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This morning I completed bringing forward the private journal/memoir pennings I found on my computer in regard to my processing through the situation, the trauma, the emotional upheaval in regard (thus far) to my experience with my ex-cult-recovery counselor.
As stated in another blog entry, some material was not brought forth. Some probably will never be.
The pieces I have brought forth are only the top of the iceberg.
In July, 2011, "more" was brought to my attention, further validating my experiences. Yet with the validation came another almost tailspin of wrestling again with my own gremlins. What do I bring forth? How much? How do I walk away? Who can I trust? I promised to not share the "more" publicly. For now, that promise remains and probably always will. (I say "probably" because I seldom use absolutes like "never".) I'm thankful to the "more" individual for their sharing and insights.
How much more will come forth in the form of memoir and journaling surrounding all this? I do not know.
In bringing the pieces forward, I had to re-read them. That was embarrassing for me. Yet, I hope beyond hope, that anyone who reads any of this jibberish can see the deep impact the therapist/client relationship has. There is an intimacy that develops. It's not necessarily romantic, though that sometimes happens. That (romantic) was not the situation in my case.
In June, 2010, as I was endeavoring to navigate the dual relationship(s) with my now ex-therapist, I found the following short essay:
You and Your Therapist: Part II. Therapy Love written by Dr. Marlin S. Potash.
Perhaps Dr. Potash's essay will help some readers understand a snippet of the client perspective in a therapeutic relationship.
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To access an ongoing index regarding my experiences with my ex-therapist, click here and scroll down to the section entitled June 26, 2011.
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