Embracing Change

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Click here to read about an introduction to memoir: Journey through Memoir: Introduction .
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Non-subject: "confronting change"

I'll take that as a leap.

Colors of a room. Junky closet unjunked. Caterpillar to butterfly. Dusk to dawn. Puzzle pieces to picture.

"Confront" makes me tense. I'd rather "embrace" change.

It's like when I embrace it, I can own it. By owning it I can touch it, examine it, love it or hate it. I can know it and then let it go.

When has there been a time that I changed?
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My 15-year old son stood in our kitchen, listening to (or rather enduring) my words. I so badly wanted him to embrace what I was learning, this new Ministry. I wanted him to feel, to know, to see that Christian Family Fellowship was a way out. I wanted him to be in the same mindset with me, to experience the excitement.

I wanted him, I wanted my family, to leave The Way. I wanted them to see through my eyes; there were greater vistas beyond the so-called 'walls of Zion.' How could I make them see!!!??!!

"Mom," my son said, "you are becoming the very thing that you have left, that you wanted to leave. Back off, please."

Inside I was stunned, a jolt to my neurons.

I only responded, "You're right."

To force my family to change would be going against what every fiber of my being was screaming for, what every scream was painstakingly grasping for.

I had to wait.

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Click here to view the memoir index: Journey through Memoir (an index).
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