It's a rare day when I post anything political. Today is an exception.
I think it is horrific that Donald Trump is our president-elect.
But I understand how it happened.
When people are vulnerable and thus in pain, they look to alleviate that pain. It's normal. And sometimes we get taken by a con artist or, dare I say - a cult leader. And if we have never had an up-close and personal relationship with a sociopath/psychopath/full-blown narcissist we may not be able fully fathom the lies that are spoken as absolute truths. And even the truths a psychopath might speak are still lies in the sense that everything, everything, is about the psychopath's power and appearance. The psychopath will never admit they are wrong, unless it somehow increases their power. (It's a personal life lesson that I had a hard time wrapping my head around, until I experienced it up close and personal. Even then, it's unbelievable.)
My opinion is that Donald Trump is an outright psychopath, or at the very least...sociopath, though the two terms are used interchangeably.
A typical comeback to the Trump versus Clinton question is, "Well, isn't Hillary as bad as or worse than Trump, herself being a sociopath or psychopath?"
Perhaps, though I have my doubts after doing a bit more research on Hillary's life. But if she is, she is lower on the scale than Trump, in my opinion.
In one of my recent face-to-face conversations with a Trump voter, they told me, "I didn't vote for Trump; I voted against Hillary."
I thought on that a little bit and later said, "That's bullshit. I understand where you are coming from because I voted for Hillary to keep Trump from winning. But I still voted for Hillary. And you voted for Trump. Twisting the language is what cults do. It's wrong and manipulative." They agreed and changed their statement to, "Yes. I voted for Trump."
Their main reasons? The establishment Republicans and Democrats in DC are both corrupt. The voter thinks Trump might cut through some of that, though maybe the voter is starting to see that they might be in error as Trump gathers his cabinet and adviser picks from mostly Wall Street and the military. They also think Trump might get trade policies changed and our economics moving on the up, more so than Hillary would. I believe they have been duped. Time will tell.
I said, "I get that. But Bernie's influence got Hillary to change her mind on TPP, and some other policies. I believe she would have seen it through on her changed stances on TPP and some of the other policies as the people would have held her accountable for her words." But that voter really despises Hillary.
The voter said they would have voted for Kasich, if he had been the Republican nominee. And, interestingly, they would have probably voted Bernie over Trump, if Bernie had won the Democratic ticket. I say "interestingly" because Bernie is farther left than Hillary. But that voter believes Bernie is one of the more authentic folks on Capitol Hill, thus possibly able to forge a crack or two in the establishment corruption.
This morning, I read this article about an 18-year old whom Trump went after on social media: "This is what happens when Donald Trump attacks a private citizen on Twitter."
I wonder how a Trump supporter and defender would feel if this happened to their daughter. I imagine they'd feel like killing the guy. Not that they would, but that is how they might feel.
What about on an international scale when Trump tweets his thoughts that would better be left out of public view until he has time to consult others who deal with and understand the delicacy of relations with international powers? How do those powers feel, powers that can have catastrophic consequences? I think it is beyond concerning.
I hope the more level-headed Republicans in Congress can help keep in check the effects of Trump's tweets and get him to put the brakes on. But Trump is 70 years old; he won't change. Plus, who he is, is who he is. As Jeremiah 13:23a states: "Can the Ethiopian change his skin, or the leopard his spots?" It is naive to think Trump will change when he takes office.
Showing posts sorted by relevance for query trump. Sort by date Show all posts
Showing posts sorted by relevance for query trump. Sort by date Show all posts
December 13, 2016
February 1, 2017
Turn this train's trajectory...
I read an article last night and this morning that I must share. It articulates so clearly what is happening right before our eyes, right in front of all the world. It's a long read, but worth it.
Here is a link to the article: How to Build an Autocracy
The author is David Frum, "a senior editor at The Atlantic. In 2001–02, he was a speechwriter for President George W. Bush."
The article starts by painting a picture of the possible state of the USA in 2021, just 4 years away. It's not exaggerated. That's what is alarming about the article.
A few paragraphs from the article, paragraphs which are not fiction, but happening now around the world:
~*~
Throughout 2016, as my fatigue and cognitive ability allowed, I read articles and opinions from different sides of the political spectrum, from far left to middle to far right. Trump's extreme narcissism was blatant and concerned me.
But it was an article I read in The New Yorker that struck home on a personal level: Donald Trump's Ghostwriter Tells All. As I was reading the article the first time, it was like reading about my harmful experience and relationship with John Knapp, my previous mental health therapist whose license was revoked in 2014. Then when I got to the end of the article and read Trump's final words to Schwartz, my mouth dropped open in an "OMG" moment -- "...[Trump] said, 'Have a nice life.' Trump hung up." "Have a nice life" were Knapp's exact last words to me in a 2010 email. Knapp also used those same words with others when his mask cracked publicly online in 2011. I'm no Tony Schwartz and Knapp is no Donald Trump, but Trump's manipulative tactics are the same and oh so recognizable.
Still, I thought, Carol, you might be projecting. So, keep calm.
I watched debates between Trump and Clinton, noticing Trump's body language and facial expressions, his disregard for social norms, his outright blatant lies with his pretense of honesty and feigned cause for the working citizen. I continued to read from various opinions and articles. It seemed to me that this was all a game to Trump -- another game to win. And unfortunately, he won.
~*~
A coupleish weeks ago I logged into Twitter and read Trump had directed the National Park System to delete some Tweets (that were factually correct) about Trump's 2017 inaugural crowd size. The Tweets were fresh; it had just happened. The deletion directive alarmed me. Information control. That's what cults do. I waited and read a bit more to see what had played out. Okay. Maybe those Tweets were inappropriate. If I worked for a company and tweeted something like that making the boss look bad, of course the company would want it deleted. I pondered a bit, But this isn't a company. And what was Tweeted isn't false.
Within a day or so, I read that certain information regarding climate change was being deleted from the White House web site. I read up on that and learned each Administration changes the website, archiving the previous Administration's pages. But, these are climate facts. Should they just delete that? Shouldn't they leave that information and then present their own information later alongside that information? It didn't sit well with me.
When I logged into Twitter last Wednesday night after my perfect day at Grayson Highlands, I saw the alternate Twitter account for the National Park System. A perfect ending to a perfect day. Since then, more alternate accounts have been started. Go guys and gals!
Information control and access is a huge red flag.
Last weekend when I read Trump's statement which he made as the protests in response to people with legal papers being detained were live at airports and the confusion and chaos of it all, my jaw dropped yet again. Trump said, “It’s working out very nicely. You see it at the airports, you see it all over, it’s working out very nicely, and we’re going to have a very strict ban, and we’re going to have extreme vetting, which we should have had in this country for many years.” I shouted at the walls,"This guy is fucking nuts!" It was obvious his Executive Order was not "working out nicely;" airports were in mass confusion.
Then there was Stephen Bannon's appointment to the National Security Council and the decision for the NSC Director and the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs to opt out of the meetings where their attendance is deemed unnecessary. (Who makes that decision? Trump and Bannon?) I've listened to interviews of and read articles regarding people who have previously served in those behind-door meetings across various administrations. From what I've read and heard, never in the history of the USA, has a political adviser been allowed on the NSC -- and especially someone like Bannon.
Then, among other things, there are Trump's Wall Street billionaire cabinet picks and his refusal to publish his tax returns and the continual attempted reversals on environmental regulations and his rude treatment and words toward some of our allies and toward the free press. Trump's beyond-the-pail list continues.
I'm in favor of trimming government overreach where it needs trimming but not in the manner that Trump is going about it. I'm also in favor of regulations to keep capitalist greed in check. Trump is extending his own type of overreach. People matter, damn it. Our protected public lands matter. Clean water, clean air -- they matter. Foreign relationships matter. Access to information matters. Diplomacy and decency matter. Words from the leader of a world super-power matter.
Chaos, confusion, shock factor -- all manipulative control tactics.
The whole scenario and trajectory is alarming. In my recent letters to my senators, I asked them to please slow down this train.
~*~
These storms of Trump-chaos and his self-centered, extreme narcissism (among other characteristics and patterns) are reminiscent of The Way and of my personal harmful experience with my former mental health therapist, John Knapp. With The Way and with Knapp the bold lies and twisted truths were mind-boggling beyond belief, stated with absolute confidence and a pretense of honesty.
But this isn't The Way. This isn't my personal harmful experience with an unstable mental health therapist. This is our country. At times I just scream inside for people to WAKE THE FUCK UP to see what is happening. This is not normal!
As noted above, I am well aware that my internal responses to Trump's election are influenced by my personal experiences. I have wondered if my internal responses are overreactions. I no longer think they are.
I have a good friend who voted for Trump mainly because of their disdain for Hillary. As I've shared some of my concerns, the response has been along the lines of, "We'll see. There are checks and balances in the government. It will all be okay."
I think it will only end up okay if we can curb and redirect the disastrous trajectory of Trump's train.
I am deeply concerned at what is happening in our country. We've seen more moderate Republicans who were once critical of Trump, be pulled into his maelstrom of lunacy, dismissing or rationalizing Trump's outrageous actions, words, and lies and endeavoring to downplay his behavior. I had thought maybe those representatives would be a sane voice to help curb Trump's maniacal tendencies.
This does not mean that I think past politicians in our country have not been corrupt or greedy or liars. I think the problems (in context of our country) go back to the founding of this country which, in my opinion, was based more on greed than on freedom. In the past month, one of the things I've reread to help me understand what is going on now is Chapter 5: A Kind of Revolution from the book A People's History of the United States. Some of the parallels to what is happening now are almost uncanny. (Link to a pdf: A People's History of The United States.) Chapter 5 shares some of history, motivations, influences, and tactics behind the American Revolutionary War and the Founding of the United States -- documented history that was left out or only mentioned in the US History classes that I attended during my schooling years.
I've never been very politically active, other than casting my vote. Beginning in December, 2016, as much as I'm able, I started calling and writing government officials. And I've taken up more conscious wishing, praying, hoping for our country's strength and peace to any vital forces that might exist and have the power to influence.
~*~
Here is a link to the article: How to Build an Autocracy
The author is David Frum, "a senior editor at The Atlantic. In 2001–02, he was a speechwriter for President George W. Bush."
The article starts by painting a picture of the possible state of the USA in 2021, just 4 years away. It's not exaggerated. That's what is alarming about the article.
A few paragraphs from the article, paragraphs which are not fiction, but happening now around the world:
"...What has happened in Hungary since 2010 offers an example—and a blueprint for would-be strongmen. Hungary is a member state of the European Union and a signatory of the European Convention on Human Rights. It has elections and uncensored internet. Yet Hungary is ceasing to be a free country.
The transition has been nonviolent, often not even very dramatic. Opponents of the regime are not murdered or imprisoned, although many are harassed with building inspections and tax audits. If they work for the government, or for a company susceptible to government pressure, they risk their jobs by speaking out. Nonetheless, they are free to emigrate anytime they like. Those with money can even take it with them. Day in and day out, the regime works more through inducements than through intimidation. The courts are packed, and forgiving of the regime’s allies. Friends of the government win state contracts at high prices and borrow on easy terms from the central bank. Those on the inside grow rich by favoritism; those on the outside suffer from the general deterioration of the economy. As one shrewd observer told me on a recent visit, 'The benefit of controlling a modern state is less the power to persecute the innocent, more the power to protect the guilty.'..."
"...Outside the Islamic world, the 21st century is not an era of ideology. The grand utopian visions of the 19th century have passed out of fashion. The nightmare totalitarian projects of the 20th have been overthrown or have disintegrated, leaving behind only outdated remnants: North Korea, Cuba. What is spreading today is repressive kleptocracy, led by rulers motivated by greed rather than by the deranged idealism of Hitler or Stalin or Mao. Such rulers rely less on terror and more on rule-twisting, the manipulation of information, and the co-optation of elites..."
The transition has been nonviolent, often not even very dramatic. Opponents of the regime are not murdered or imprisoned, although many are harassed with building inspections and tax audits. If they work for the government, or for a company susceptible to government pressure, they risk their jobs by speaking out. Nonetheless, they are free to emigrate anytime they like. Those with money can even take it with them. Day in and day out, the regime works more through inducements than through intimidation. The courts are packed, and forgiving of the regime’s allies. Friends of the government win state contracts at high prices and borrow on easy terms from the central bank. Those on the inside grow rich by favoritism; those on the outside suffer from the general deterioration of the economy. As one shrewd observer told me on a recent visit, 'The benefit of controlling a modern state is less the power to persecute the innocent, more the power to protect the guilty.'..."
"...Outside the Islamic world, the 21st century is not an era of ideology. The grand utopian visions of the 19th century have passed out of fashion. The nightmare totalitarian projects of the 20th have been overthrown or have disintegrated, leaving behind only outdated remnants: North Korea, Cuba. What is spreading today is repressive kleptocracy, led by rulers motivated by greed rather than by the deranged idealism of Hitler or Stalin or Mao. Such rulers rely less on terror and more on rule-twisting, the manipulation of information, and the co-optation of elites..."
~*~
Throughout 2016, as my fatigue and cognitive ability allowed, I read articles and opinions from different sides of the political spectrum, from far left to middle to far right. Trump's extreme narcissism was blatant and concerned me.
But it was an article I read in The New Yorker that struck home on a personal level: Donald Trump's Ghostwriter Tells All. As I was reading the article the first time, it was like reading about my harmful experience and relationship with John Knapp, my previous mental health therapist whose license was revoked in 2014. Then when I got to the end of the article and read Trump's final words to Schwartz, my mouth dropped open in an "OMG" moment -- "...[Trump] said, 'Have a nice life.' Trump hung up." "Have a nice life" were Knapp's exact last words to me in a 2010 email. Knapp also used those same words with others when his mask cracked publicly online in 2011. I'm no Tony Schwartz and Knapp is no Donald Trump, but Trump's manipulative tactics are the same and oh so recognizable.
Still, I thought, Carol, you might be projecting. So, keep calm.
I watched debates between Trump and Clinton, noticing Trump's body language and facial expressions, his disregard for social norms, his outright blatant lies with his pretense of honesty and feigned cause for the working citizen. I continued to read from various opinions and articles. It seemed to me that this was all a game to Trump -- another game to win. And unfortunately, he won.
~*~
A coupleish weeks ago I logged into Twitter and read Trump had directed the National Park System to delete some Tweets (that were factually correct) about Trump's 2017 inaugural crowd size. The Tweets were fresh; it had just happened. The deletion directive alarmed me. Information control. That's what cults do. I waited and read a bit more to see what had played out. Okay. Maybe those Tweets were inappropriate. If I worked for a company and tweeted something like that making the boss look bad, of course the company would want it deleted. I pondered a bit, But this isn't a company. And what was Tweeted isn't false.
Within a day or so, I read that certain information regarding climate change was being deleted from the White House web site. I read up on that and learned each Administration changes the website, archiving the previous Administration's pages. But, these are climate facts. Should they just delete that? Shouldn't they leave that information and then present their own information later alongside that information? It didn't sit well with me.
When I logged into Twitter last Wednesday night after my perfect day at Grayson Highlands, I saw the alternate Twitter account for the National Park System. A perfect ending to a perfect day. Since then, more alternate accounts have been started. Go guys and gals!
Information control and access is a huge red flag.
Last weekend when I read Trump's statement which he made as the protests in response to people with legal papers being detained were live at airports and the confusion and chaos of it all, my jaw dropped yet again. Trump said, “It’s working out very nicely. You see it at the airports, you see it all over, it’s working out very nicely, and we’re going to have a very strict ban, and we’re going to have extreme vetting, which we should have had in this country for many years.” I shouted at the walls,"This guy is fucking nuts!" It was obvious his Executive Order was not "working out nicely;" airports were in mass confusion.
Then there was Stephen Bannon's appointment to the National Security Council and the decision for the NSC Director and the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs to opt out of the meetings where their attendance is deemed unnecessary. (Who makes that decision? Trump and Bannon?) I've listened to interviews of and read articles regarding people who have previously served in those behind-door meetings across various administrations. From what I've read and heard, never in the history of the USA, has a political adviser been allowed on the NSC -- and especially someone like Bannon.
Then, among other things, there are Trump's Wall Street billionaire cabinet picks and his refusal to publish his tax returns and the continual attempted reversals on environmental regulations and his rude treatment and words toward some of our allies and toward the free press. Trump's beyond-the-pail list continues.
I'm in favor of trimming government overreach where it needs trimming but not in the manner that Trump is going about it. I'm also in favor of regulations to keep capitalist greed in check. Trump is extending his own type of overreach. People matter, damn it. Our protected public lands matter. Clean water, clean air -- they matter. Foreign relationships matter. Access to information matters. Diplomacy and decency matter. Words from the leader of a world super-power matter.
Chaos, confusion, shock factor -- all manipulative control tactics.
The whole scenario and trajectory is alarming. In my recent letters to my senators, I asked them to please slow down this train.
~*~
These storms of Trump-chaos and his self-centered, extreme narcissism (among other characteristics and patterns) are reminiscent of The Way and of my personal harmful experience with my former mental health therapist, John Knapp. With The Way and with Knapp the bold lies and twisted truths were mind-boggling beyond belief, stated with absolute confidence and a pretense of honesty.
But this isn't The Way. This isn't my personal harmful experience with an unstable mental health therapist. This is our country. At times I just scream inside for people to WAKE THE FUCK UP to see what is happening. This is not normal!
As noted above, I am well aware that my internal responses to Trump's election are influenced by my personal experiences. I have wondered if my internal responses are overreactions. I no longer think they are.
I have a good friend who voted for Trump mainly because of their disdain for Hillary. As I've shared some of my concerns, the response has been along the lines of, "We'll see. There are checks and balances in the government. It will all be okay."
I think it will only end up okay if we can curb and redirect the disastrous trajectory of Trump's train.
I am deeply concerned at what is happening in our country. We've seen more moderate Republicans who were once critical of Trump, be pulled into his maelstrom of lunacy, dismissing or rationalizing Trump's outrageous actions, words, and lies and endeavoring to downplay his behavior. I had thought maybe those representatives would be a sane voice to help curb Trump's maniacal tendencies.
This does not mean that I think past politicians in our country have not been corrupt or greedy or liars. I think the problems (in context of our country) go back to the founding of this country which, in my opinion, was based more on greed than on freedom. In the past month, one of the things I've reread to help me understand what is going on now is Chapter 5: A Kind of Revolution from the book A People's History of the United States. Some of the parallels to what is happening now are almost uncanny. (Link to a pdf: A People's History of The United States.) Chapter 5 shares some of history, motivations, influences, and tactics behind the American Revolutionary War and the Founding of the United States -- documented history that was left out or only mentioned in the US History classes that I attended during my schooling years.
I've never been very politically active, other than casting my vote. Beginning in December, 2016, as much as I'm able, I started calling and writing government officials. And I've taken up more conscious wishing, praying, hoping for our country's strength and peace to any vital forces that might exist and have the power to influence.
~*~
October 1, 2017
Thus far
Thursday afternoon.
I lay back in the reclining dentist chair. Time to add another crown. I reckon if we didn't have crowns, I'd have only gums where my molars root.
I'm always impressed how dentist staff can understand what I'm saying when I "talk" while they work in my mouth. My hygienist is especially adept at understanding the guttural language.
I actually like going to my dentist. I really love the staff. Always pleasant and cheerful. It's such an uplifting atmosphere. I don't like being drilled, etc. But, it's not too bad in the scheme of life.
Dr. Dentist walks in, his pleasant self. He points at my hand-and-wrist braces. "You going into a boxing match?" he jokes.
"I'm gonna box Trump up side the ears," I respond in kind, not knowing if Dr. Dentist is a Trump supporter or not.
"Oh my gosh. I know," he says. "I've quit listening to or reading the man for the most part. I just end up upset and agitated. He is who he is. Nothing I do will change him."
"Right," I reply.
~*~
Tuesday night, prior to Thursday.
I decide that beginning Wednesday I'd take a break from reading current politics, including Trump's bombastic tweets.
But Wednesday takes a different turn. I end up spending hours in my head working through thoughts regarding Trump, his supporters, media from all sides, and bottom lines setting off an angst that ricochets like a rouge ping-pong ball, internally bouncing like a confused compass needle. To add to that, I handle a couple stressful circumstances and then have two separate odd encounters with strangers in downtown Mt. Airy. I think, I'm surrounded by crazy people.
It was ending up a weird Wednesday, thus far.
I had gone to Mt. Airy to ride its Greenway. But by the time I arrive at the Greenway, I am exhausted. Not that I had much energy when the day started.
Carol, do you just go home and go to bed?
I remind myself that cycling through the woods often helps my physical and mental fatigue. I opt to ride.
Mother Nature works her magic. Anxiety melts. My body and mind are soothed. I see my groundhog friend and the two great herons that make Ararat River their home.
~*~
Dr. Dentist's words the next day, on Thursday, remind me of what I had decided on Tuesday night.
Friday.
I do okay with my politicalless and Trumpless endeavor.
I dedicate Saturday to a mountain day-trip and cycling on the New River Trail. It will take my entire focus. But it will be worth it, I hope.
~*~
Saturday morning.
Unfortunately I look at the news and read Trump's tweets blaming Puerto Rico for not doing enough to help themselves in their dire circumstances...ten days going at that point.
What. The. Fuck. I didn't think even Trump could sink this low.
I was stunned, but only momentarily.
This is Trump. This is what he is. He's a megalomaniac.
His words were cruel. Cruel words from a cruel, selfish, heartless, without-conscience, sliver-spooned-golden-toilet-sitting, interested-only-in-his-own-glorification liar.
I had viewed a couple videos the night before from Mayor Cruz. Yes, she sounded over the top. Yes, she sounded desperate. But it's an over-the-top, desperate situation. I thought she went too far with her genocide statement. But I couldn't criticize it or hold judgement against her. I have never lived through a disaster like Puerto Rico was dealing with. And they are headed into day ten! Ten days of this crap! 24/7.
Even, even, even if his verbal attacks toward Mayor Cruz were factually correct, it's still cruel and morally wrong for him to express those opinions while they're dealing with this shit. And it's ten days in! They're exhausted beyond anything most of us can imagine.
I haven't read or seen anyone disparage first responders. I've read just the opposite. Perhaps Trump is lying? Surely not.
And to blame Mayor Cruz and Puerto Rican "others" for wanting everything done for them and not being able to get their people to work together? My god. Talk about victim blaming.
And then for Trump to accuse the Mayor of colluding with the Democrats to make him and his administration look bad? This man doth project his own tactics, perhaps?
Poor Trump. He is the victim of the media and the opposing political party.
What an ass.
How can anyone with good conscience rationalize and support such an outwardly, cruel, inhumane son of a bitch?
You know how Carol. You did it. Wierwille. Martindale. Rivenbark. Knapp.
But maybe your conscience wasn't so good at those times.
~*~
My internal ping-pong ricochet is set in motion. Oh gawd. This is not where my energy should go. Energy expended again to getting Trump-nation out of my head.
I journal, and that helps, some. Hubby and I talk, and that helps, some. After I get on the road, I make a pit stop along Hwy. 52 and call my daughter. We talk, and that helps, some.
But it again takes Mother Nature to soothe my soul and body.
I arrive at the New River Trail in Galax. My cycling starts very slowly. My main symptoms this day are fatigue, pain radiating from my left hip to knee, tender palms, and my ongoing digestive issues. Add to those the anxiety regarding Trump and his loyalists. I take medicine for my tummy, begin my ride, and repeat to my body and mind - drop it. settle. woman on bike riding in woods. - endeavoring to simply be in the present.
I take in the scenery. The scents of autumn. The sound of my tires on gravel. The crunch of leaves. The sound of rapids in Chestnut Creek. The invisible breeze. Eventually I listen to music through my Bluetooth.
I shuffle thoughts examining my internal, ricocheting, ping-pong-ball response to Trump's words and his rationalists. Think of worst case scenarios. Accept worst case scenarios. Think of most-likely scenarios. Sideways. Upside down. Right side up. Distinguish "normal" from Trump's "abnormal" and how to stay grounded despite the "abnormal." Delineate facts from my own emotional filters. Endeavor to pinpoint what I feel and why.
Why does it bother me so? What can I do about any of this crap anyway?
Between it all I repeat - drop it. settle. woman on bike riding in woods.
After an hour and fifteen minutes, I take a thirty-minute break. I sit alone in the woods by the New River. The trees sway in the autumn breeze. Leaves float to the ground. The tangles in my mind clear. My heart settles. Fatigue and pain are relieved and so are my tummy issues. Two cyclists approach, and we have a fun-filled conversation.
As I start my trip back down the trail to Galax, I whisper, "I'd like to see Great Heron. And some deer."
A few minutes later I spy Great Heron standing tall in Chestnut Creek. I smile, content. Then I pump my fist, Yes! Teary-eyed and energized, my heart fills with gratitude. Mother Nature will not disappoint.
I see seven deer on my cycle-ride back.
Later, on my drive home along the Blue Ridge Parkway, I see nine more deer.
As I eat supper at an overlook - witnessing a sunset with pink, wispy, cotton candy clouds stretched over a blue-gray-purple canvas touching tops of mountains and dips of valleys - I feel whole, knowing the feeling will be fleeting but wanting so badly for it to never end.
I lay back in the reclining dentist chair. Time to add another crown. I reckon if we didn't have crowns, I'd have only gums where my molars root.
I'm always impressed how dentist staff can understand what I'm saying when I "talk" while they work in my mouth. My hygienist is especially adept at understanding the guttural language.
I actually like going to my dentist. I really love the staff. Always pleasant and cheerful. It's such an uplifting atmosphere. I don't like being drilled, etc. But, it's not too bad in the scheme of life.
Dr. Dentist walks in, his pleasant self. He points at my hand-and-wrist braces. "You going into a boxing match?" he jokes.
"I'm gonna box Trump up side the ears," I respond in kind, not knowing if Dr. Dentist is a Trump supporter or not.
"Oh my gosh. I know," he says. "I've quit listening to or reading the man for the most part. I just end up upset and agitated. He is who he is. Nothing I do will change him."
"Right," I reply.
~*~
Tuesday night, prior to Thursday.
I decide that beginning Wednesday I'd take a break from reading current politics, including Trump's bombastic tweets.
But Wednesday takes a different turn. I end up spending hours in my head working through thoughts regarding Trump, his supporters, media from all sides, and bottom lines setting off an angst that ricochets like a rouge ping-pong ball, internally bouncing like a confused compass needle. To add to that, I handle a couple stressful circumstances and then have two separate odd encounters with strangers in downtown Mt. Airy. I think, I'm surrounded by crazy people.
It was ending up a weird Wednesday, thus far.
I had gone to Mt. Airy to ride its Greenway. But by the time I arrive at the Greenway, I am exhausted. Not that I had much energy when the day started.
Carol, do you just go home and go to bed?
I remind myself that cycling through the woods often helps my physical and mental fatigue. I opt to ride.
Mother Nature works her magic. Anxiety melts. My body and mind are soothed. I see my groundhog friend and the two great herons that make Ararat River their home.
~*~
Dr. Dentist's words the next day, on Thursday, remind me of what I had decided on Tuesday night.
Friday.
I do okay with my politicalless and Trumpless endeavor.
I dedicate Saturday to a mountain day-trip and cycling on the New River Trail. It will take my entire focus. But it will be worth it, I hope.
~*~
Saturday morning.
Unfortunately I look at the news and read Trump's tweets blaming Puerto Rico for not doing enough to help themselves in their dire circumstances...ten days going at that point.
What. The. Fuck. I didn't think even Trump could sink this low.
I was stunned, but only momentarily.
This is Trump. This is what he is. He's a megalomaniac.
His words were cruel. Cruel words from a cruel, selfish, heartless, without-conscience, sliver-spooned-golden-toilet-sitting, interested-only-in-his-own-glorification liar.
I had viewed a couple videos the night before from Mayor Cruz. Yes, she sounded over the top. Yes, she sounded desperate. But it's an over-the-top, desperate situation. I thought she went too far with her genocide statement. But I couldn't criticize it or hold judgement against her. I have never lived through a disaster like Puerto Rico was dealing with. And they are headed into day ten! Ten days of this crap! 24/7.
Even, even, even if his verbal attacks toward Mayor Cruz were factually correct, it's still cruel and morally wrong for him to express those opinions while they're dealing with this shit. And it's ten days in! They're exhausted beyond anything most of us can imagine.
I haven't read or seen anyone disparage first responders. I've read just the opposite. Perhaps Trump is lying? Surely not.
And to blame Mayor Cruz and Puerto Rican "others" for wanting everything done for them and not being able to get their people to work together? My god. Talk about victim blaming.
And then for Trump to accuse the Mayor of colluding with the Democrats to make him and his administration look bad? This man doth project his own tactics, perhaps?
Poor Trump. He is the victim of the media and the opposing political party.
What an ass.
How can anyone with good conscience rationalize and support such an outwardly, cruel, inhumane son of a bitch?
You know how Carol. You did it. Wierwille. Martindale. Rivenbark. Knapp.
But maybe your conscience wasn't so good at those times.
~*~
My internal ping-pong ricochet is set in motion. Oh gawd. This is not where my energy should go. Energy expended again to getting Trump-nation out of my head.
I journal, and that helps, some. Hubby and I talk, and that helps, some. After I get on the road, I make a pit stop along Hwy. 52 and call my daughter. We talk, and that helps, some.
But it again takes Mother Nature to soothe my soul and body.
I arrive at the New River Trail in Galax. My cycling starts very slowly. My main symptoms this day are fatigue, pain radiating from my left hip to knee, tender palms, and my ongoing digestive issues. Add to those the anxiety regarding Trump and his loyalists. I take medicine for my tummy, begin my ride, and repeat to my body and mind - drop it. settle. woman on bike riding in woods. - endeavoring to simply be in the present.
I take in the scenery. The scents of autumn. The sound of my tires on gravel. The crunch of leaves. The sound of rapids in Chestnut Creek. The invisible breeze. Eventually I listen to music through my Bluetooth.
I shuffle thoughts examining my internal, ricocheting, ping-pong-ball response to Trump's words and his rationalists. Think of worst case scenarios. Accept worst case scenarios. Think of most-likely scenarios. Sideways. Upside down. Right side up. Distinguish "normal" from Trump's "abnormal" and how to stay grounded despite the "abnormal." Delineate facts from my own emotional filters. Endeavor to pinpoint what I feel and why.
Why does it bother me so? What can I do about any of this crap anyway?
Between it all I repeat - drop it. settle. woman on bike riding in woods.
After an hour and fifteen minutes, I take a thirty-minute break. I sit alone in the woods by the New River. The trees sway in the autumn breeze. Leaves float to the ground. The tangles in my mind clear. My heart settles. Fatigue and pain are relieved and so are my tummy issues. Two cyclists approach, and we have a fun-filled conversation.
As I start my trip back down the trail to Galax, I whisper, "I'd like to see Great Heron. And some deer."
A few minutes later I spy Great Heron standing tall in Chestnut Creek. I smile, content. Then I pump my fist, Yes! Teary-eyed and energized, my heart fills with gratitude. Mother Nature will not disappoint.
I see seven deer on my cycle-ride back.
Later, on my drive home along the Blue Ridge Parkway, I see nine more deer.
As I eat supper at an overlook - witnessing a sunset with pink, wispy, cotton candy clouds stretched over a blue-gray-purple canvas touching tops of mountains and dips of valleys - I feel whole, knowing the feeling will be fleeting but wanting so badly for it to never end.
January 23, 2025
TDS1 and TDS2...
TDS, or Trump Derangement Syndrome, is a derogatory term used by MAGA disciples to make fun of people who supposedly respond to Trump by displaying hysteria, overreactive anxiety and depression, paranoia, and more hysteria.
TDS isn't original. It's original predecessor, BDS or Bush Derangement Syndrome, was coined by Charles Krauthammer in 2003. He defined it as "the acute onset of paranoia in otherwise normal people in reaction to the policies, the presidency—nay—the very existence of George W. Bush."
~*~
On eX-Twitter, I sometimes read posts from MAGA disciples. Here are people (many who claim to be Christian and many who post anonymously) expressing anger and outrage via ridiculing another's physical appearance, name-calling, foul language, arrogance, and our baser human attributes. Would they express the same if they used their real names as opposed to hiding behind an anonymous handle?
Perhaps one reason a person may feel justified to regularly display their outrage in this way is because their dear leader does the same, thus normalizing this type behavior as a legitimate and appropiate (Christian) response to those who disagree with or criticize the doctrine or the leader. It's a group dynamic thing; I engaged in similar rationalization during my 28 years in a fundamentalist Bible cult.
I've had the thought that these same MAGA folks who shout "TDS!" must suffer from Democrat Derangement Syndrome or Liberal Derangement Syndrome. I imagine others have thought that as well. As I thought about those labels today, I wanted something a bit more clever, playing off the TDS acronym. What about "Trump Disciple Syndrome?" Which brought me a chuckle.
How would I define it? People (many) who at one time were understanding, empathic, and tender-hearted become fearful, easily offended, and rageful at those who disagree with Trump or call him to account.
Trump Derangement Syndrome can be TDS1.
Trump Disciple Syndrome can be TDS2.
~*~
I watched Trump's inauguration speech. I don't have either TDS1 or TDS2, but I found the speech disturbing. And I found myself, as I watched and listened, again feeling familiarity. It brought to mind Wierwille and Martindale, the first two presidents of The Way Internataional, and probably hit upon something a bit deeper -- the throes of indoctrination.
One of The Way's main themes is Word Over the World, which really means Way Doctrine Over the World. As I watched Trump and then Sewell's preachy-prayer, I thought (among other things), Oh great. Now we have USA Over the World.
But that's how the USA was founded. Colonization. Strip the native cultures away to "civilize" (Christianize) them. Then when Musk spoke later about planting a USA flag on Mars it became, USA over the solar system.
Having stated the above, some with TDS2 may accuse me of suffering from TDS1. Fine, except that I'd have to disagree. I know all too well the symptoms of depression, anxiety, and paranoia. I first experienced those symptoms back in high school; they had nothing to do with politics. I have experienced them off and on since that time, but again, not due to national or world politics. That's not to say I haven't felt anger and even disgust at Trump's dehumanizing behavior and words.
Trump says he's gonna drill baby drill.
Will he do it responsibly, taking into account our dear planet's health? I doubt it, but maybe I'll be surprised. (I hope so.)
With more fracking, will Earth respond with more earthquakes?
With more drilling, how much more oil will be spilled in our precious, already suffering oceans?
Will RFK Jr. speak up on behalf of our planet?
Will there be anyone under Trump's influence who will stand up for Earth?
That said, if we don't stand up for Earth, She will let us know...
Perhaps via destruction of mankind's irresponsible tinkering with Her most so-called precious commodities...
October 26, 2017
To post or not to post...
authentic writing workshop, 10/25/17
non-subject: storm brewing
~*~
I'm tired. A thousand things come into my head to write about. Not really a thousand, but a shitload.
~*~
Between October 14th and October 21st I wrote three different blog posts about Trump. Even though it was only one week's time, it felt longer - I think because of my struggle with whether or not to voice more Trump thoughts on my blog, how much to voice, and trying to put into coherent words many of the thoughts that had been scrambling around in my head.
On October 14th I wrote a piece entitled Demand for purity. I went into detail about my thoughts regarding the recent controversy of the State trying to coerce private business into requiring employees to express loyalty to the State anthem and flag. Such coercion brings to mind a "demand for purity." As my manner is, and not that I like it, I ended up over-explaining the dialog in my head.
In that same piece I wrote about Trump's assertion that mainstream media is the "enemy of the people." I consider his continued ravings against the news media as an attempt at information control. I pondered how Trump's information control compares to that of previous administrations. I mentioned Trump's narcissism and pondered how it compares with other presidents. I pondered why Trump causes me so much angst.
At the end of the piece I listed Dr. Robert J. Lifton's theory of the Eight Criteria for Thought Reform. "Demand for purity" and "control of information" are part of his eight criteria. Lifton is a psychiatrist who, among other things, studied the effects of thought reform on POWs from the Korean war. I first read some of Lifton's works after I left The Way and began educating myself about cults, group-think, brainwashing, coercive persuasion, et al.
I didn't post the October 14th piece.
On October 18th I wrote another blog-post-that-never-became-a-blog-post. In this second piece I describe what I wrote about in the first blog-post-that-never-became-a-blog-post, condensing the subjects into a few paragraphs.
I wrote a bit more about Trump as a sociopath. I included links to symptoms of narcissistic personality disorder and antisocial personality disorder - the disorders associated with psychopathy and sociopathy, subjects which I read about in depth after my bizarre Knapp experience as I endeavored to wrap my head around what had happened. The only plausible explanation I came up with was a personality disorder or sociopathy or psychopathy, which also explains behaviors of certain top leaders in The Way. Trump displays the same traits. In the piece I stated that if it walks like a duck, looks like a duck, and acts like a duck, it probably is a duck. I entitled the piece, Donald Duck.
But, I never posted the October 18th piece.
On October 21st I wrote a third piece spring-boarding off my second blog-post-that-never-became-a-blog-post. But this time, I threw off the psychology experts. I wanted to write my own words, my own descriptions, what I've learned from my personal experience. I entitled the piece Abnormal normals.
At first I didn't post the piece. What difference would it make? Would I feel I'm just hollering into a well? My blog is not on search engines, and it gets read by very few. How vulnerable would I feel after posting it? Would I feel self-conscious for four or five days? What if some people do read and comment and I feel I have to defend my opinion and position? Should I just keep my mouth shut? By keeping quiet, am I allowing the silencing girth to bind me?
Such were some of the contemplations rolling through my head.
On October 22nd I ended up in a conversation discussing my quandary. The listener gave me more to ponder. As a result of that conversation and the more-pondering, I put a few more edits on the 3rd piece and posted it the morning of October 23rd. But I left the published-post-date as October 21st, since that was when I wrote the piece.
To my surprise, instead of feeling vulnerable and self-conscious, I felt lighter. I wondered, Maybe it's not such a bad thing to dump my Trump thoughts every so often on my blog.
The self-consciousness and self-doubt did raise their heads the next day. But not too loudly or harshly.
I wonder why posting has a more burden-lightening effect than keeping my thoughts private in a journal? Perhaps it has something to do with the silencing factor.
After leaving The Way, where I had lived silence for so long, a friend said to me, "The silence has been deafening, no?"
~*~
In the October 21st piece I state, "In my experience, sociopaths are mercurial creatures..."
Three days later on October 24th, Senator Jeff Flake addressed the Senate stating he would not run for re-election and why, expressing his concerns and misgivings about the current administration. Flake used that same word, "mercurial," in one of his statements addressing Trump's behavior, specifically Trump's tweets and their consequences. Flake stated, "The notion that we should say or do nothing in the face of such mercurial behavior is ahistoric and, I believe, profoundly misguided."
His use of that same word arrested my attention and caused me to pause, yet again...
~*~
non-subject: storm brewing
~*~
I'm tired. A thousand things come into my head to write about. Not really a thousand, but a shitload.
~*~
Between October 14th and October 21st I wrote three different blog posts about Trump. Even though it was only one week's time, it felt longer - I think because of my struggle with whether or not to voice more Trump thoughts on my blog, how much to voice, and trying to put into coherent words many of the thoughts that had been scrambling around in my head.
On October 14th I wrote a piece entitled Demand for purity. I went into detail about my thoughts regarding the recent controversy of the State trying to coerce private business into requiring employees to express loyalty to the State anthem and flag. Such coercion brings to mind a "demand for purity." As my manner is, and not that I like it, I ended up over-explaining the dialog in my head.
In that same piece I wrote about Trump's assertion that mainstream media is the "enemy of the people." I consider his continued ravings against the news media as an attempt at information control. I pondered how Trump's information control compares to that of previous administrations. I mentioned Trump's narcissism and pondered how it compares with other presidents. I pondered why Trump causes me so much angst.
At the end of the piece I listed Dr. Robert J. Lifton's theory of the Eight Criteria for Thought Reform. "Demand for purity" and "control of information" are part of his eight criteria. Lifton is a psychiatrist who, among other things, studied the effects of thought reform on POWs from the Korean war. I first read some of Lifton's works after I left The Way and began educating myself about cults, group-think, brainwashing, coercive persuasion, et al.
I didn't post the October 14th piece.
On October 18th I wrote another blog-post-that-never-became-a-blog-post. In this second piece I describe what I wrote about in the first blog-post-that-never-became-a-blog-post, condensing the subjects into a few paragraphs.
I wrote a bit more about Trump as a sociopath. I included links to symptoms of narcissistic personality disorder and antisocial personality disorder - the disorders associated with psychopathy and sociopathy, subjects which I read about in depth after my bizarre Knapp experience as I endeavored to wrap my head around what had happened. The only plausible explanation I came up with was a personality disorder or sociopathy or psychopathy, which also explains behaviors of certain top leaders in The Way. Trump displays the same traits. In the piece I stated that if it walks like a duck, looks like a duck, and acts like a duck, it probably is a duck. I entitled the piece, Donald Duck.
But, I never posted the October 18th piece.
On October 21st I wrote a third piece spring-boarding off my second blog-post-that-never-became-a-blog-post. But this time, I threw off the psychology experts. I wanted to write my own words, my own descriptions, what I've learned from my personal experience. I entitled the piece Abnormal normals.
At first I didn't post the piece. What difference would it make? Would I feel I'm just hollering into a well? My blog is not on search engines, and it gets read by very few. How vulnerable would I feel after posting it? Would I feel self-conscious for four or five days? What if some people do read and comment and I feel I have to defend my opinion and position? Should I just keep my mouth shut? By keeping quiet, am I allowing the silencing girth to bind me?
Such were some of the contemplations rolling through my head.
On October 22nd I ended up in a conversation discussing my quandary. The listener gave me more to ponder. As a result of that conversation and the more-pondering, I put a few more edits on the 3rd piece and posted it the morning of October 23rd. But I left the published-post-date as October 21st, since that was when I wrote the piece.
To my surprise, instead of feeling vulnerable and self-conscious, I felt lighter. I wondered, Maybe it's not such a bad thing to dump my Trump thoughts every so often on my blog.
The self-consciousness and self-doubt did raise their heads the next day. But not too loudly or harshly.
I wonder why posting has a more burden-lightening effect than keeping my thoughts private in a journal? Perhaps it has something to do with the silencing factor.
After leaving The Way, where I had lived silence for so long, a friend said to me, "The silence has been deafening, no?"
~*~
In the October 21st piece I state, "In my experience, sociopaths are mercurial creatures..."
Three days later on October 24th, Senator Jeff Flake addressed the Senate stating he would not run for re-election and why, expressing his concerns and misgivings about the current administration. Flake used that same word, "mercurial," in one of his statements addressing Trump's behavior, specifically Trump's tweets and their consequences. Flake stated, "The notion that we should say or do nothing in the face of such mercurial behavior is ahistoric and, I believe, profoundly misguided."
His use of that same word arrested my attention and caused me to pause, yet again...
~*~
November 15, 2017
Another shooting. But it was California, not Texas, Mr. President....
Another shooting; this one in California. Last I read, at least five dead including the gunman. At least ten injured. The weapon of choice, or at least one of the weapons? Semi-automatic rifle. A spraying of bullets hitting whatever they came in contact with, including an elementary school.
When is enough enough to outlaw these combat tools? If we outlaw them, is there anyway to confiscate what's out there? What about responsible gun owners who have already legally purchased these weapons of broad destruction? Should there be an exception made for those individuals? If so, shouldn't there be something like a yearly license renewal with some sort of ongoing vetting? I imagine those type questions have been tossed around in the gun debate.(I read later, on 11/16, that the California gunman built his own weapons of rapid destruction. Still doesn't change my mind that they should be banned.)
Early this morning, around 6:30 AM, I checked Trump's tweets. And I read this: "“May God be with the people of Sutherland Springs, Texas. The FBI and Law Enforcement has arrived.” He tweeted it at 11:34 PM on November 14.
My response was big eyes, a mouth drop, and "oh my god." Followed by, "Why has no one in the White House caught this and had him apologize and correct his mistake?"
I could hear Trump's defenders in my head, "Well, he's tired. He's been on the long tour in Asia and just got back. And he's 70 years old. It was just a simple error."
That's all fine and dandy. But, he never apologized and corrected his error, or at least hasn't as of when I'm writing this blog piece. The tweet was deleted sometime after 6:30ish AM. (I later learned it was deleted around 8:30 AM, nine hours after it was posted.) He has, as of this writing, not tweeted about the California shooting. Crickets.
The other Trump-defender response I hear in my head is the standard or a rendition of, "What about Hillary?" An asinine response, in my opinion. She's a different subject. Trump is responsible for Trump. Hillary is responsible for Hillary. And she ain't the president. She's currently not serving in any political office. That doesn't excuse any wrong doings of her past. If those need to be investigated (some of them, again), so be it. And let the chips land where they will. But that what-about-Hillary type response is a deflection.
Trump has also tweeted about his wonderful trip to Asia (multiple times), the fake news, polls that show his approval rating is going up, and he tweeted this at 10:11 this morning: "Do you think the three UCLA Basketball Players will say thank you President Trump? They were headed for 10 years in jail!" He's referring to this: 3 UCLA basketball players, accused of shoplifting, back home from China
WTF? But it's typical Trump, displaying his full blown ultra-narcissistic, feed me-feed me, disordered mentality.
Would most decent people do that? They do a good deed and then manipulate to get a thank you?
Trump is all about Trump, even when he lends a helping hand.
I have tried to see good in the man. The only thing I have come up with is that he appears to take care of his family.
When is enough enough to outlaw these combat tools? If we outlaw them, is there anyway to confiscate what's out there? What about responsible gun owners who have already legally purchased these weapons of broad destruction? Should there be an exception made for those individuals? If so, shouldn't there be something like a yearly license renewal with some sort of ongoing vetting? I imagine those type questions have been tossed around in the gun debate.(I read later, on 11/16, that the California gunman built his own weapons of rapid destruction. Still doesn't change my mind that they should be banned.)
Early this morning, around 6:30 AM, I checked Trump's tweets. And I read this: "“May God be with the people of Sutherland Springs, Texas. The FBI and Law Enforcement has arrived.” He tweeted it at 11:34 PM on November 14.
My response was big eyes, a mouth drop, and "oh my god." Followed by, "Why has no one in the White House caught this and had him apologize and correct his mistake?"
I could hear Trump's defenders in my head, "Well, he's tired. He's been on the long tour in Asia and just got back. And he's 70 years old. It was just a simple error."
That's all fine and dandy. But, he never apologized and corrected his error, or at least hasn't as of when I'm writing this blog piece. The tweet was deleted sometime after 6:30ish AM. (I later learned it was deleted around 8:30 AM, nine hours after it was posted.) He has, as of this writing, not tweeted about the California shooting. Crickets.
The other Trump-defender response I hear in my head is the standard or a rendition of, "What about Hillary?" An asinine response, in my opinion. She's a different subject. Trump is responsible for Trump. Hillary is responsible for Hillary. And she ain't the president. She's currently not serving in any political office. That doesn't excuse any wrong doings of her past. If those need to be investigated (some of them, again), so be it. And let the chips land where they will. But that what-about-Hillary type response is a deflection.
Trump has also tweeted about his wonderful trip to Asia (multiple times), the fake news, polls that show his approval rating is going up, and he tweeted this at 10:11 this morning: "Do you think the three UCLA Basketball Players will say thank you President Trump? They were headed for 10 years in jail!" He's referring to this: 3 UCLA basketball players, accused of shoplifting, back home from China
WTF? But it's typical Trump, displaying his full blown ultra-narcissistic, feed me-feed me, disordered mentality.
Would most decent people do that? They do a good deed and then manipulate to get a thank you?
Trump is all about Trump, even when he lends a helping hand.
I have tried to see good in the man. The only thing I have come up with is that he appears to take care of his family.
August 27, 2017
Trump rant
This is a rant, not an academic discourse. It's based on my own observations and experience, Trump's own lies and behavior, my continued reading of contexts and histories of the players involved in the current administration and current events, and my continued reading about our country's history and histories of current movements. But still, it's just a rant.
There are times I've wanted to post some of my Trump outrage on Twitter, but I refrain. In reading recently about the history of internet trolling, Trump's a troll. He wants to agitate and provoke. And he does a good job at it.
Trump is a narcissist of the highest degree.
Folks who rationalize his beyond-social-norms behavior have been duped. He's a cult leader and fits the description - information control, playing the victim, non-accountability, blame-shifting, twisting facts or outright lying, demand for loyalty, unpredictable behavior so folks are walking on eggshells, praising folks and then demeaning them back-and-forth. His base fits the behavior of cult followers - rationalizing and minimizing his outlandish words and decisions, stroking his ego, limiting their reading to what Trump approves. I'm sure I could think of more parallels.
I used to rationalize the words and behavior of Wierwille and Martindale and Knapp. And Rivenbark, but she's in a slightly different category. I'd have my "yeah buts" always believing their hearts were right, that they wanted the best for their people, and they were simply humans who make mistakes.
I was dead wrong. They lied, intentionally. They harmed others, intentionally. They didn't care about the people who followed or supported them. All they cared about was their own ego, power, and winning. They lied to save their own faces in the eyes of their followers.
Trump is no different. His lies are so obvious it astounds me that his supporters continue to justify his outrageous words and the chaos he stirs. On the other hand, I did it too - rationalize. Just with different people who were of no real consequence to our nation or world.
The other week, after Trump's dangerous tweets regarding North Korea, I really tried to think of something good about Trump. I came up with, "He takes care of his family." But I have to wonder if he even does that out of any goodness, or does he do it to for appearance?
He's like a whirlwind. Sucking people into his vortex and causing destruction along his path.
I hope grounds are found for his impeachment.
There are times I've wanted to post some of my Trump outrage on Twitter, but I refrain. In reading recently about the history of internet trolling, Trump's a troll. He wants to agitate and provoke. And he does a good job at it.
Trump is a narcissist of the highest degree.
Folks who rationalize his beyond-social-norms behavior have been duped. He's a cult leader and fits the description - information control, playing the victim, non-accountability, blame-shifting, twisting facts or outright lying, demand for loyalty, unpredictable behavior so folks are walking on eggshells, praising folks and then demeaning them back-and-forth. His base fits the behavior of cult followers - rationalizing and minimizing his outlandish words and decisions, stroking his ego, limiting their reading to what Trump approves. I'm sure I could think of more parallels.
I used to rationalize the words and behavior of Wierwille and Martindale and Knapp. And Rivenbark, but she's in a slightly different category. I'd have my "yeah buts" always believing their hearts were right, that they wanted the best for their people, and they were simply humans who make mistakes.
I was dead wrong. They lied, intentionally. They harmed others, intentionally. They didn't care about the people who followed or supported them. All they cared about was their own ego, power, and winning. They lied to save their own faces in the eyes of their followers.
Trump is no different. His lies are so obvious it astounds me that his supporters continue to justify his outrageous words and the chaos he stirs. On the other hand, I did it too - rationalize. Just with different people who were of no real consequence to our nation or world.
The other week, after Trump's dangerous tweets regarding North Korea, I really tried to think of something good about Trump. I came up with, "He takes care of his family." But I have to wonder if he even does that out of any goodness, or does he do it to for appearance?
He's like a whirlwind. Sucking people into his vortex and causing destruction along his path.
I hope grounds are found for his impeachment.
November 28, 2017
Reality and boredom: "cult of continuous stimulation"
Saturday night my husband and I watched part of Ron Howard's documentary "The Beatles: Eight Days a Week - The Touring Years" on PBS. It contains film footage from those years.
I'm intrigued and attracted to vintage film of live events. I'm not sure why. Perhaps it gives me perspective on the way things were and the way things are, and how people differed in their interpretations at the time of what was and how we differ in our interpretations in the present of what is. And what would I have thought and felt had I been present at the past events?
I do recall what I thought when I, as a young child around seven years old, witnessed on TV girls fainting and screaming and the hysteria when the Beatles toured. I thought, "Why do they act like that?" It was foreign to me. My sister is seven years older than I, so she would have been an early teen. I don't recall her going into a frenzy over The Beatles.
Last night, as Hubby and I watched the documentary, I was again fascinated at the crowds' responses to the Beatles' presence. It reminded me of the religious frenzy I eye-witnessed in the Pentecostal and Charismatic movements in the late 1970s and things I've read about religious hysteria from earlier movements. I think of other group "rallies," such as business and political, but people aren't fainting and screaming at those events.
I'm currently reading the book, The Dangerous Case of Donald Trump compiled and edited by Brandy Lee, M.D. One of the main things I'm finding beneficial, maybe more so than how the presented theories relate to Trump, is how those theories relate to my personal experiences with The Way and group-think, with my sociopathic ex-mental health therapist, with my own self deceptions, and with my own coping mechanism of denial which I continue to use in regard to my chronic illness. (Maybe it's not full denial, because I am aware of it. Maybe it's ambiguous denial.)
Just so happened, after watching the documentary, that my next chapter in the book was Trump and the American Collective Psyche, in Part Three: The Trump Effect, contributed by Thomas Singer, M.D. The chapter doesn't focus on Trump's "psychopathology," but rather on "the interface between Trump and the American collective psyche." Or, in my words, how the two (a leader and a group) dance. An interesting chapter after viewing Beatle-mania.
Singer makes some confrontational statements (including to me) regarding one side of America. To me, it's an unhealthy side. And it's not limited to America.
From page 283 (in my book) Singer writes:
To me, that last sentence describes well what seems so predominant in current modern culture. I too am guilty, though I'm not into consumerism. But it takes conscious, deliberate effort for me to not imbibe in the continuous stimulation of the internet.
Directly after the above paragraph, Singer quotes the following from the book Empire of Illusion written by Christopher Hedges.
"Trapped in the linguistic prison of incessant repetition." I've been there too often. And I don't agree with Hedges that reality is boring. One's personal experiences (reality) can be stressful and, on the flip side, exhilarating. But I get his gist.
On the flip side to the above, there is the healthy America. The down-to-earth America seen in people going to work everyday (whether paid or not) and caring for their own and others. The beautiful America, seen in everyday generosity to help a fellow human in need. Everyday 'small' kindnesses that never make the news on electronic screens. Though some of these good deeds do go viral online, I have mixed feelings about that too. It can inspire and remind us of the goodness in humanity, or perhaps can promote more unhealthy narcissism; ie: people doing supposed good with the goal of viral online recognition (though I typically don't assign such motive).
I am of the opinion that the internet is like a mirror of who we are as humans. Our good traits and our dark traits have always been in us. Before the internet, we expressed them via venues that weren't so readily accessible. Even though I don't think the internet creates our darker traits, I think it can catalyze them to boil over. Kind of like the immune system. A person may be born with a predisposition toward allergies or other diseases, but those will only manifest under the right environment and stressors.
I've read that the information age of the internet is unprecedented, and my novice opinion agrees. But wouldn't folks have thought similarly of the printing press? To think that something could be typeset and then multiple exact copies could speedily roll out the end of a wheel to be distributed to the masses? Must have baffled their minds.
I often endeavor to recall my life before the internet. Life before 300 channels on the TV. Life when I was a teen. What did I do without internet or 300 channels or accessible constant contact?
I'm not anti-technology. I use it everyday and I'm thankful for all it provides us. I am pro-margin. As humans we need space. Too much information can fill in the margin and squeeze our own creativity and spontaneous thoughts to the thin edges.
We are surrounded by information overload, choice overload, opinion overload. Just one of those can produce fatigue; times three equals over-fatigue. Maybe we need more boredom which can lead to more daydreaming and perhaps more creativity, and less fatigue.
A couple weeks ago someone asked what my Twitter handle is. I told them and added, "But I seldom opine or get in discussions on Twitter. And I'm boring."
I'm intrigued and attracted to vintage film of live events. I'm not sure why. Perhaps it gives me perspective on the way things were and the way things are, and how people differed in their interpretations at the time of what was and how we differ in our interpretations in the present of what is. And what would I have thought and felt had I been present at the past events?
I do recall what I thought when I, as a young child around seven years old, witnessed on TV girls fainting and screaming and the hysteria when the Beatles toured. I thought, "Why do they act like that?" It was foreign to me. My sister is seven years older than I, so she would have been an early teen. I don't recall her going into a frenzy over The Beatles.
Last night, as Hubby and I watched the documentary, I was again fascinated at the crowds' responses to the Beatles' presence. It reminded me of the religious frenzy I eye-witnessed in the Pentecostal and Charismatic movements in the late 1970s and things I've read about religious hysteria from earlier movements. I think of other group "rallies," such as business and political, but people aren't fainting and screaming at those events.
I'm currently reading the book, The Dangerous Case of Donald Trump compiled and edited by Brandy Lee, M.D. One of the main things I'm finding beneficial, maybe more so than how the presented theories relate to Trump, is how those theories relate to my personal experiences with The Way and group-think, with my sociopathic ex-mental health therapist, with my own self deceptions, and with my own coping mechanism of denial which I continue to use in regard to my chronic illness. (Maybe it's not full denial, because I am aware of it. Maybe it's ambiguous denial.)
Just so happened, after watching the documentary, that my next chapter in the book was Trump and the American Collective Psyche, in Part Three: The Trump Effect, contributed by Thomas Singer, M.D. The chapter doesn't focus on Trump's "psychopathology," but rather on "the interface between Trump and the American collective psyche." Or, in my words, how the two (a leader and a group) dance. An interesting chapter after viewing Beatle-mania.
Singer makes some confrontational statements (including to me) regarding one side of America. To me, it's an unhealthy side. And it's not limited to America.
From page 283 (in my book) Singer writes:
What is it about Trump that acts as an irresistible magnet with ferocious attraction or repulsion? Is Trump the end product of our culture of narcissism? Is he what we get and deserve because he epitomizes the god or gods we currently worship in our mindless, consumerist, hyperindulged cult of continuous stimulation and entertainment?
To me, that last sentence describes well what seems so predominant in current modern culture. I too am guilty, though I'm not into consumerism. But it takes conscious, deliberate effort for me to not imbibe in the continuous stimulation of the internet.
Directly after the above paragraph, Singer quotes the following from the book Empire of Illusion written by Christopher Hedges.
An image-based culture communicates through narratives, pictures, and pseudo-dramas. Scandalous affairs, hurricanes, untimely deaths, train wrecks - these events play well on computer screens and television. International diplomacy, labor union negotiations and convoluted bailout packages do not yield exciting personal narratives or stimulating images...Reality is complicated. Reality is boring. We are incapable or unwilling to handle its confusion...We become trapped in the linguistic prison of incessant repetition. We are fed words and phrases like war on terror or pro-life or change, and within these narrow parameters, all complex thought, ambiguity, and self-criticism vanish. (Hedges 2009)
"Trapped in the linguistic prison of incessant repetition." I've been there too often. And I don't agree with Hedges that reality is boring. One's personal experiences (reality) can be stressful and, on the flip side, exhilarating. But I get his gist.
On the flip side to the above, there is the healthy America. The down-to-earth America seen in people going to work everyday (whether paid or not) and caring for their own and others. The beautiful America, seen in everyday generosity to help a fellow human in need. Everyday 'small' kindnesses that never make the news on electronic screens. Though some of these good deeds do go viral online, I have mixed feelings about that too. It can inspire and remind us of the goodness in humanity, or perhaps can promote more unhealthy narcissism; ie: people doing supposed good with the goal of viral online recognition (though I typically don't assign such motive).
I am of the opinion that the internet is like a mirror of who we are as humans. Our good traits and our dark traits have always been in us. Before the internet, we expressed them via venues that weren't so readily accessible. Even though I don't think the internet creates our darker traits, I think it can catalyze them to boil over. Kind of like the immune system. A person may be born with a predisposition toward allergies or other diseases, but those will only manifest under the right environment and stressors.
I've read that the information age of the internet is unprecedented, and my novice opinion agrees. But wouldn't folks have thought similarly of the printing press? To think that something could be typeset and then multiple exact copies could speedily roll out the end of a wheel to be distributed to the masses? Must have baffled their minds.
I often endeavor to recall my life before the internet. Life before 300 channels on the TV. Life when I was a teen. What did I do without internet or 300 channels or accessible constant contact?
I'm not anti-technology. I use it everyday and I'm thankful for all it provides us. I am pro-margin. As humans we need space. Too much information can fill in the margin and squeeze our own creativity and spontaneous thoughts to the thin edges.
We are surrounded by information overload, choice overload, opinion overload. Just one of those can produce fatigue; times three equals over-fatigue. Maybe we need more boredom which can lead to more daydreaming and perhaps more creativity, and less fatigue.
A couple weeks ago someone asked what my Twitter handle is. I told them and added, "But I seldom opine or get in discussions on Twitter. And I'm boring."
October 21, 2017
Abnormal normals
In perusing things I've posted about Trump on my blog, I'm reminded that my opinion of the madman hasn't changed. I mostly think he is an outright sociopath, incapable of empathy or feeling remorse. At the very least, he is an extreme narcissist.
I hesitate to give the madman more attention on my blog. It feels as if mentioning his name feeds his narcissistic supply in some ethereal sphere and like I am playing into his game to agitate and irritate and incite outrage. And I do feel those things.
I recently read an article that posed the question, "Remember life before Trump's tweets?" I chuckled, but only for a moment. The man takes up too much space in my head. I don't like that. It's kind of like living with an invisible, chronic illness - not readily seen by others but always present reminding the one who is ill of his or her new "abnormal normals."
Too often, as I go about my abnormal-normal day, I wonder...
To help ground myself, I tell myself...
I take in a deep breath, hold it momentarily, exhale, and pause...
~*~
I limit my reading of Trump. Take intentional breaks. But I still read him and occasionally watch his speeches or self-inflated hoopla at his campaign rallies. Why? Partly because I care and am concerned; I don't want to bury my head in the sand. Partly because of my continued journey in understanding my own experience with cults and narcissists and sociopaths. I'm sure there are more "partlies," but I'll stop with those two.
I think what bothers me more than the madman himself is when his supporters rationalize his lies and bully-behavior, thereby normalizing that which isn't normal for the office of the president. I lived this normalizing-the-abnormal in The Way, especially under Martindale's tenure from 1982 through 2000. I experienced it on a more personal level with John Knapp. And I see the same pattern with Trump and those who try to explain away or reinterpret his flagrant lies, name calling, one-upmanship, disregard for norms of the office, belittling, blaming victims, claiming to be a victim, having to win, being unable to take criticism, and more.
In my experience, sociopaths are mercurial creatures; they wear masks according to whichever game they are playing at a given moment. Of course, all humans wear masks to some degree, such as in private-versus-public life. There are certain standards in society that we endeavor to live by, and rightly so. Those standards can vary according to the culture and the times.
But the sociopath's masks are worn always for their own gain regardless of the expense to others. To them, life is all about winning. As long as they come out on top or appear to come out on top, that's all that really matters. Their masks can crack with enough pressure. Pressure from when their cover stories are proven false again and again or when enough loyal believers defect. The sociopath's paranoia can become more dominant causing a fissure in the mask. If they don't repair the fissure, it can grow. But even if their mask cracks, they won't genuinely admit they were wrong. Instead, they remake themselves, from what I've seen, first into some sort of victim and then into another role, or continuing their same role after some whitewash, in order to feed their narcissistic supply.
I'm hoping Trump's mask cracks. But, he's 70 years old and has played his games for a long time.
I will not dismiss my flags regarding Trump.
My Trump flags are not red, white, and blue.
They are mostly red, and sometimes yellow...casting shadows.
I hesitate to give the madman more attention on my blog. It feels as if mentioning his name feeds his narcissistic supply in some ethereal sphere and like I am playing into his game to agitate and irritate and incite outrage. And I do feel those things.
I recently read an article that posed the question, "Remember life before Trump's tweets?" I chuckled, but only for a moment. The man takes up too much space in my head. I don't like that. It's kind of like living with an invisible, chronic illness - not readily seen by others but always present reminding the one who is ill of his or her new "abnormal normals."
Too often, as I go about my abnormal-normal day, I wonder...
How can I allow myself to feel that things are "normal" with this madman at the helm of our country? I feel like I'm pretending as I go about my life as if all this shit in the air doesn't bother me. Add to that the string of recent tragedies, still in emergency or recovery mode. I have a home and fresh water and food and income, and my family is safe. I feel a tinge of guilt, if that's the right word, because my needs are met.
You've felt this before at times of tragedy, upheaval, death. This feeling that once trauma happens it seems forgotten in a matter of days or weeks, though it's not forgotten. People have to keep living through the aftermath. Survivors have to keep moving, even as they process and grieve.
But this Trump shit, it's like there is no end to it. There is aftermath after aftermath. Almost every day I wonder, "What damage will he inflict today, and on whom?"
You've felt this before at times of tragedy, upheaval, death. This feeling that once trauma happens it seems forgotten in a matter of days or weeks, though it's not forgotten. People have to keep living through the aftermath. Survivors have to keep moving, even as they process and grieve.
But this Trump shit, it's like there is no end to it. There is aftermath after aftermath. Almost every day I wonder, "What damage will he inflict today, and on whom?"
To help ground myself, I tell myself...
Drop it. [and then note whatever I'm doing at the moment, such as...] Woman sitting, playing with dog.
I take in a deep breath, hold it momentarily, exhale, and pause...
I am in the place where I am at this moment in front of me. Things may not be "normal," but all I can do is continue doing what I am supposed to do as best I can - care for myself, my family, my neighbor, the environment. All I can do is what I can do. Be kind...be kind.
~*~
I limit my reading of Trump. Take intentional breaks. But I still read him and occasionally watch his speeches or self-inflated hoopla at his campaign rallies. Why? Partly because I care and am concerned; I don't want to bury my head in the sand. Partly because of my continued journey in understanding my own experience with cults and narcissists and sociopaths. I'm sure there are more "partlies," but I'll stop with those two.
I think what bothers me more than the madman himself is when his supporters rationalize his lies and bully-behavior, thereby normalizing that which isn't normal for the office of the president. I lived this normalizing-the-abnormal in The Way, especially under Martindale's tenure from 1982 through 2000. I experienced it on a more personal level with John Knapp. And I see the same pattern with Trump and those who try to explain away or reinterpret his flagrant lies, name calling, one-upmanship, disregard for norms of the office, belittling, blaming victims, claiming to be a victim, having to win, being unable to take criticism, and more.
In my experience, sociopaths are mercurial creatures; they wear masks according to whichever game they are playing at a given moment. Of course, all humans wear masks to some degree, such as in private-versus-public life. There are certain standards in society that we endeavor to live by, and rightly so. Those standards can vary according to the culture and the times.
But the sociopath's masks are worn always for their own gain regardless of the expense to others. To them, life is all about winning. As long as they come out on top or appear to come out on top, that's all that really matters. Their masks can crack with enough pressure. Pressure from when their cover stories are proven false again and again or when enough loyal believers defect. The sociopath's paranoia can become more dominant causing a fissure in the mask. If they don't repair the fissure, it can grow. But even if their mask cracks, they won't genuinely admit they were wrong. Instead, they remake themselves, from what I've seen, first into some sort of victim and then into another role, or continuing their same role after some whitewash, in order to feed their narcissistic supply.
I'm hoping Trump's mask cracks. But, he's 70 years old and has played his games for a long time.
I will not dismiss my flags regarding Trump.
My Trump flags are not red, white, and blue.
They are mostly red, and sometimes yellow...casting shadows.
April 19, 2026
Images...
In March 2025, two Trump supporters and a Trump voter and I sat at the dinner table. One of the supporters said something derogatory about Biden.
I thought, Do I say anything?
And then I responded with something like, "What about Trump? He's worse..."
The dialog went downhill from there. I was angered at (among other things) how anyone could support the tactics of ICE and Trump's constant dehumanizing rhetoric--such as labeling all or most undocumented/illegal immigrants as rapists, murderers, scum, and whatever other derogatory labels Trump regularly throws out from his keyboard or tongue.
Another thing I stated was that I wouldn't be surprised if Trump leads us into a Depression and/or WWIII.
[Please note that "I wouldn't be surprised" does not equal "I believe."]
I also shared that the bottom-line reason I voted for Harris, instead of either not voting or voting for a third-party candidate whom I figured would lose, was because I'd rather navigate the censorship of the Left than what I saw coming as the censorship of MAGA.
[I later realized that the word "censorship" may be better stated as "government overreach."]
One of the supporters was quite surprised at my bottom-line reason and said, "That's a new one. I haven't heard that before."
That supporter and I later discussed our previous heated back-and-forth. Yes, we disagree on Trump and now stick mainly to subjects we have in common, though our opinions on the common sometimes also differ.
Almost a year later on February 5, 2026, I wrote in my journal:
Carol, what do you mean by or can you describe what you saw coming from MAGA?MAGA is fundamentalist. Fundamentalism provides easy answers. Example: 'We don't like you, so we'll get rid of you.' And MAGA uses the Bible, the major religious book of authority in US history, to back its fundamentalism.
Versus the Left; example: 'We don't like you, but we will tolerate you, to a point.'The Left uses so-called science to determine when their tolerance reaches a stopping point. But how and where do they get that "science?" Hmm, follow the money. I'm thinking of pharmaceutical companies.
Today is April 19, 2026, and we are at war with Iran, and prices for goods and gasoline are up.
Will we end up in a Depression or WWIII?
I hope not.
(Personally, due to the current war causing a shortage of a specific poly-foam, Hubby and I are having to delay much needed foundation work on our home. But at least we have a brick-and-mortar, physical home. *gratitude*)
As I've read and watched MAGA pundits, Old Testament Bible verses are often used to justify the Iran war. The only New Testament verses I've read or heard from them come from the Book of Revelation. I've also seen folks use the account of Jesus throwing the money changers out of the temple.
Justifying by using the Old Testament and Book of Revelation makes complete sense; both are ripe with stories of war and annihilation of the unbeliever.
But what of the gospels? What of the Pauline epistles?
Both seem to be absent from these pundits.
I recently reread the Book of Romans and wondered if these claiming-to-be-Christian pundits had ever read it.
Personally, I believe The Way International's interpretation of scripture is more accurate than most other interpretations.
"Omg, Carol! How can you say that!?!"
I chuckle at that response.
My answer is layered and complex.
And it includes my time as an agnostic; a Methodist; a Baptist; a Charismatic; a Way believer; a serious student of Biblical word studies; a quasi-Christian Universalist; a reader about and of various religions, beliefs, and myths...
One thing The Way taught that I believe is more accurate than tradition is that Jesus died on a Wednesday and was raised on a Saturday--thus fulfilling 3 days and 3 nights in the grave--and that he was crucified right as the Judeans were sacrificing their Passover lambs; Jesus was the literal Passover. When I shared this with someone the Wednesday before Easter this year, they responded, "That makes much more sense!'
I also want to note that Wierwille did plagiarize.
And much of Way interpretation comes from other sources; E.W. Bullinger comes to mind.
~*~
As I lay in bed this past week before drifting off, I was thinking about Hegseth's Pulp Fiction prayer and about MAGA pundits using OT scripture as a justification for war.
And I thought of the Jesus I learned of through the decades...
The Jesus I loved as a brother...
The Jesus who was not God but fully human and understood human doubts and hardships and longings...
The Jesus who stood up for the poor and marginalized...
The Jesus who was falsely accused and executed and prayed while hanging on the stake, "Father forgive them, for they know not what they do."
Then some visuals came to mind...
An image of Jesus being repulsed by the current political administration and the people as whited sepulchers.
Then an image of Jesus feeling his repulse, recognizing it as a normal human reaction, and recognizing that misuse of scripture is what power-hungry humans do. It is to be expected; it's no surprise.
The next image was of Jesus, peaceful and calm, steadily going about his calling of John 3:16.
~*~
So does the above mean I've reconverted back to being a Bible believer?
No.
I'm still a CU-leaning agnostic, sprinkled with mysticism.
These days I feel a deep resonance with the principles of Daoism.
~*~
June 27, 2018
Fields of Gray
I seldom post about or talk politics. Or religion for that matter. I don't have energy for debate or even discussion. It can drain me. So I avoid such for my mental and emotional and physical health.
Actually I don't like to debate, even if I had the energy. There was a time I did. Maybe when I saw things more black and white. But was it really debate, or me just trying to change the other person's mind? Maybe that's what debate is, at least in part.
Things I think about.
I lean pretty far left in my ideal world. I wish people could freely migrate. I wish money didn't exist. I don't like guns for killing. I wish we didn't kill animals for consumption (though I am not a vegetarian, so that's hypocritical of me). And that when we do kill them, it shouldn't be for sport. And that those we kill to eat should be treated humanely. But then how can killing another for my own consumption ever be humane?
Things I think about.
But my far-left leaning ideal isn't practical and will never work in this world; greed doesn't allow for such. So I vote with that in mind. Maybe crimes against humanity are in there too - as far as my ideal not being practical. And as far as peace without weapons. But then, outside of severe mental illness, what are the reasons people resort to crime?
Things I think about.
Usually my political talks are with Hubby, Daughter, Daughter's partner, Son, and one friend. Not all of us are politically left-leaning. That said, none are far right; but rather, more middle-right. A couple of us even voted for Trump, but those couple aren't Trump loyalists. So, we have one of those mixed families. And we still love each other and respect each other. Politically-mixed families. One reason I wish Roseanne hadn't been cancelled (though I never watched a lot of Roseanne) and one reason I like Tim Allen's show, Last Man Standing.
Things I think about.
So, what was I gonna write about? Oh yeah...that I seldom post about or talk politics.
But, I want to put some of my thoughts out there regarding some of the stuff in the news. Even though I seldom voice my thoughts (except in private conversation as noted above), I do read, both right and left, and center. I sign a few petitions, and I send emails from time to time to my representatives. How much influence those small actions have, I don't know. That said, I am a believer that enough small actions combined, can influence. And I vote. Before I vote I read up on the people and the issues on whom and which I'll be voting.
I have lost sleep over Trump and his policies. Especially the children in the holding centers. Especially the littlest ones - five and under. When I read the words of a pediatrician who toured one of the twelve-and-under facilities, I think it was in Texas, and learned the caregivers could not touch the children to comfort them, I was horrified. Yes, horrified. I thought, What the fuck is wrong with these people!?! "These people" referring mainly to the policy makers. From what I gathered the caregiver wanted to pick up and comfort the child that was in distress that the pediatrician was witnessing at that moment, but the pediatrician was told that touching the children was not allowed. Surely though, they could touch babies? I mean, if diapers need changing, etc., they have to touch them. Maybe it was limited to what was deemed only "necessary" in the physical. (I couldn't find the article I initially read, but I found this on which, in the context of comforting the child, states "...we were told that they couldn't pick up the children and hold them.".)
That night I barely slept.
Trump harks about crime committed by people who are in our country illegally. I really question how much crime is committed by those people versus us legals, proportionally speaking. I don't think any of the mass shootings have been by illegal migrants. I think most mass shootings have been committed by white males. People are murdered daily in the US. I speculate most of those murders are committed via gunshot. How many are committed by illegals? Recent crime in my local area isn't committed by illegals. If it is, that isn't reported on the local news.
I've read a bit to try to get a grasp on asylum seekers, who, from what I gather, have recently been charged as criminals when in the past they were given a court date to reappear to decide something about their status. Trump stated only 3% return for their hearings. I read elsewhere, that listed a government source (I'm pretty sure it was a government source), that 75% return, if I understood what I read correctly. (I can't find the article I initially read, but here's one with similar information.) Trump lied stating we have 1000s of immigration judges. For him to not allow two-hundred-something judges to be added to the three-hundred-something we already have so that these cases can be expedited and so that the current children may be more quickly reunited with their families, is cruel.
I think Trump's bullying and degrading rhetoric has been a catalyst for both the left and the right to ramp up their own dehumanizing rhetoric. I hope that doesn't sound sanctimonious. Maybe it does. But, still, his normalization of such is toxic.
He so reminds me of Craig Martindale, one of the past presidents of The Way International.
I was recently updating my Way story again and came across a line about Martindale's obsession with "keeping the Household pure." "Household" refers to followers of The Way. And it was an obsession. Sniffing out any gay people and then kicking them out, sometimes literally. One Corps guy told me that he caught some gays in the act in a bathroom at the Rock of Ages and used his cowboy boots, literally kicking them. Sometimes folks weren't even gay and the decision was based on suspicion and so-called revelation from God. Kicking out people, again by revelation, for not following any number of "directives," as The Way called them.
When I read the line in my story about Martindale's purity obsession, Trump's toxic Nationalism came to mind. No, it's not identical, but the mindset and some of the tactics are similar.
I went along with Martindale's mark-and-avoid. One time I even called our leadership on a believer, who was a friend of mine, and reported her for having debt. She was going to the Advanced Class and believers were supposed to be out of debt to go.
I did that.
I sent back a letter in an envelope to an ex-Way friend and wrote something like "mark-and-avoid" on the outside of the envelope. If I recall correctly, I didn't even open the envelope. I did call our immediate leadership and asked what to do and followed his directions.
I did that.
I can't think of other incidents at the moment. I'm sure there are more.
My did-thats were wrong. They were cruel. They were dehumanizing, treating people as things. All to support a doctrine and practice that, at the time, I believed was God-ordained and the right thing to do. It was a slow process to get me to that point. I made little compromises along The Way.
Well, that isn't what I planned on writing. I was going to write more about politics and some of the current issues/events I've read about and my thoughts about such.
*~*
I just searched my blog to find a specific post about Trump. In my search I discovered that I've posted more than I thought about our current politics and Trumpism.
Black-and-white thinking brought to mind a Bruce Hornsby song which, to my recollection, I heard for the first time a few months ago. This video brought me tears, mostly thankful ones...
~*~
Actually I don't like to debate, even if I had the energy. There was a time I did. Maybe when I saw things more black and white. But was it really debate, or me just trying to change the other person's mind? Maybe that's what debate is, at least in part.
Things I think about.
I lean pretty far left in my ideal world. I wish people could freely migrate. I wish money didn't exist. I don't like guns for killing. I wish we didn't kill animals for consumption (though I am not a vegetarian, so that's hypocritical of me). And that when we do kill them, it shouldn't be for sport. And that those we kill to eat should be treated humanely. But then how can killing another for my own consumption ever be humane?
Things I think about.
But my far-left leaning ideal isn't practical and will never work in this world; greed doesn't allow for such. So I vote with that in mind. Maybe crimes against humanity are in there too - as far as my ideal not being practical. And as far as peace without weapons. But then, outside of severe mental illness, what are the reasons people resort to crime?
Things I think about.
Usually my political talks are with Hubby, Daughter, Daughter's partner, Son, and one friend. Not all of us are politically left-leaning. That said, none are far right; but rather, more middle-right. A couple of us even voted for Trump, but those couple aren't Trump loyalists. So, we have one of those mixed families. And we still love each other and respect each other. Politically-mixed families. One reason I wish Roseanne hadn't been cancelled (though I never watched a lot of Roseanne) and one reason I like Tim Allen's show, Last Man Standing.
Things I think about.
So, what was I gonna write about? Oh yeah...that I seldom post about or talk politics.
But, I want to put some of my thoughts out there regarding some of the stuff in the news. Even though I seldom voice my thoughts (except in private conversation as noted above), I do read, both right and left, and center. I sign a few petitions, and I send emails from time to time to my representatives. How much influence those small actions have, I don't know. That said, I am a believer that enough small actions combined, can influence. And I vote. Before I vote I read up on the people and the issues on whom and which I'll be voting.
I have lost sleep over Trump and his policies. Especially the children in the holding centers. Especially the littlest ones - five and under. When I read the words of a pediatrician who toured one of the twelve-and-under facilities, I think it was in Texas, and learned the caregivers could not touch the children to comfort them, I was horrified. Yes, horrified. I thought, What the fuck is wrong with these people!?! "These people" referring mainly to the policy makers. From what I gathered the caregiver wanted to pick up and comfort the child that was in distress that the pediatrician was witnessing at that moment, but the pediatrician was told that touching the children was not allowed. Surely though, they could touch babies? I mean, if diapers need changing, etc., they have to touch them. Maybe it was limited to what was deemed only "necessary" in the physical. (I couldn't find the article I initially read, but I found this on which, in the context of comforting the child, states "...we were told that they couldn't pick up the children and hold them.".)
That night I barely slept.
Trump harks about crime committed by people who are in our country illegally. I really question how much crime is committed by those people versus us legals, proportionally speaking. I don't think any of the mass shootings have been by illegal migrants. I think most mass shootings have been committed by white males. People are murdered daily in the US. I speculate most of those murders are committed via gunshot. How many are committed by illegals? Recent crime in my local area isn't committed by illegals. If it is, that isn't reported on the local news.
I've read a bit to try to get a grasp on asylum seekers, who, from what I gather, have recently been charged as criminals when in the past they were given a court date to reappear to decide something about their status. Trump stated only 3% return for their hearings. I read elsewhere, that listed a government source (I'm pretty sure it was a government source), that 75% return, if I understood what I read correctly. (I can't find the article I initially read, but here's one with similar information.) Trump lied stating we have 1000s of immigration judges. For him to not allow two-hundred-something judges to be added to the three-hundred-something we already have so that these cases can be expedited and so that the current children may be more quickly reunited with their families, is cruel.
I think Trump's bullying and degrading rhetoric has been a catalyst for both the left and the right to ramp up their own dehumanizing rhetoric. I hope that doesn't sound sanctimonious. Maybe it does. But, still, his normalization of such is toxic.
He so reminds me of Craig Martindale, one of the past presidents of The Way International.
I was recently updating my Way story again and came across a line about Martindale's obsession with "keeping the Household pure." "Household" refers to followers of The Way. And it was an obsession. Sniffing out any gay people and then kicking them out, sometimes literally. One Corps guy told me that he caught some gays in the act in a bathroom at the Rock of Ages and used his cowboy boots, literally kicking them. Sometimes folks weren't even gay and the decision was based on suspicion and so-called revelation from God. Kicking out people, again by revelation, for not following any number of "directives," as The Way called them.
When I read the line in my story about Martindale's purity obsession, Trump's toxic Nationalism came to mind. No, it's not identical, but the mindset and some of the tactics are similar.
I went along with Martindale's mark-and-avoid. One time I even called our leadership on a believer, who was a friend of mine, and reported her for having debt. She was going to the Advanced Class and believers were supposed to be out of debt to go.
I did that.
I sent back a letter in an envelope to an ex-Way friend and wrote something like "mark-and-avoid" on the outside of the envelope. If I recall correctly, I didn't even open the envelope. I did call our immediate leadership and asked what to do and followed his directions.
I did that.
I can't think of other incidents at the moment. I'm sure there are more.
My did-thats were wrong. They were cruel. They were dehumanizing, treating people as things. All to support a doctrine and practice that, at the time, I believed was God-ordained and the right thing to do. It was a slow process to get me to that point. I made little compromises along The Way.
Well, that isn't what I planned on writing. I was going to write more about politics and some of the current issues/events I've read about and my thoughts about such.
*~*
I just searched my blog to find a specific post about Trump. In my search I discovered that I've posted more than I thought about our current politics and Trumpism.
Black-and-white thinking brought to mind a Bruce Hornsby song which, to my recollection, I heard for the first time a few months ago. This video brought me tears, mostly thankful ones...
~*~
November 15, 2025
Quack: Projection or Pattern Recognition?
I don't exactly recall when I first wondered, Why does Trump outright lie about the obvious?
(Currently the "obvious" are statements about the economy doing better, how grocery prices are lower, how the USA is respected again around the world, how gas prices are down to $2.00 a gallon, and so forth...)
The knee-jerk response to my question could be, "Because he's a sociopath, a malignant narcissist, a conman, a gaslighter, and ..."
But that still doesn't answer my question.
Perhaps it'd be better phrased, "What advantage is there to outright lying when a person/people are outright experiencing the opposite of that which the liar proclaims?"
The Way taught, "Confession of receipt yields receipt of confession," which means to speak into realty that which hasn't yet manifested. And also, to build one's believing so that the manifestation can happen.
Trump grew up attending Norman Vincent Peale's church. Peale taught similar to what The Way taught/teaches regarding this formula. This manifestation doctrine has been labeled the "health-and-wealth gospel."
Ah, maybe that's it. Trump maybe does believe that if he speaks something that isn't as if it is, in due time, what he speaks will manifest.
*~*
In addition to the Jeffrey Epstein fiasco, I've been keeping an eye on the recent online feud between Marjorie Taylor Greene and Donald J. Trump.
What I see in Trump's responses is someone who is hiding or protecting something or someone. In his responses I see someone who is (or at least may be) guilty of the thing(s) of which he is accused and/or of the very things of which he accuses others.
I witnessed this type of behavior in The Way and in the anti-cult movement and (more up close and personal) with John M. Knapp, formerly LMSW...
Name calling, the perp making him/herself into a victim, deflection, threats, false accusations against those who are calling out the aggressor, outright lies to prop up just how righteous the perp is, flamboyant theatre as a way for the perp to present him/herself as someone who thinks outside the box and is taking a stand for truth in a clever way...
~*~
When The Way was unraveling in the latter 1980s and then again in the latter 1990s (corresponding with two big Way-believer exoduses), Hubby and I considered and discussed what we had heard and read. Each time we made, what we considered at the time, an informed decision to continue with The Way through both those exoduses. One of our concluding reasons to stay was, "There's nothing else better out there..."
I've heard and read folks state regarding Trump, "Well, it's still better than Biden or Kamala." That statement kind of reminds me of us deciding there was nothing better outside the household of The Way. But how can one know if there's anything better if they don't look around and check out what else is out there? And how can one know that things would be worse under Kamala?
[BTW, a bottom-line reason I voted for Harris (and either not vote or vote for a third-party candidate whom I figured would lose) was because I'd rather navigate the censorship/government overreach of the Left than what I saw coming as the censorship/government overreach of MAGA.]
As far as the sexual-abuse accusations against Wierwille (the founder and first president of The Way) and other top leadership in The Way, Hubby and I believed devil spirits were at work in the accusers. After all, the devil is "the father of lies" and he is always into blaming the Ministry so as to keep people enslaved to his manipulations. Also, free-love hippies were flocking to The Way in the 1960s through the early 1980s; these women probably flaunted Wierwille and in a moment of weakness he succumbed. And why didn't these women speak up earlier? After all, they didn't speak up until after Wierwille died; he couldn't defend himself.
Does that reasoning (by Hubby and me at the time) sound familiar?
It's called rationalization and is a normal, human response when one is holding onto a "truth" in which they have invested a lot of energy, money, time, heart, life, effort, and trust.
Hubby and I now believe and know differently regarding, among other things, the accounts of the women who have shared some of their experiences.
~*~
This morning, I read an X-post by MTG calling out DJT on one of his lies about her, that she had been calling him a lot and complaining to everyone that he hasn't returned her calls. She responded with the facts -- she hasn't called him, but she has sent him two texts which she posted.
Good for MTG. That's how one should (depending on circumstances) respond to false accusations.
Respond with the facts and material evidence if one has any.
DJT's post about MTG are just small, little lies that one could chalk up to just a misspeak...
That said, the devil is in the details...
~*~
When Knapp initially privately gaslit me and privately falsely accused me in August 2010, I could have brushed it off as not-that-big-of-a-deal. And in comparison to most abuses, it was "small" (unless you were in my shoes). But within a week of Knapp's abusive actions and words directed at me, I learned this wasn't the first time Knapp had behaved in this manner. The information I received was corroborated by someone else later that month. And yes, knowing that was one reason I decided that I should file an official complaint -- Knapp's behavior was a pattern.
As I state elsewhere upon learning this information:
"...I am stunned at the things shared with me. I ask why no one spoke up about these incidents as a warning for others. Chris tells me that people allowed a wide margin for Knapp because of the supposed trauma he had suffered due to the TMO [Transcendental Meditation Organization]. Also, some thought Knapp had changed after going back to school and earning his social work license.
Though I don't take all the information at face value, it does match my experience. Knapp had behaved toward me as he had toward others.But none of the others were clients..."
Of course, my personal experiences were not on a gigantic, national, worldwide scale which can result in national or global havoc (which brings to mind Covid).
And one could say that I'm projecting my experiences into what I am currently witnessing (and have witnessed) in the MAGA-sphere.
But here's another way to look at it: Maybe it's not projection, but rather pattern recognition.
If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck, most likely, it's a duck.
~*~
For a deeper dive into my experiences with Knapp, here are three links:
1) This is a copy of my complaint which I filed at the end of September 2010: Complaint Overview.
2) This post shares my response to Knapp's public accusations which he posted on his organization's website and on social media (tagging folks in the cult-recovery field) almost a year later, in August 2011: My statements addressing John M. Knapp's allegations & accusations.
3) This post shares a deep dive (but still omits details) into the timeline of events: The Knapp Saga: For the Record. As I state in the opening of the piece, one of the reasons that I decided to post the timeline is "because perhaps this record... may help validate anyone who has endured a similar manipulative experience; whether with Knapp or someone else. The timeline gives an example of the slow process into entanglement and of rationalizing certain behaviors because of so-called trust."
Again, if it walks like a duck and talks like a duck, most likely, it's a duck...
~*~~*~
Well, this is interesting...
After I published this blog piece I checked my blog stats for the past 24 hours. And, lo and behold, one post that had been visited is entitled "Why would they lie?"
The piece takes a deeper dive into my rationalizations regarding sexual abuse allegations of Way leadership. Unlike my 11/15/25 post which poses the question regarding a perpetrator, the 2019 post poses the same question but in regard to the victim-survivors and whistleblowers...
August 9, 2024
Destruction might be just around the corner...
Are we catastrophizing our current state as a nation?
"This is the most (or one of the most) important election(s) in our history."
"The country is on the brink of collapse."
"If the other side wins, we'll be a third world country."
"If the other side wins, we'll go backward to the 1950s."
And on, and on, and on, and on...
The othering, especially from the Trump camp because to me it seems more prevalent than in the Harris camp, but maybe I look at too many Trump videos and tweets and not enough Harris, though I'm pretty burned out on all of it at this point. (How 'bout than for a run-on sentence...)
So back to othering. The thought ran through my noggin recently, Trump's obsession with Harris reminds me of Martindale's obsession with devil spirits. But it's not just an obsession with Harris. Hmmm, I think that it's more Trump's obsession with "evil" that so reminds me of the second president of The Way; evil and devil spirits were a main focus through his entire tenure as The Way's president. And his hollering from the pulpit got louder as the years rolled along. I once asked a prominent Way leader why Martindale hollered so much. I was told it was because he doesn't want the Household to get tricked by the adversary.
There were times in The Way that I thought, It seems like the devil is more powerful than God. It was all about control. We followers were treated as children, and we complied. Similarly, Trump's rhetoric paints a picture of the US as a terrible place to live -- for one, a country invaded by foreigners who commit horrendous crimes. How many crimes have been carried out by US citizens in comparison to these 'lawless invaders'? I wonder how many US mass shootings have been carried out by these 'evil people'? (And there, ladies and gentlemen, you have a run-on paragraph.)
No, I do not believe that this is the most important election in history.
Maybe it's one of the most important in this century, which just started 24 years ago.
Looking back, which election was the most important in American history?
Perhaps the very first election?
Or the election that first allowed women voters?
Or the election that first allowed black voters?
Or an election when the US was in a boots-on-the-ground war?
If Trump wins, he wins. (But it won't be by my vote.)
If Harris wins, she wins. (Which would be historic - the first woman US President.)
If Kennedy wins, he wins. (It's a moon shot. I sure wish the debate hosts, or whomever makes the rules, would allow Kennedy as well as other third-party candidates on the stage.)
On the other hand, our country and world may be on a course of soon-collapse regardless of who wins the US presidential election. (Will there be a "bloodbath," regardless of who wins or loses?)
A past friend once asked my thoughts on climate change.
I responded, "What did the dinosaurs do to cause their own extinction?"
Point being, that was one earth cycle.
Eventually, regardless of what humans do or don't do, this current earth cycle too will/may eventually end, perhaps similar to the dinosaur age.
That said, I think we humans have a big impact on climate and environment.
And we are to steward the earth with care and foresight for the future.
Sadly, pollution is kind of like government corruption -- there's so much of it how can we ever clean it up?
But we humans are a prideful bunch...
And as Solomon wrote, "Pride goeth before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall."
So, destruction might be just around the corner...
~*~
I don't know about the hereafter...
But I want to believe there is something good awaiting...
~*~
A couple essays, about our times, which I read after posting the above:
1. Charles Eisenstein: An Us that requires no Them
2. Pilgrims in the Machine: 2030 and Beyond: Are the end times coming, again?
July 18, 2024
Thoughts and sighs.....
Here we go again...
The thought ran through my head last night, with a sigh.
What was I bemoaning?
Another election year, specifically with Trump.
More thoughts continued...
I don't like election years.
Rhetoric from the left. Rhetoric from the right. Each camp accusing the other camp of the same stuff, i.e.: "hate speech," "division," "lying, "communists," "nazis," and more.
It so much reminds me of my cult/anti-cult days.
I think I'm triggered by all this craziness.
Another sigh...
Cult and anti-cult were like two sides of the same coin. We're right; they're wrong. We're good; they're bad. Our motives are pure; their motives are evil. Black; white. No room for nuance or consideration that the "other" may be right, at least about some things.
The thoughts above were triggered after the July thirteenth assassination attempt on Trump and the fist-up, bloody-eared iconic photo. Another feather in Trump's hat making him a kind of mythical human protected by divine intervention. Was that the case? If so, where was the divine intervention for the father, husband, and fire chief who sacrificed his life to save his family? What of the two other mass shootings later that same evening? Not to mention the oh-so-many children who have been killed by gunfire.
~*~
The week before July 13th, I had listened to a couple podcasts critical of The Way International's (TWI's) past. The day after listening to those, I received a text from an ex-Way friend with links to some old (1993-'94) home videos of showing family life at Way properties. I also watched some of the current YouTube videos from The Way.
As I watched the '93-'94 home videos, my brain took me back to that timeframe in The Way. (I was involved from 1977 - 2005.) Watching the videos, a viewer might think that TWI sounds like a wonderful Chirstian group with which to be involved. The grounds are beautiful. The children and people all seem so happy. The Rock of Ages looks like a lot of fun...and it was; I was there.
Yet in reality, behind the scenes, sinister acts were being doled out; mainly, secret manipulative sexual favors for TWI's top leadership. I say "mainly," but that doesn't include the indoctrination of The Way being the "true household of God," the fear of devil-spirit possession if one leaves "the household," of the obedience to leadership, of the financial-giving command of at least 10% of one's income (more then 10% if one really desired spiritual understanding), and other stuff.
Then, if one listens to the critical podcasts, a different picture of The Way is painted. Yet that information also is one-sided, and part of it is inaccurate. A listener may wonder why anyone could have stayed with The Way. The '93-'94 videos could show part of the why.
These two duplicitous Way "realities,' which I'm well aware of...
I don't know how to describe exactly how or what I felt afterward as I pondered them, except that of curiosity. The appearance that all is wonderful, when it isn't. Not that unusual really. I don't hang all my dirty laundry out there. But neither do I deny it. Denial of such can play a part in manipulation -- when an organization or individual denies (or exaggerates) their past.
So, how does someone know who or what to believe? Boy, that's a deep question -- beliefs and where they emanate from.
The times I've been falsely accused, I've responded as truthfully as I could without exposing someone else's dirty laundry. But anyone learning about such accusations decides who and what to believe.
Such was the case with one of my (now ex) mental health therapists. I have no doubt that probably many folks believe/ed him over me (except for those who were privy to the whole story and to the therapist's past). All I could do was to write a response to many of his accusations. The rest was/is left up to the reader.
~*~
So why am I triggered by Trump?
I think because Trump reminds me too much of my past cult involvement and of that ex-mental health therapist whom I mention above who tried to assassinate my character with outright lies in at least 12 different online rants.
Both the founder of The Way and its second president regularly condemned, disdained, mocked, self-righteously judged, and derided people who left The Way or rejected Way doctrine. We, and we alone, had the truth. We were the true household of God. I not only believed that, I knew it, until I discovered that I was wrong.
My ex-therapist (mentioned above) published his smear pieces almost one year after I had filed an official complaint with his state board. After his smear attempts, the state investigator turned things over to the state prosecutor. But then the state had a difficult time locating him because the ex-therapist skipped state shortly after publishing his smear pieces and after a previous part-time employee took him to small claims court for not paying the employee. (That employee never got paid.) I was later a witness for the state at the ex-therapist's state board licensing hearing. The ex-therapist did not show for the hearing. He ended up losing his license. Though I was the only client to file a complaint, I was not the only client harmed.
As I state in a post where I share a bit about the similarities between Trump and the ex-therapist: In one of Knapp's thirteen 2011 online smear pieces, he made a statement, "Game on." But he was the only one playing a game. He lied. He threatened. He made himself out as a victim. He name-called. He assigned evil motives. He rallied his supporters, until he then turned on most of them.
Trump's behavior and rhetoric exhibits similar qualities described above.
As the saying goes, "If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck, it's (probably) a duck."
I rationalized my ex-cult leaders. I rationalized some of my ex-therapist's behavior, extending the benefit of the doubt, until I too got caught in his bullseye.
~*~
So, cult stuff was floating around in my head entangled with the political stuff.
Thus, I think, I've been triggered.
Oh, how lovely.
What can I do to help me feel/be more grounded as the months unroll toward the November election and beyond?
- Limit my political news intake.
- Read books or articles that have helped me in the past.
- Engage with life beyond the screen. Too much screen life can cause life to look narrow and small, when in reality, there's a big, wide world of discovery out there. So, go for that Carol. That is where you feel the most connected.
- Don't be afraid of any trigger-responses. Thank them for having helped me at one time. Ask what they are trying to teach me now. Then, listen.
- Remember the BITE model. Behavior, information, thought, emotional manipulation or control. If I feel myself being pulled in any of those directions, stop. Pay attention. Ask questions (not necessarily with someone else, though there a few folks I trust with my inner-most challenges).
- Music and movement.
- Prayer and meditation.
- Long drives in the country and mountains.
- Continue to visit the frescoes on the North Carolina Fresco Trail.
- Visits via phone or in-person with friends and family.
- Help out local folks who are in need as I am able.
- Spread kindness.
- Keep writing.
- And remember the words of C.S. Lewis:
...In other words, do not let us begin by exaggerating the novelty of our situation.Believe me, dear sir or madam, you and all whom you love were alreadysentenced to death before the atomic bomb was invented: and quite a highpercentage of us were going to die in unpleasant ways. We had, indeed, one verygreat advantage over our ancestors — anesthetics; but we have that still. Itis perfectly ridiculous to go about whimpering and drawing long faces becausethe scientists have added one more chance of painful and premature death to aworld which already bristled with such chances and in which death itself wasnot a chance at all, but a certainty.This is the first point to be made: and the first action to be taken is to pullourselves together. If we are all going to be destroyed by an atomic bomb, let thatbomb when it comes find us doing sensible and human things praying, working,teaching, reading, listening to music, bathing the children, playing tennis, chattingto our friends over a pint and a game of darts—not huddled together likefrightened sheep and thinking about bombs. They may break our bodies (amicrobe can do that) but they need not dominate our minds... ~C.S. Lewis, 1948
~*~~*~
Addendum:
8/07/24
I began a project last week: to identify the similarities between Trump and my experiences with The Way and with John Knapp. To help me ferret through these similarities, I have decided to reread the book The Dangerous Case of Donald Trump. I want to be as neutral as I can in this process which, of course, is a challenge. What helps me to maintain neutrality (as best I can) is to recall when I publicly addressed Knapp's accusations and when I filed an official complaint on Knapp, an ex-mental health therapist. In both instances I listed the facts of what happened and then listed my responses to those happenings. I had to do similar at his licensing board hearing when I was a witness for the state. (Click here for a deep dive into the timeline of events.)
Today, I perused some things on my blog that I've written in the past. I find them helpful in navigating the craziness that abounds on Twitter/X and elsewhere on the digital stage. (I still prefer "Twitter." Sorry Elon.)
Below is a list of some of those previous ramblings. I may expand this list as time goes on.
July 4, 2016: What is Truth?
December 13, 2016: "Can a leopard change his spots?"
March 22, 2017: Rights and Lefts
July 10, 2017: Hush Patrol (an excerpt)
August 17, 2017: Contrasts and comparisons...
October 21, 2017: Abnormal normals
September 21, 2017: Far-middle
November 28, 2017: Reality and boredom: "cult of continuous stimulation"
July 5, 2020: Bane in my quiver...