The Team

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The Activist Forum wasn't very...active.

John had set up various sub-forums: a welcome or introduction area, theories discussion, creative expression, emotional support, take action, announcements, off topic, and a few others.

I posted in the welcome section responding to folks who chose to introduce themselves. Even though I felt a bit awkward I wanted to be me and I'm a friendly type. So I'd usually comment with a response hello and comment on something I'd read elsewhere from the member. Some responded back, some didn't. I was o.k either way.

Within a few weeks, myself and two other members, along with John, were working on an invitation letter for members to utilize if they chose, a springboard letter to invite folks who they thought might be interested. We also set some guidelines for the Activist Forum. John noted at the bottom of the guidelines something like, "Created by John, Lema, Ruth, and oneperson."

I was "oneperson;" that was my screen name.

I had read some of Ruth's comments around the web. She was an atheist, a skeptic, and apparently was some sort of doctor. I had gathered she was a medical doctor. I don't think that Ruth was her real name as she wanted to remain very anonymous. For all I know "she" could be a "he."

A year and a half earlier, when I was checking out John Knapp on the web shortly before and after I hired his services, I'd read on varoius sites where Ruth had defended John. John would get attacked online for posting response comments with links to alternative and critical information regarding Transcendental Meditation. Some of John's accusers had accused Ruth of actually being John, like an altar ego. I had wondered about that at the time I was checking John out. But after getting to know John, I thought it was a silly accusation. People could get quite paranoid on the web.

I knew Lema's writings from his various blogs. We had also communicated one-on-one via another anti-cult/cult discussion online group, where I had been suspect by some anti-cult activists. He had experienced similar, but worse, by some of the same people.

Lema lived in Russia and had previously been involved in a Bible-based totalistic group. English was not his first language, yet he was fluent with written English and had worked as a translator in his home country. He impressed me as being quite intelligent and very detailed.

At some point toward the beginning of the Activist forum, Lema and John had a disagreement on the online board. I hoped they could work it out because I liked them both and don't like feeling I have to choose sides; I hate that crap. I decided to chime in that maybe there was a misunderstanding due to a language barrier. Plus Lema communicated very linearly; John was more emotive. They had different styles of communication. I don't remember what the disagreement was, but it subsided and they worked it out.

After the four of us, John and Ruth and Lema and myself, worked out the guidlelines, John posted an announcement that if anyone would like to volunteer to be a moderator to let him know. With his other responsiblities, he really couldn't handle the board by himself. I thought about it, but really didn't feel qualified. That said, there wasn't much to moderate, at least currently.

Lema stated that he would be willing to moderate but was hesitant because English was not his first language. I volunteered to help him. Lema was an internet tech kind of guy, of which I know nothing about. So he took the role of the tech guy but that didn't negate his input on cults as he is quite knowledgable and had gone through a lot himself. I took the role of helping with verbiage.

John, myself, and Lema were a team. Interestingly, we all had the common experience of being accosted by the anti-cult community. We thought we were on the same page, not wanting to fall into the trap of over-responsive suspicion and paranoia.

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Note: The above is more from my personal journal and/or other writings and memoir as I moved through the inner turmoil after the Knapp trauma which happened the end of July/beginning of August, 2010. Most of the sharings are simply my thoughts at the time processing through events that took place with my ex-therapist, John M. Knapp, LMSW. To access an ongoing index, click here and scroll down to the section entitled June 26, 2011.
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