Recently, I've read (again) that people share to warn others, to help others, to inspire others.
In one piece I recently read regarding the why and how-to of memoir, the author went into the reasons for memoir...one of the main reasons being to teach lessons of life, or something to that effect.
Huh? Is that one of the main reasons to write memoir? If so, I'm obviously an outsider.
I understand that learning about life lessons can be a result of reading memoir. But it's not why I read memoir; nor it is why I choose to share parts of my story publicly.
I didn't read further in the article; I was already turned off.
I don't blog to necessarily teach.
I don't blog to necessarily warn.
I don't blog for some noble or altruistic motive.
Why do I blog? I've asked myself that questions thousands(?) of times.
I write because, at least for now and for past decades, writing is like breathing to me. I attribute journaling to having a profound influence in my life.
But journaling is private; it is not for public eyes.
Why do I now make many of my pennings public on a couple little-known blogs among millions?
As I've written in other blog posts, the answers are multifaceted.
This morning in my blog search box, I typed "why do i blog?" and clicked "Go!" That was a vain attempt; I quit counting the results at 50-something blog posts that showed up.
To quote a few snippets from a few past various blog-posts dribblings...
- "...One facet, currently, and perhaps the main facet, is to give voice and (dare I add) to find my voice...whatever that exactly means at any given moment...Why do I like the color purple? Why do I like chocolate?"
- "Is it a selfish act that I speak out loud? Is it a selfish act to write out loud?...Perhaps part of my coming forward has to do with the deafening silence from the places beyond me of which I have no control..."
- "...Again, I find myself back at the same question I have asked myself 1000 times. Why do I blog? Why do I put my inner thoughts on public display? Why does an artist display their art for others eyes to see, ears to hear, hands to touch?...What an ugly world it would be if we chose to not be."
- "...Sometimes I want to shout with all my lungs can muster, 'Don't hold me down!' And then quietly state, 'Let me be me.'...What I write may not be popular. What I write may sound unreal. What I write may bore someone to tears. It doesn't matter. It's my story. For me to write is part of my life. I cannot hide it in my journals and in secret places anymore."
- "I was thinking last night that perhaps I am "done." Perhaps I am done writing....But what then would I do? I thought I had so much to write about. My doubts are currently high. Not that they were low before. I have continually struggled with the gremlins in my head telling me I make things up and questioning my motives as to why I write what I write."
- "... Whatever is written and read, the reader interprets as the reader will. The reader brings their life experiences with them to the page....Why do I, Carol, write publicly?... This is something I come back to again and again. If I were to create, design, display a poem or a piece of music or work of art - why do I put in on display? That would be a good question for any artist, would it not?..."
But today Carol, why do you question this again? To that I have an answer.
Because I again read someone's reasons for public writing which are to teach and educate and share life lessons.
And I then feel my reasons are less noble.
And they probably are.
And that is okay.
6 comments:
Could it be that you are tired of clergy and therapists telling you what to think and how to feel and you are daring to think for yourself, to feel your own feelings and to express them in creative ways? Just a wild guess.
Ah yes, the why question. :)
I need to write. It mentally and emotionally helps me to write. Out of this others find help. (Or get angry) :)
I have little to teach anyone. I am one man with a story to tell. I would never encourage someone to walk my path. They must walk their own.
Make sense?
Totally makes sense Bruce.
One I have a friend that told me I was brave to blog and I responded either that or I'm stupid. *grin*
<3
Interesting thoughts as usual Carol. I agree with Bruce, writing personal feelings helps me mentally and emotionally but I wouldn't say it could help others.
I suppose I was born with an artistic inclination and need to express my creativity.
I've gone though a number of dedicated creative fazes in my long life including music, painting, writing, and the most satisfying...parenting. The only time I felt I was accomplishing something I wanted to last for centuries were my children and my clay pottery faze.
With five kids and lots of grandchildren that wish should come true. I painstakingly painted on over 150 intricate clay pieces and if it doesn't get broke, it should last also.
As for what I have written, I don't expect it to last any longer than I do.
Do it for your own reasons Carol, no one else can or should tell you what those are.
I like what Bruce said. I have on several occasions felt like deleting the whole thing, but for some reason, don't.
Thanks for the reads and insightful thoughts.
I was thinking yesterday, "If blog publishing wasn't around, what would I have done/be doing with all my writing? Would it all be hidden in journals, or would I actually submit something for hard-copy publishing?"
I still don't quite get the 'need' to express some of my inner thoughts publicly. Yet, people do it all the time, especially in these internet days. The why probably isn't that important. But that an individual continues to express is important, if not vital; and blogging for whatever reason, is one of those venues for now.
The why and questioning my motives is also residual from past indoctrination; ie: part of that being that all should be done for the glory of god and for some sort of higher good; any less is self-serving at best. (uugh)
Sometimes my decades-long self-doubt/self-blame affliction gets stuck on the old 45-record in my head. It's been spinning again lately.
Thanks again ya'll.
To discovery and writing and blogging and art and courage and expression...and life...and blogging friends...
<3
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