My statements addressing John M. Knapp's allegations & accusations

Update: On January 14, 2014, New York state determined its ruling regarding Knapp's license. John M. Knapp was "...Found guilty of professional misconduct; Penalty: Revocation...Licensee was found guilty of practicing his profession with negligence, as well as with incompetence, on more than one occasion, and of unprofessional conduct." from January, 2014 Summaries of Regents Actions on Professional Misconduct and Discipline




Click the following links for what constitutes "professional misconduct" and "unprofessional conduct."
Professional Misconduct
Unprofessional Conduct
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My statements below were initially posted Sunday evening, August 28, 2011. Knapp's defamatory posts and comments had begun on August 25, 2011, and continued through the beginning of September, 2011. He skipped NY state, with no forwarding address, in mid-September, 2011.

Other than John Knapp, names are disguised so that search engines will not pick up those names.

To read an overview of events, click here: The Knapp Saga: For the Record
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August 28, 2011

Below are my statements in regard to accusations/allegations/false statements made by John M. Knapp, LMSW, in at least two of his blog posts on *The Center for Healing Spiritual and Cultic Abuse website which are also posted (and apparently tagged) on Facebook.

[*Click here to view an archived page of The Center for Healing Spiritual and Cultic Abuse (CHSCA) website. Original site address became defunct in October, 2011.]


 Knapps post title: "Beware Ca*** We*** -Cyberstalker"

My response: I have not engaged in cyber-stalking unless someone defines it as when a person reads the public online writings of someone else.

[Click here and scroll down to read a copy of Knapp's "Beware Ca*** We*** -Cyberstalker" post.
Defunct original link: http://thechsca.org/blogs/reckless-speculation/item/138-beware-carol-welch%E2%80%94cyberstalker]

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Knapp states: Below I discuss a campaign she has been on for over a year to discredit me. I find her tactics, as I discuss below, terroristic, defamatory, and sadistically cruel.

My response: I have not issued a "campaign" against Knapp. I have come forward publicly with my story beginning March 23, 2011, with a post where I retract my previous endorsements of John M. Knapp. That post is here: John M. Knapp, LMSW: Endorsements Retraction I also have shared links to my blog in a thread I started here: John M. Knapp LMSW Retraction & Center 4 Healing CHSCA
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Knapp states: Ca*** We*** lodged a complaint with my licensing board last Septmember and has made false and defamatory statements in many places on the Internet, calling those clients of mine she knows at home and making false claims, and also calling colleagues, friends, and board members.

My response: If any claims I have made are false and defamatory, that should come out in the investigation. I have never called John's clients at home making false claims. I haven't called John's clients at all, other than one who is(was) a friend. Nor, have I ever called colleagues, friends and board members with false claims.
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Knapp states: Carol has loudly proclaimed that she does not care if she is breaking defamation or slander laws saying, “I will not be silenced!”

My response: I have not engaged in defamation unless defamation is defined as me coming forward with what happened to me under Knapp's care and after Knapp severed, in a harmful and hostile manner, communication with me. I have not lied in bringing forth my story. I went public in March, 2011, at least in part because of Knapp's public solicitation (including funds in the amount of $10,000) regarding his newly formed non-profit.

I have come forth with my story (and only parts of it) on my blog and on a thread at an online discussion board at Modchat. Both my blog and Modchat are on public search engines; so perhaps that constitutes "loudly". I recently revealed the abuse on another online forum for support after a recent triggering event. To my knowledge I have never proclaimed that I do not care if I break defamation or slander laws. [To access where I have used the words, I will not be silenced, click here: toss & ripple search results: I will not be silenced.]
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Knapp states: NO ONE to my knowledge, certainly not me, has attempted to silence or discourage her in any way during the year she has been pounding away.

My response: I have not been "pounding away" for a year; I first came forward publicly with John's name in March, 2011. Knapp severed communication with me in August, 2010, in a hostile manner, making it clear to me not to contact him.

It is true that Knapp never tried to silence me. On the other hand, the effect of John's verbal abuse and actions toward me on August 2 and August 3, 2010, had the same effect as silencing. Most anyone who has weathered spiritual (or other) abuse knows well the internal programmed silencing mechanism.
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Knapp states: Two years ago she engaged in something very similar in attacking M****** D**** of Greasespot Café making disparaging, damaging, and defamatory statements about Mic**** and other Greasespot subscribers on public forums.

My response: I came forward with part of my Greasespot story on the Modchat discussion board. I did not lie in coming forward with what happened to me and others. I was not out to defame, disparage, or damage anyone. I did share my story.

My Greasespot Cafe experience was harmful and involved false accusations/allegations toward me and others.

The main reason I hired John Knapp in the summer of 2008 was because of what happened to me on Greasespot in latter 2006 and in 2007. (I had left The Way International in October, 2005, after 28 years.) John validated my Greasespot experiences. Partly due to John's influence, I later decided to start a blog sharing my story via memoir. That blog is here and is currently on hold: Freedom Trek
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Knapp states: Unfortunately, Ca*** We*** has continuously contacted my clients with false claims for over a year.

My response: I have not continually contacted John's clients for over a year. I have not contacted, to my knowledge, any of John's clients until about one week ago.

On August 22, 2011, after over one year of when I had to abruptly drop the phone support group and in process of me continuing to come forward on my blog regarding my experience with Knapp, I wrote the three people with whom I had been friends (they also being John's clients) during our support group. I wrote them on August 22, 2011, to let them know I had come and was coming forward with what happened over a year ago. (I have posted the email I sent to these three people at the end of this page.) I also emailed them on August 28 to let them know that *John's accusation that I made sexual propositions to him multiple times and wanted to meet in a motel room are totally false.

[*Click here and scroll down to read a copy of Knapp's sexual-proposition accusation post.
Defunct original link: http://thechsca.org/blogs/reckless-speculation/item/143-desperate-for-attention-as-ever-lema-nal-rejoins-the-attack]
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Knapp states: One such client suffers from schizoaffective disorder. She was deeply disturbed by Carol's insistent claims and went into crisis shortly thereafter.

My response: I assume John is referring to one of his clients with whom I had become good friends via John's phone support group. We talked almost every day on the phone, sometimes multiple times. She called me and I called her. When John exacted the harm on August 2, I had to drop from the support group. All I told her at that time (I was distressed and teary at the time) was that I wouldn't be in group anymore, that I had apparently committed "a huge faux pas" and John no longer wanted to communicate with me. (As my manner was, I took the blame of the verbal abuse that John exacted.) On our almost, if not, daily phone calls, I did not bring up the subject of John again (though I was in much emotional distress) until a month later in response to a question she had posed via email a couple weeks earlier asking if I had ever discovered what I had done that was so wrong. She had also via email and via phone expressed multiple times her concerns with Knapp's boundary issues as a therapist and that sometimes she felt like she was the therapist and John was the client. She shared that with me without knowledge of what I had experienced; I had not shared with her at that point about my experiences with Knapp. It was after that (about one month after John's abuse toward me) that I revealed to her a snippet of the situation and that I had hired my local psychologist to help repair the damage. My friend also brought up, again without me ever sharing what John had shared with me about his mental health diagnosis, that she wondered if John suffered with multiple personality disorder (also known as dissociate identity disorder or DID) and that at times she was concerned John might commit suicide. After she expressed that at least three times I shared with her more about the details of my experiences with John and part of what he had shared with me regarding his mental health diagnosis. [To read a memoir-type blog piece I wrote on June 6, 2011, regarding part of this click here: Confidential Wedges.]

As stated previously, my friend called me by phone and I called her; we were friends. Our contact was a two-way street. Our communication became less beginning sometime in October, 2010. My last conversation with her about John was in December, 2010, shortly after someone had contacted me about their harmful experience with John.

Since December, 2010, I have called my friend three(?) times to check in with her and see how she is doing. I think the last time was sometime in March, 2011. In those phone conversations we did not discuss anything to do with Knapp; his name was never mentioned. (She had told me in December that she had returned to Knapp for counseling.) She shared with me in our last phone call (around March) that she had recently been hospitalized; she did not tell me it had anything to do with my relationship with her or Knapp. We had not discussed Knapp since the beginning of December. To my recollection my friend never told me she suffered with schizoaffective disorder, but rather with another mental health challenge.

The above is the only contact I have had or initiated with any of John's clients, which were all friends in the support group.
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Knapp states: One individual set up spam filters to deal with the barrage of “research links” she received from Carol.

My response: I have no idea what this is referring to. I have not spammed anyone.
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Knapp's statement: They’ve also spread rumors to friends, colleagues, board members.

My response: I have not spread any rumors. I have been forthright on my blog about my experiences with Knapp.
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Knapp states: Two board members, K****** M***** and A****** P*******, respected clergymen, recently abruptly resigned without offering the courtesy of relaying what the allegations were so that I could answer them. I guess Carol has a convincing way about her.

My response: I did not convince anyone to resign or take action in resigning from John's board. Anyone who has done so, has done so independently without any convincing from me.
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Knapp states: A fellow professional, M***** P*******, wrote me saying Ca*** We*** reported I made derogatory comments about Monica’s mental health. She was rightly concerned. Monica asked for my response—threatening she would complain to the National Association of Social Workers. Carol’s statement was false. I said so to Monica. I haven’t heard from her since.

My response: John stated in a private phone conversation with me around November, 2009, that he "wouldn't be surprised if Monica has borderline personality disorder." John later made a similar statement, in August, 2010, via email regarding L** (Le**) N** when he called L** "an apparent severe borderline."
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Knapp states: Within days after this three-way disagreement occurred, Carol posted the details, including my name, on her personal blog and at least one other public forum, stating she was considering legal action against me. Both my supervisor and lawyer advised me to not contact Carol in any way. Her psychologist did not contact me for her records or to discuss the situation. I attempted to contact her psychologist to transfer records as is the normal practice, but for whatever reason he chose not to answer my attempts.

My response: To my recollection, I did not publish John's name on my blog or elsewhere until March, 2011. To my knowledge I never stated I was considering legal action other than perhaps submitting a complaint to the state board (and I don't think I even stated that). My psychologist never received any messages or communication from John Knapp.
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Knapp states: Carol herself posted these statements publicly a week after our disagreement:

"I had been a client with a therapist for over two years. The therapist is very good at their profession and expertise. I had graduated (for lack of a better word) from therapy almost a year ago, but still remained in close contact with the therapist. (I think, in reality, I hadn’t really graduated.) ....

As I’ve pondered more the entire situation, taking in all the context of the previous weeks/months as well, I don’t think it was therapist abuse. I don’t think this therapist abuses their clients. They didn’t abuse me in any way, shape, or form during therapy. They helped me tremendously."

My response: I concur that I did post the above, never identifying myself or John at the time, on a mental health support board. I posted the above two days within a week after John's abusive emails to me. I was processing and trying to come to terms with what happened. As time went on and more was revealed, it became more clear what had taken place. I still say, as in my complaint, that when our relationship was therapist/client John was a tremendous help and I considered him an excellent counselor. When the dual relationships began (as noted in my complaint), I became confused. The end result was John's abusive language and actions toward me.
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Knapp states: I also went further to allow her to not pay for months on end when she claimed financial hardship.

My response: I have Paypal records showing that I paid John for his services through the end of June, 2010. I never received pro bono service from him for months on end. July, 2010, is the only month I did not pay John.
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Knapp states: Carol was effusive in her praise of her work with me, both publicly and in private, for well over a year and a half.

My response: I concur that I was effusive in my praise of John's work, until his verbal and emotional abuse. Even then, it took me months to ferret through the damage and harm. I am still in process of healing from that.
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Knapp states: Finally, Carol’s attacks on my character started shortly after I made it clear to her that I would not engage in a sexual relationship of any kind with her, despite her oft-repeated requests after our therapeutic relationship ended.

My response: I never ever, ever, ever requested any sexual relationship with John Knapp. This is an outright fabrication. I never propositioned him in any way, shape, or manner; nor did I ever request for John and I to meet in a motel room in NY. My husband and I do not have an open marriage and I never stated that to John. The conversation John claims took place (which he posts *here) never happened.

[*Click here and scroll down to read a copy of Knapp's sexual-proposition accusation post.
Defunct original link: http://thechsca.org/blogs/reckless-speculation/item/143-desperate-for-attention-as-ever-lema-nal-rejoins-the-attack
It was from Knapp's comment here (link) that he later composed his *sexual-proposition accusation which he then posted on his CHSCA website.]
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Knapp states: She has also engaged the support of M***** P*******.

My response: I never "engaged the support" of Dr. P*******. Dr. P******* and I never directly communicated about this subject in private until the weekend of 8/27/11. Prior to that, she had knowledge of the circumstances through my blog and the mutual acquaintance of L** (L***) N**. I never sent her any of the email exchanges between Knapp and I [until after his defamatory online public posts]. After John Knapp's posting of the defamatory blog posts on August 26, 2011, and following, I sent Monica a copy of one email that Knapp wrote to me in the summer of 2010. Dr. P*******'s defense on my behalf after Knapp posted his defamatory blog posts about me and her was an independent action she took without me ever contacting her.

[This response was added to this blog on 9/01/11 after reading some of the statements Knapp makes in another post. Click here and scroll down for a copy of that post.
Defunct original link: http://thechsca.org/blogs/reckless-speculation/item/145-monica-pignotti-bfw-120-days-same-subject-and-counting]

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Following are my responses to the section in John Knapp's post subtitled "Internet Rumors: Putting Them to Rest"

Knapp states the alleged rumor: I use coercive influence on my clients, friends, and colleagues. [Ca*** We***/ l*** n**}

My response: To my recollection I never stated the above. Perhaps I did, but I don't know where.
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Knapp states the alleged rumor: I myself have DID. (Ca*** We***)

My response: I have never publicly shared what John revealed in an email to me on June, 10, 2010. For various reasons I have shared privately with certain parties John's diagnosis that he shared with me via email on June 10, 2010. I never took it lightly when I revealed that to anyone. I did not reveal it to anyone until after John's abuse toward me. I only reveal it here (for the fist time in a public venue) because John brings it up.

In John's email to me on June, 10, 2010 he states: "The last doctor I talked with, and my current therapist, have at least come to a diagnosis that they agree with—independently. They believe my main diagnosis should have been PTSD way back when. And that I have a decent case of DID. Yes, complete with alters." (At this point, I will not publicly post John's few subsequent sentences in that email that share additional details.)
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Knapp states the alleged rumor: I “have a problem with ___.” Fill in the blank with your favorite cult-awareness organization or crusader. (M*** K*******, L*** N**, Ca*** We***)

My response: In multiple conversations with John he spoke disparagingly of the ICSA. In the phone support group he brought up that there was in fighting (or something to that effect). In an email he referred to the cult-recovery field as as an "abysmal failure." In a private phone conversation with me he stated that anyone coming out of the ISCA ilk has a paranoid mindset. I was led to believe that ICSA was not what it appears to be. Perhaps I read into some of John's words.
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Knapp states the alleged rumor: I don’t have the credentials to suggest ideas or treatment.

My response: I don't know who stated this. I didn't.
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Knapp states the alleged rumor:It’s a conflict of interest for me to run the Center for Healing and offer therapy as well. (Ste*** Has***, M*** K*******, Ca*** We***, L*** N**)

My response: I am not aware that I ever stated this. Others did share this with me.
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Knapp states the alleged rumor: I have practiced unethically and traumatized a client. (Ca*** We***, ad nauseum)

My response: I have experienced deep trauma due to John's verbal abuse and actions. That can be corroborated by my medical doctor, psychologist, and a handful of others. Anyone can read my complaint overview and decide if they think John's treatment toward me was unethical.

I supplied with my complaint a voluminous amount of emails as evidence. I later provided my Paypal records showing payment of my sessions with Knapp. It is up to the Board to decide if those emails are sufficient evidence or not. An anonymous version of my complaint overview can be read here: Complaint Overview. That version does not include the emails provided as evidence nor the accompanying summaries of the various incidents.
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Knapp states the alleged rumor: Practicing counseling over the Internet is unethical.(L*** N**, Ca*** We*** via New York State Office of the Professions investigator)

My response: To my knowledge I have never stated that practicing counseling over the internet is unethical.
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Knapp states the alleged rumor: I offer miracle cures.

My response: I don't know who stated that John offers miracle cures. It wasn't me. I concur that John presented to me in therapy that his goal was for me to fire him and have the strength to provide my own validation and therapy (so to speak) for myself.

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Following are blog posts by Dr. Monica Pignotti addressing Knapp's August/September, 2011, online posts:


Following are blog posts by Lom Nal addressing Knapp's August/September, 2011, online posts and Lom's personal experience:


Following is Shane Bugbee's CHSCA resignation post:

Following are additional posts by me addressing allegations by John Knapp that I did not address in my response above :


Here are  links to copies of two of John Knapp's blog posts where he makes the accusations/allegations that I refer to in the body of this above blog entry, "My statements addressing John M. Knapp's allegations & accusations":

Following are links to copies of other posts written by John Knapp:
*****

Following is the email I mention above that I sent on August 22, 2011, to the people with whom I participated in Knapp's support group. We all considered one another as friends while in the group. As noted above, one participant and I became good friends. I have changed names to protect identities.

[begin email]
Hey Cheryl and Al and Louise,

I hope this email finds ya'll and your families doing well.

I think about everyone from time to time and say a little prayer.

I also still have some pain when I think of the group sessions from over a year ago, because of how it all ended for me.

I'm writing this email to come forward about a bit of what happened. Louise knows some of it. I do not know what (if anything) John has ever shared with ya'll about what went down over a year ago.

The last time I think that Cheryl heard my voice was on Monday, July 26, 2010, on the group phone call that night. (I don't know if Al was there, but I think Cheryl and Louise were.) I was crying so hard I couldn't speak and just had to leave. I was crying because I was having deep anxiety and stress regarding a project I was working on with John and my confusion about John's and my relationships at that time. (Nothing romantic, but rather roles in which I had volunteered to help John with some projects.) I felt these were things I couldn't bring up in the group. I wrote John that night about my emotional turmoil. He and I talked the next day...and all was good.

But in less than a week, John cut off all communication with me in a harmful manner, after accusing me of things I was totally unaware that I had done (and that I didn't do). That same day that John cut off communication with me, I posted on Coffee and Pretzels that some things had come up and I wouldn't be at the group sessions anymore. I couldn't be; John wanted nothing to do with me and had made that clear in his harmful emails to me.

That all happened on August 2, 2010. I filed a formal complaint with the state of NY at the end of September, 2010. The investigation is still in process.

It was and has been a horrible experience for me. A handful of people have contacted me via email about some of their experiences with John as well.

I began coming forward publicly this past March, 2011, when John began to solicit funds and people for the Center for Healing Spiritual and Cultic Abuse.

I am now coming forward with all of ya'll (though Louise does know some about the situation). I have posted links below if you are interested in reading any of them. I understand if you never read any of them, nor do I expect you to read any of them. I also understand if you never respond to this email or have anything to say about the matter.

Why am I sending this email to ya'll now? I do not know...other than it's been on my mind now for 3 days. I'm not really looking for advice, suggestions, etc., or even to discuss the matter. Though I can maybe answer any questions you might have. Perhaps I just want ya'll (to at least have the opportunity) to know what happened and why I left the group in such an abrupt manner. It was painful beyond words for me to drop from the group; I again felt an outcast and am continuing to work through feelings that I am tainted. The whole scenario still causes me trouble and I am still seeing a psychologist regarding and working through the damage and trauma.

So, that's that I guess.

Now I will timidly hit "send" on my computer screen.

To life and hope,
~carol

Links:

This week, I posted an email I sent to someone who recently wrote me asking about John. In that email I quote a few other people who have had similar experiences as I with John, I share a little more about my situation that isn't in the complaint, and I share a little more about what I think about John and his ethics of practice. That link is here:
Out of Hiding: 'Why shouldn't I hire John M. Knapp, LMSW?'

I recently posted the complaint summary overview that I submitted to NY State last year. It best outlines the events that led to John's harmful emails and cutting me off. If you are interested in reading that, the link is here:
Complaint Overview

My endorsements retraction post that I posted in March (when I first came forward) is here:
John M. Knapp, LMSW: Endorsements Retraction
It includes more information and other links.

Links to other things I have written about the trauma can be found here:
Journey Through Memoir (an index)
In order to access the pieces in which I have come forward with some of the information, one has to scroll down to the section entitled "June 26, 2011: Below is an index to blog entries about what happened with John M. Knapp, LMSW, my previous cult-recovery counselor."

[end email]

 *****

[As of September 29, 2011, the CHSCA website, (which is linked above and within the body of this address has been, at least for the time being, taken down. However, the site (and articles) can still be accessed through an ISP address.To read a few of my thoughts regarding the 'disappearance' of the CHSCA site, click here: Similes & Metaphors.  (As of January 8, 2012, the ISP address (184.154.238.114), has been suspended.) ]

 [In November, 2012, a hearing was held in NY State before Knapp's Licensing Board. I was a witness for the state. Knapp did not show nor provide representation at the hearing.]

[In December, 2012, I brought forward for public record on toss & ripple copies of Knapp's original posts. Link: For the Record]

 [In January, 2014, NY state determined its ruling. Knapp was found guilty of professional misconduct, along with negligence, incompetence, on more than one occasion, and unprofessional conduct. His license was revoked. Link: Ruling ]


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