June 25, 2011

September, 2010: Embalm & Die Happy

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Note: The following is more from my personal journal and/or other writings as I moved through the inner turmoil after the Knapp trauma which happened the end of July/beginning of August, 2010. The sharings are simply my thoughts at the time processing through events that took place with my ex-therapist, John M. Knapp, LMSW. To access an ongoing index, click here and scroll down to the section entitled June 26, 2011.
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Embalm
September 10, 2011

underneath my skin
just beneath the surface
an unreachable itch
vacillating, floating
trying to push through

to reveal, to disclose
to expose, to liberate

the tiny morsels
suppressed by authority
screaming for release
so as to not be buried

where 1000 splinters
morph into boards
solidified plywood
encasing my heart
as it silently pulses

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Verbal abuse plus the silent treatment.
A soul murdering combination.
But only if I allow it.
___________________________

just another day
September 13, 2010

Wonder what will roll off my pen tonight.

I continue to read a couple books. One is Influence by Robert Cialdini. The other is Lonliness as a Way of Life by Thomas Dumm. I'm slow at reading books these days. Actually I get distracted by blogs and news that I read online. Sometimes I re-read my own stuff. Ha.

I am continuing to read Fred Poole's life story on his blog, Fred Poole on Writing. Once I get it read, I'll read Fred's Aqua Mustang memoir. I'm reading each update on Marta Szabo's new blog, Memoir in Progress.

I regularly check for updates on the blogs I have listed on toss & ripple. I like blogs, obviously.

Today I wrote for a couple hours ~ official stuff, beginning the complaint for NY state ~ nothing creative.

I had fun with my son this afternoon and then tonight with my son and my husband.

I laughed with my friend, Louise, today on the phone. As I think about her now, I chuckle. We may market some bobble heads. Haha. :-D

The memoir workshops begin Wednesday. I'm excited and nervous, like always.

Wednesday will be 26 years since my husband and I were married. We are now happily married, but it hasn't always been that way.

I am rich in this life, rich with good people. If I die tonight, I'd die happy. I like it when I feel like that, which happens on occasion.

I hope I feel like that tomorrow night...and the next night, and the next night, and the next night....

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