Below is an excerpt from Part Three of my Way story.
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Within a couple months after leaving The Way in October, 2005, I got deeply involved for over a year with an ex-Way online forum which provided much needed support and connections. However, as months went by, I found myself in a web of unhealthy relationships with some of the key participants and, later, in a maze of suspicion with false or mistaken allegations toward others and myself. The experience got under my skin, and at times I was filled with rage over (what appeared to me at the time as) hypocrisy. I felt like I was witnessing aspects of The Way but on the other side. I later realized that the us-them mentality exists on a continuum in social groups. And I began to more clearly understand human nature and behavior, regardless of the group one may be involved with. Despite my unpleasant experiences at the forum, I still think it provides good information for people seeking help in leaving The Way. And I would handle my circumstances and relationships differently now, in 2017, than I did when I was still fresh out of The Way.
In July, 2008, I hired a licensed mental health therapist who specialized in cult recovery. The main reason I hired him was because of what had happened at the ex-Way online forum. Two years later, in September, 2010, due to boundary violations (none were sexual), I filed an official complaint with the therapist's state licensing board. The state opened an investigation in December, 2010.
Filing that complaint was one of the hardest decisions of my life, and I had no idea the can of worms I had opened. Almost a year after I filed the complaint, the therapist tried to smear my character with vicious verbal assaults filled with false allegations and accusations in twelve different online rants and articles. A few months after that, I learned that I wasn't the only client he had harmed. (Click here to access an overview of events regarding my experience with the therapist.)
In certain respects the therapist abuse caused more extensive trauma than The Way. It was like the wounds from The Way developed from the top side of my soul as an erosion over time. Whereas the wounds from the therapist were thrust deeply from the underside with a steel dagger. A seeping wound from the top and a gaping wound from the bottom. At times it felt as if the wounds joined causing a chasm with two open ends, exposed and vulnerable to infection.
One of my friends, who also experienced therapist abuse (but not with the same therapist), calls it "sanctuary abuse." An apropos term in my opinion. Such abuse of power is not limited to only mental health therapists, but applies to any person in a trusted, authoritative position. It is a trauma that penetrates to one's very core.
Fortunately, my ex-therapist can no longer prey in the guise of a professional offering "healing for spiritual and cultic abuse." In January, 2014, his license was revoked. He was found guilty of professional misconduct along with negligence, incompetence on more than one occasion, and unprofessional conduct.
Not surprisingly, due to my experiences in the ex-cult and anti-cult and cult-recovery circles, I no longer participate in those type groups. My only involvement with cult-awareness involves a few contacts, sharing on my blogs, and a small amount of social media.
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Within seven months of leaving The Way, I got a job working as the manager of an art studio. That job was one of my best therapies as I communicated with artists of all stripes from all over the country. As of 2017 I still work as a studio assistant, but I stepped down from being the manager in 2012. In 2011 I established a pet-sitting business which has proven to be another therapeutic pathway.
By the end of 2009, my physical health had improved to the point that I was able to take up my teenage dream of long-distance hiking and backpacking. But, in 2011, that dream was indefinitely suspended when I developed widespread nerve damage bringing on losses I have deeply grieved and am still coming to terms with. As of 2017, managing the nerve damage is my biggest life challenge.
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Excerpt Series: Part Three of my Way story
1984 and onward: Loyalty ~ Exit ~ Aftermath ~ Life
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