Twist and Shout

Journal entry: 9/02/11

My inner state has calmed some since this past Saturday evening when I first read John Knapp's false accusations and allegations regarding me. He made false statements about others as well.

As I sat with my psychologist, who has witnessed everything in the past year - "everything" being my personal inner turmoil & distress, the handful of others who have come forward to me in private with their experiences, reading various emails, viewing online activity - we discussed that things didn't have to end up like this. Had Knapp cooperated with the State Board, he possibly could have gotten by this whole thing with a slap on the hand. Now, things look quite different.

The one blog, where Knapp fabricates his embellished story about me sexually propositioning him to meet in a motel room...well, as odd it may sound, has helped me in a sense. Helped me to see that I can't believe anything that Knapp writes or states. (I find it interesting that it's a "motel" instead of "hotel" room. Motels being a bit more seedy.)

I have wondered about John's phone call to me, back in August, 2010, the day after he verbally assaulted me. In that phone call, he stated I had contacted his assistant and said I wanted to speak with John. I never contacted his assistant and I wondered at the time if a message was relayed to John in error, if it was someone else who had called John and the message got mixed up.

Now, I think that too was a total fabrication. Just like Mr. Martin's statement that John posts about in one of his blogs.

It's all fabrications.

To me fabrications are different than twisting what happened. We all have our own perceptions of events. I don't call that perception "twisted." To me things are "twisted" when the facts are skewed in a malicious manner in order to justify or rationalize a wrong.

Fabrications on the other hand, are simply fiction, made up out of thin air. There are no facts to twist because the events simply never happened.

If someone is going to lie, I think I prefer fabrications over twists. They are easier for me to identify, less complicated.

That brings to mind "Twist and Shout." Perhaps "Reckless Speculation" should be renamed "Twist and Shout." Or maybe it could be a subtitle.