 2011

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Blessed anger. Is there such a thing?

The wind blows. Leaves rustle. Trees sway.

But when the wind is angry, destruction can rule.

Is destruction a blessed thing? Or is it evil? The context determines the answer.

What of self-destruction? Implosions, where the one within destroys the very thing in which she lives. Left is the rubble, the shattered pieces.

But if she is still there to witness the rubble, she has not been destroyed. The edifice she built was obviously not strong enough to remain.
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I visited the Knapp Family Counseling Facebook page after I'd gotten an email from Lema stating that John had started a LinkedIn discussion group entitled The Center for Healing Spiritual and Cultic Abuse which is the same name as John's newly formed non-profit. The CHSCA for short.

I wish I wouldn't look at John's internet activity. All it does is make my stomach turn. I'm having to accept that the CHSCA may be wildly successful. Even if it is, that doesn't negate my experience, nor the experiences of a handful of others who have been used by Knapp.

"Used." That's the word Mia responded with when I dared to pose the question, "I've wondered if John is an abuser?" It was a scary question for me to pose - the possibility that he is such. My fear of falsely accusing another runs deep in my veins. I'm not sure why. I guess it's not a bad fear to have.

Mia responded, "Interesting question. I've wondered the same. I do believe he is a user." Meaning a user of people, not of drugs. She didn't come across as bitter; but rather as simply stating something like, "Yes, the sky is blue...along with lots of other colors."

The sky. It's always been my favorite in nature. Well, not the sky itself, but what decorates the sky - clouds, colors, shapes, stars, suns, even contrails.

I recently wrote that some gurus' successes may soar and then create con-trails in flight. Vapor. Faux clouds. Con-trails.

I checked John's Knapp Family Counseling Facebook page last week. John posted an update which he started with the word "Warning" and then followed with the information that he was "closing shop" which I guess referred to his Knapp Family Counseling Facebook page, not his Knapp Family Counseling practice because he stated that he closed his practice in March so he can work full time as executive director and as the counseling therapist for his newly formed non-profit, the CHSCA.

Jacob Meacham, an ex-Way devotee who I have never met face-to-face nor have I ever communicated with him online, posted a response to John's Facebook update. I know of Jacob through an ex-Way online group. I joined it late in the game because most folks left the Way a decade or more before I left.

Jacob didn't post often on the ex-Way online group. I read he had some health problems, that his wife had some mental illness. The drama of humanity as it is.

In one of my private therapy sessions with Knapp from the previous couple years, he warned me about Jacob stating that Jacob was a "very bad man." Knapp warned me about a few people during my two years of therapy with him, endeavoring to protect me from potential harm.

Some months later after John's private warning to me about Jacob, John shared in the phone support group for cult-recovery that John facilitated at least part of the reason for John's warning about Jacob. It had to do with what a woman had told John in private about some of Jacob's supposed immoral activities that involved her which included trying to get her to perform sexual favors for others as a way to make money. Jacob had a small online sex-ring. I think the sexual favors were to be performed online. That night, there were three to five of us on the phone line for the support group.

Now, some one-and-a-half years later, I read this Facebook dialog between John and Jacob. Jacob asked John a question about the business side of the CHSCA.

In part of John's answer to Jacob's inquiry, John stated that there were some irrational rumors going around about the CHSCA.

Of all people John is telling Jacob there are irrational rumors about John's non-profit?

I highly doubt John has inquired of Jacob about the woman's allegations of Jacob's pimping from years back. I doubt that John disclosed to Jacob that John has shared those allegations with handful of others warning those others about Jacob.

I'd laugh if it weren't so sick.
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