aww ~ 03/15/10
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Of course the first thing that comes to mind is what my husband used to say. What I used to say. What other former Way followers used to say. What current Way followers may still say.
"There is nothing better out there."
There is nothing better, no Word of God more pure, no doctrine more accurate, no truer truth to be found, outside the "Household of The Way," outside the "walls of Zion."
We were fed and we swallowed. The "walls of Zion" were our protection from the Adversary.
When catastrophe struck outside the Household, it was the victim's fault for having left the walls or having never been there to truly understand the "greatness of the rightly-divided Word of God." They were open game for the devil and his cohorts.
When catastrophe struck one of the faithful inside the Household it was due to the victim's unwaivering stand on the Word. Their stalwart, dog-soldier, staked-in-Truth foundation brought on attacks from the Adversary, the Devil, the Old Serpent. His spiritual power ruled the systems of the world and he was always after the Word and the true believers. If the faithful victim had the proper believing, they could overcome the circumstance.
Samuel was around 20 when he had the car wreck. Samuel was alone and drove into a tree that apparently sliced the car in half. Speculation was that he fell asleep behind the wheel. I think he was dead on arrival.
Samuel was a faithful believer in the Way Household, a good student at college, an empathetic young man. His parents were faithful Way Corps grads.
The tragedy was explained in its tidy box, even by Samuel's dad. I heard him with my own ears, at Samuel's memorial service, state that Samuel got tricked by the Adversary and wasn't listening the night of his wreck. If Samuel had had his spiritual antennae on, he wouldn't have wrecked.
It was Samuel's fault, his lack of believing. We were all culpable to such; no one was immune.
How very tragic to have to have tidy answers for all life's bizarre events.
I wonder if Samuel's dad was simply still in shock. I hope he was able to grieve. The Way wasn't too big on allowing folks to grieve. Grieving was to be limited, thirty days was the rule of thumb. After that, time to move on, get over it, live life to the fullest.
That's what Doctor taught from the Old Testament when God tells Joshua, "Moses my servant is dead!" Eastern custom for grieving, we were taught, was thirty days.
So the fuck what. Why should we allow customs to rule our inner hearts?
Within a couple months after Samuel's tragic car wreck, I was sitting beside Samuel's mom at a leadership function. We were all eating together at a restaurant. The seating was arranged so that a private conversation could be had between persons seated side-by-side.
She began sharing with me how she was doing; she was struggling. Of course she was.
She had been having a difficult time accepting the struggle, honoring the grief, until Emogene from Way Headquarters gave her permission to grieve, saying it was o.k. to grieve; it was normal.
Of course it's normal.
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Click here to read an introduction to memoir: Journey through Memoir: Introduction
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