Look at what is

As I was descending the mountain yesterday, I had a mix of emotions.

I was savoring the feeling I often experience on one-day excursions into the wilderness.

Magic. Eternity's touch. Wind. Ocean of mountains. Stillness. The wild.

Cares of life that await once off the mountain. Longing for simplicity. Fear of not living up to cultural standards. Fear of ignorance of politics. Lack of confidence in my own ability to communicate. Fear of others' appraisals of me.

I home-eclectic-un(in that order)-schooled my children from birth through high school. Like any other field of life, there are people who paved the way. There are experts, so to speak. There are a slew of magazines, books, conferences on the 'right' way to raise a child, on the 'right' way to school or unschool a child. Opinions abound. Experiences abound. Studies? Not so sure if they abound, but there are studies on child rearing and schooling.

Opinions can make me nervous. I feel sure my own self-doubt plays into that nervousness. I often have to calm my mind and heart and tell myself, "Carol, just look at what is. Now what do you think? What do you feel? What is your assessment? If you didn't have the experts' opinions and opinions of those so adamantly confident running through your head, what would your thoughts be...independent of their thoughts? Look at what is."

I used to go through that 'exercise' with homeschooling and educational and child-rearing approaches and opinions. I'd have to go back to my heart, focus there, and see what I thought and what resonated with me. From there, I did my best to choose a course of action at that given time.

Isn't that the best any of us can do?

Advice, opinions, suggestions, judgement of others. I'm sure most people mean well; but when these people assume to know others (especially from cursory knowledge of the other) and spout their unsolicited advices, it can turn me off...or at least cause me to want to avoid such persons.

And it reveals, that maybe the adviser has a narrow viewpoint of life? Hasn't put themselves in the other person's shoes?

The unsolicited adviser might better serve the other by asking questions, instead of ass-you-ming the other wants their advice, or even that their advice applies.

It is madness at times...all these well-meaners with their oh-so-sage wisdom, without ever having walked in the other person's shoes.

On the 9-mile-probably-most-rugged-hike-I've-ever-hiked yesterday, my 21-year old son and I talked of life, of mountains, of music, of family, of culture, of beliefs, of education, of choices. It is a day I will always treasure.

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My son descends the ladder into the "subway."
~Grandfather Trail, NC